Flytrap #2 - Possible NSFW Content and WAW fail , Whiskey Bacon and tamale hootch

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If you See Something, Say Something

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WASHINGTON -- Department of Homeland Security (DHS) Secretary Janet Napolitano today announced the expansion of the Department’s national “If You See Something, Say Something” campaign to hundreds of Walmart stores across the country—launching a new partnership between DHS and Walmart to help the American public play an active role in ensuring the safety and security of our nation.
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'Naughty' joke gets Santa Claus fired from Macy's

Santa Claus has been canned from Macy's, and he's anything but jolly about it.

His fans aren't happy, either. And there are many.

John Toomey, known for 20 years at the Union Square Macy's in San Francisco as "Santa John," was told Saturday he'll have to take his "ho, ho, hos" elsewhere because an adult couple complained about a joke he cracked.

The joke has been in his Santa bag for decades. But after thousands of tellings, the 68-year-old retired caretaker for the elderly finally hit the wrong recipients - apparently an older woman and her husband, who considered it inappropriate.

Toomey - who stays in Oroville most summers and winters in San Francisco while he does the kiddie-on-the-knee gig - said he'd never had complaints before about the joke, which he saves for the occasional grown-up who visits him.

"When I ask the older people who sit on my lap if they've been good and they say, 'Yes,' I say, 'Gee, that's too bad,' " Toomey said Monday.

"Then, if they ask why Santa is so jolly, I joke that it's because I know where all the naughty boys and girls live."

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Airport Screener Test

question 1:

Of the following prohibited items, which is easiest to find:

a) plastics in the heel of a shoe.
b) liquid explosives in 3 oz containers.
c) underwear bombs
d) two parrots, a squirrel and FOUR snakes




Passenger manages to smuggle two parrots, a squirrel and FOUR snakes on eight-hour flight


A passenger was arrested after security officials discovered he had carried snakes, birds and a squirrel in hand luggage on a long-haul flight.
In a thankfully less-dramatic version of the 2006 thriller film Snakes On A Plane, fellow passengers were blissfully unaware of the man's box full of pets.
However, police arrested the suspect at Abu Dhabi International Airport after the Etihad Airways flight from Jakarta, Indonesia, when the animals were found with him.

The snakes were identified by an expert as being non-venomous reticulated and blood pythons.
It was unclear how he managed to get the animals past security in Indonesia.


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or,

e) Janet Napolitano
 
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This morning when I went for my morning bathroom trip I realised it was so cold in my house that there was a thick layer of ice on the INSIDE of the window. Fawk.

I also have a pounding headache. Grr. Maybe I'll smash the ice so I can get rid of my frustration and the ice in one swoop.
 
elizabeth edwards just died. john must feel like a real dick for cheating on her and having a kid while she was fighting cancer.
 
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