Flytrap #2 - Possible NSFW Content and WAW fail , Whiskey Bacon and tamale hootch

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Duke

. . first name's "Daisy" boys
May 12, 2008
55,859
18,142
41
Brandon, FL
http://www.jeepforum.com/forum/f11/96-jeep-cherokee-need-opinions-1149721/

The original post


The epic response

You want my opinion? Ok…

Shut the hell up. You’re not his wife. You’re not paying for the repairs. It’s absolutely none of your business what he does with his Jeep or his money. I know your type well… first it’s “Sell the Jeep because it’s costing too much money.” Then it’s “No, you can’t go spend the weekend with your buddies because I need you to take me shopping.” Then it’s “Oh gee, honey… I’m pregnant. Gosh, I have no idea how that happened.”

You’re a DreamKiller. You kill a guy’s dreams, take away his future, tie him down with a fat mortgage and too many babies, and turn him into just another miserable guy wondering, “How the hell did I get here?”

Do you really want to help him? Here’s what you do… go to your local library (it’s a big building with books inside) and check out a couple of books on rebuilding engines. Read them, over and over, until YOU understand what needs to be done. Then help him get that engine out and rebuild it. Tie your hair back in a ponytail, put on some old jeans and get your hands dirty. Hand him wrenches, hold the light, pull the wire connectors apart, help him get the hood off… help him with anything he needs. When he gets tired, run inside and make him a hot lunch or dinner. Fix him coffee, hot chocolate, whatever he wants. (But NO beer. Beer is for when the job is done.)

Then when the day is over and you’re both exhausted from working on the engine, push him into a hot shower and jump in with him. Scrub his back, wash his hair, rinse him off, and dry him with fluffy towels still hot from the dryer. Then push him into bed and screw his ears off. Then get up the next day and do it all over again.

Make him realize that rebuilding an engine is a slow and methodical process. Make him realize that every step should be regarded as surgery; every step must be perfect… perfect torque, perfect fit, perfectly clean. If you run into a step that you just can’t figure out, ask for help from someone who knows what he’s doing. Are you cute? Put on a low-cut top, show some cleavage and go (by yourself) to the local Jeep shop, and explain to the guys that you are helping your boyfriend to rebuild his engine and neither of you can figure out this one little step, and do they have any advice…

Think it won’t work? Think again. We guys love to help cute girls, even if they have a boyfriend. (Hey, maybe you’ve got a sister, or girlfriend…)

But absolutely DO NOT whine or complain. Do not say a single negative thing. Not a single “Oooooo, I broke a nail.” If you break a nail, or cut your finger, or bang a knuckle, you just shut up and DEAL WITH IT. You should be a hopelessly optomistic, never-say-die cheerleader, encouraging him every step of the way.

That’s my opinion.

God damn, this should be required reading.
 

plot

Morning Boehner
Oct 16, 2006
20,031
4,165
323
kansas city
That person is my new hero.


Even though the guy should sell the cherokee and get a real jeep with a bullet proof straight six.
 

Onnotangu

Flaccid Member
Oct 13, 2004
11,644
30
0
45
Detroit, MI USA
200k plus depending on what they find and how long it takes them. They go back 10 years and look into everywhere you lived, worked, gone to school. The will ask you for contacts for every location and change and go out and talk to those people. Thye will then ask those people for other people who may have known you and go talk to them. They will go through your medical records and if they find any mental type stuff that will usually kill it. They will pull all of your finances for the last 10 years. If you've been late of payments or bounced checks etc that will do it. They will go through criminal records looking for the same. The entire process can last anywhere from 6 months to multiple years to complete. Of course if you go for anything higher than a TS you start dealing with polygraphs. They cover the standard anti terror stuff as well as everything relating to your lifestyle. Trust me they are hardcore and no joke. If you have anything at all to hide they will find it.



wellllll I'm fucked.

late on payments in a few cases.
lol bad credit darkie

at least no mental stuff.
 

my little brony

Keep Being A Little Bitch
Oct 15, 2004
34,952
18,763
823
wellllll I'm fucked.

late on payments in a few cases.
lol bad credit darkie

at least no mental stuff.

not necessarily. they look at your financial history to see if you're at risk of being bribed. if you're completely open and honest with them, explain what happened, say that you made bad decisions in the past and are trying to fix them the right way, it'll help. it doesn't mean they won't deny you based on that fact but the absolute worst thing you can do is hide something because they will find it.

that being said, a secret clearance doesn't depend greatly on financial history and doesn't take nearly as long or cost nearly as much. that's why some three million people have one.
 

Sarcasmo

A Taste Of Honey Fluff Boy
Mar 28, 2005
34,395
461
648
43
Austin
When I worked for the DOJ a decade ago it took about 5 months for me to get my clearance. They sent agents (like Floptical said above) to talk to almost everyone I had ever known. Past neighbors, coworkers, associates, friends, etc. They talked to people I hadn't spoken to in years. They found out everything about me.
 
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