Flytrap #2 - Possible NSFW Content and WAW fail , Whiskey Bacon and tamale hootch

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Chicken is that your car?

funny-car-photos-you-left-out-ignorant-redneck.jpg
 
The kind of retaliation I like:

Comedienne Lisa Lampanelli took a unique stand against the anti-gay and vindictive bullies from Westboro Baptist Church, who protested her performance in Topeka on Friday night.

When the Topeka-based hate church targeted Lampanelli for her outspoken position on gay rights, the comedienne fired back earlier this week on Twitter. She promised to donate $1,000 to the Gay Men's Health Crisis, the nation's oldest HIV/AIDS organization, for every member of WBC that protested her show at the Topeka Performing Arts Center.

After her show on Friday, Lampanelli said on Twitter that it appeared there were 44 protesters.

She tweeted, "Thanks to these a-holes, $44,000 will be donated to the GMHC!!!"

The donation to the gay rights charity will made in the name of Westboro Baptist Church.

http://current.com/12v6mkc
 
My Mom sent me this one.
MY LAST TRIP TO COSTCO
Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow For my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had an elephant?
So since I'm retired and have little
to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again.
I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.
The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me.
I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's ass and a car hit me..
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was Laughing so hard.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the World to think of crazy things to say.
 
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