WTF For Hire: Flatulent Ebonics Speakers for DEA Jobs

Atan Nolme

Flaccid Member
Oct 14, 2004
Karningul,Eriador, Endor
It may be raising some eyebrows, but the Drug Enforcement Administration insists it needs to hire at least nine people fluent in Ebonics.

The DEA's Atlanta office has been looking for Ebonics "linguists" since at least May, when job vacancies were posted online.

According to one posting, the linguist's duties would include "monitoring varying numbers of communications intercepts during any given shift" and then providing "reliable and accurate transcriptions."

An agency official, said there is nothing "racial" about the job, and described white rapper Eminem as "one of the best speakers of Ebonics there ever was."

"There are words that people use that I never used," the official said. "It's a dialect that certain people use, and we see a need for it."

The DEA also sees a need for linguists who speak scores of other languages and dialects, including Jamaican Patois. The DEA is looking to hiring such linguists too.

As for why the DEA office is looking for nine Ebonics speakers -- on a contract basis -- the official said that would cover teams of three working three different shifts.

See one job posting from May here.



Druish Princess
May 25, 2005
Columbia, Maryland, United States
I think you'll find Patois is another form of English altogether. It isn't 'broken' it's an adaptation. If you've ever heard someone have an argument in Patois you'll know that it is nothing like English at all. Quite a few language sources are used. :)

I'm not really sure that's the same for ebonics. I'm no linguist, but I think it's just laziness, inability to read and write, and all this passed down from generation to generation. Scrimp, libary, ax, hura - these words and sounds aren't taken from other places or languages. It just evolved into this. Perhaps it's another way for 'them' to separate themselves from 'us'. No idea. I know the kids who grow up speaking this way can't spell or read. They actually believe that it's scrimp. They try to spell it that way rather than learning that it's shrimp. They get frustrated in school because they don't want to feel stupid, but when learning English and grammar they are made to feel that way. They don't understand that what they've been taught is actually wrong and will get them nowhere. Very frustrating stuff. If you want to prepare your child for the working world, prepare them to read, write, and speak just like everyone else. I know conformity sucks, but there are reasons for it.


Doesnt Read Thread Titles
Sep 1, 2006
The problem with ebonics or dialects like it is most of it comes out of ignorance and laziness. When you have the ability to speak both ways depending on who you are talking to is 100% lame and lazy.