Flytrap #2 - Possible NSFW Content and WAW fail , Whiskey Bacon and tamale hootch

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My friend in the military just told me they all get Monday off to recover form the Super Bowl. Those mother fuckers get time off nonstop. For every day I get off he takes 2 to 3 days. I told him if he was a Joe his code name would be OnLeave. No wonder Cobra is winning.
 
so I'm at the bar downstairs after work yesterday having a drink waiting on my date and the guy sitting next to me for about 20 minutes since I got there asks for his check. looking over at him after a few double takes I figured out it was a guy I was buddies with in NY that I haven't seen in over 20 years. he was my next door neighbor's cousin. crazy.
 
my housemate just broke up - what advice do i give him rather than my normal, cynical hats off apporach?

i figured he can get the buck by the weekend. we shall see.
 
Don't bad mouth the girl in front of him unless it's to agree with him.

he's still on speaking terms with him - which is dangerous.

it was a clean breakup. he just has too much shit going on to worry about a relationship. the spark left a while ago, so it was easy i guess. he's not being emo in the slightest.

true though, she was/is a nice kid.
 
ask him if it's okay if you sex her up.

for the first time in my life i have a decent wife who is dead on.

never thought women had it in them. i don't know how the fuck she can put up with me though.
 
I think first, he may want to ask if she was any good in bed. THEN, if she is, whachoosed.

:)

they were sex ninjas - i always used to land down at his room half cut and you could tell they'd been at it, but there was no optical proof, so who knows.

maybe he just rubbed one out to /b/ while she watched
 
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