Flytrap #2 - Possible NSFW Content and WAW fail , Whiskey Bacon and tamale hootch

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Sarcasmo

A Taste Of Honey Fluff Boy
Mar 28, 2005
34,394
459
648
43
Austin
Originally Posted by Sarcasmo

How many ZRHs does it take to drink a bottle of vodka?


Let me Google it.

Originally Posted by Sarcasmo

How many ZRHs does it take to drink a bottle of vodka?


Is it the same volume of liquid as the bottle of his Panteen conditioner?


Originally Posted by Sarcasmo

How many ZRHs does it take to drink a bottle of vodka?


Who knows, gotta build a road to the store first.


Originally Posted by Sarcasmo

How many ZRHs does it take to drink a bottle of vodka?


First, you have to understand what the consumptive ratio of alcohol per person might be. It's actually quite a telling trait on how a person can handle their booze. 4 oz per consumed beverage per 15 lbs of body weight multiplied by BMI is indicative of how much alcohol a person can consume. This is under optimal conditions. Vagaries can be attributed to environmental conditions that cannot be matched location to location, but do indicate...........

I fully support this bit.
 

APRIL

Feel Free to Pee on Me
Sep 30, 2004
103,168
37,850
1,823
Houston
please read.... long but hilarious.
honestly this guy writes the funniest shit evaaaaar.

http://www.dlisted.com/files/hotslutritadaniels.jpg
This is 71-year-old Rita Daniels and if you couldn't already tell from her freshly fucked hair, that glistening twinkle of an orgasm in her eyes and a smile that says her nose was just smashed up against a backseat while her nana punane (punana?) was smashed up against a peen, she just got boned in a Buick before this mug shot of glamour was taken. The story, that I hope to reenact when I'm 71, started in a bar in Michigan one night when Miss Rita strolled in looking to fill her wild body with some booze and follow it up with a COCKtail chaser if you know what I mean. Miss Rita prowled the bar like a geriatric cougar with a bad back (but a good coochie) and set her eyes on her boy toy for the night 54-year-old Tim Adams who looks like this. Just ignore the facial expression that is sponsored by weak Viagra and cold regret:

http://www.dlisted.com/files/images/getitrita.jpg

Since nothing speeds up the horny like whiskey, Miss Rita grabbed Tim's hand and took him back to her place. And by her place, I mean a 2002 Buick Regal (with a license plate that reads "DIVA145" YAAAASSSSSS!) parked in front of a restaurant. Miss Rita hiked up her skirt, pulled her bloomers to the side and rode that young-ish buck dick so hard that the windows fogged up with a layer of hot lust (smelled like Icy Hot lube, burnt Malt-O-Meal, Fixodent, limburger cheese, beer-braised beef and Jean Nate-scented Spanish Fly). Just when Miss Rita was starting to howl like her doctor just waived her Medicare copay, some jizz-blocker had to call the cops. The prudish assholes said that Miss Rita and Tim were doing car sex in front of a restaurant where a 10-year-old boy was eating. Seriously, children fuck up everything!

When the cops asked Tim what he was doing, he obviously shot back with: "I'm fucking this chick!" Technically, Rita is a hen, but I'm sure she'll take the "chick" comment today, tomorrow and every other day. Miss Rita and Tim were arrested for indecent exposure and being drunk in public and were taken to jail.

Ole' girl got arrested and Tim probably knocked her hip out of place with one long thrust to the side and she don't even mind. My hero.

Burnt maltomeal... omfg hahahahahah
 

OzSTEEZ

¡ɟɟo ʞɔnɟ ʇunɔ 'ᴉO
Nov 11, 2008
35,272
9,368
473
40
Oz
It's smooth but has a flavor. I can't tell you if you are going to think it's good.

I know you can't tell if I think it's good. No one can, not even me. I just want to know if it is rated/thought of/reported/reviewed as a good Vodka.
 

Duke

. . first name's "Daisy" boys
May 12, 2008
55,859
18,142
41
Brandon, FL
I dont' know how 'doing' your own brakes will fix them, unless you think that sperm is going to give them a bit more grab.
 

ZRH

(retired?) Google-F.U.
Mar 5, 2005
21,043
642
548
<3
I know you can't tell if I think it's good. No one can, not even me. I just want to know if it is rated/thought of/reported/reviewed as a good Vodka.
It's 'fashionable' brand, pretty bottle, lots of advertising, overpriced, makes ok mixed drinks, not worth $40 a bottle though. Chopin is way better and only about $20 a bottle, has no flavor, lots of burn, very smooth.
 

Mean Mr. Mustard

Always shouts out something obscene
Sep 30, 2004
66,691
34,505
1,323
51
Uranus
Steam
heyfubuddy
Thats what Im talkin about

2gLxu.jpg
 

ZRH

(retired?) Google-F.U.
Mar 5, 2005
21,043
642
548
<3
no jack stands just a halt ton jack and tools front and rears on a 99 sunfire possible calipers.
Yeah thats gonna take awhile >.> You have to get price on air socket (lets call this S) and price on rotate/brake change (lets called this M) from mechanic and how many times per year you change pads (call this N) and we'll do 10 year life on the air socket. Then if S+(10*((.25N)*10)) =< M(100n) you buy tools and depreciate them off taxes

ETA: My math is suspect but Im trying to eat supper.
 
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I just learned I get to be an angel!!! http://www.imermanangels.org/ I registered with this organization as a caregiver/survivor after my mom and mother-in-law passed away and today I was matched with another caregiver. I hope I can be a help to someone going through such a rough time. I also hope I can devote the attention necessary to this considering I'm only a couple weeks away from having a baby. It's at least something I can give back considering I've had to give up on so many of my volunteer obligations this year. I hope next year will be a better year for that. I wonder how capable I'll be with a newborn.
Newborns aren't bad, they sleep a lot and lay around batting at stuff we can't see.

They sleep in cars, they sleep on planes, they sleep in restaurants, they'll sleep in a snuggly.

2 year olds on the other hand, are like a freight train and chemically enhanced hummingbird crossed.
 
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