FYI Florida is Autistic

Maureen

Lot's Salty Wife
Nov 16, 2010
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since all the cool things that ever happen in the history of forever only happen out of FLO-RIDA i thought a dedicated Florida thread for all things dum is just what we need around here.

also something in my savant bones tells me we had a similar FLA thread a while back but I'm too potato pregnant to go look for it.

1st up....

:case:










23-year-old Whitney Beall was arrested over the weekend in Lakeland, Florida after she used Twitter’s video feed app – Periscope, to live stream herself driving drunk.

In the clip Beall’s speech is heavily slurred as she starts off saying, “Hi, guys…I’m driving home drunk. Let’s see if I get a DUI. In the USA, people! Let’s see if I get a DUI. I don’t think I will. I really don’t, because I live on back roads.”

According to a report via TSG, several 911 calls were made to alert the authorities. In addition, “numerous text messages were sent to the driver asking her to stop driving before she killed someone or herself.”

Here’s the video shared by Beall. At the 11:40 mark she can be seen striking a sign which causes a tire to go flat (heads up – there’s lots of profanity):

“I’m driving. I think I’m on a flat tire. This is horrible… Goodbye red light… This song is super hot, I want you guys to know.”

An officer accessed the feed by logging into their own personal Periscope account. Shortly thereafter, Beall was spotted driving her 2015 Toyota Corolla with a flat front-left tire. Beall struck a curb before eventually coming to a stop.

She failed a number of field sobriety tests and was arrested for drunk driving.






i love you florida. please never change
 

Ledboots

Anne Perkins!
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Another brilliant Florida defense!
http://patch.com/florida/bradenton/man-blamed-dog-drunk-driving-deputies-say-0

"A Palmetto man’s attempt to blame his dog for erratic driving after a lengthy pursuit by Manatee County Sheriff’s deputies didn’t go over so well for him Wednesday evening.

It seems the man, and not his dog, now faces a long list of criminal charges including DWI with property damage, aggravated fleeing and eluding and leaving the scene of an accident."
 
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august

I’m always wet in my basement area
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http://www.fox5ny.com/news/32996541-story

Florida man arrested for DUI in electric wheelchair. #floridaman
last year at Fest, a friend of mine was on a rascal (he had a broken leg) and I was convinced he was going to get stopped because he was drunk and trying to make it do tricks. he ended up disappearing, but turns out he hooked up with some girl he met at a convenience store and went back to her place :lol:


edit: this also took place in FL but he's from TN
 

Jehannum

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last year at Fest, a friend of mine was on a rascal (he had a broken leg) and I was convinced he was going to get stopped because he was drunk and trying to make it do tricks. he ended up disappearing, but turns out he hooked up with some girl he met at a convenience store and went back to her place :lol:


edit: this also took place in FL but he's from TN
That is priceless. Did he get it to do any actual tricks? :lol:
 

Amstel

The Hoarse Whisperer

Amstel

The Hoarse Whisperer
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/stupid/florida-sex-position-dispute-746391

NOVEMBER 16--Meet Wendy Luper.

The 45-year-old Florida woman was arrested Saturday evening following an bizarre series of events that began with a trip to a storage unit with her ex-husband (with whom Luper
has recently reunited).

According to cops, Luper and Michael Vaccaro--who were married for 12 years--drove together to retrieve some of his belongings from their storage unit in Bradenton.

While parked in the rear of the facility, “Luper got undressed, and asked Vaccaro if he wanted to have sexual intercourse,” police reported. “Vaccaro agreed, and told Luper to lay down.”

But Luper, a court filing notes, “did not want to have sexual intercourse in that position and stated no.” It is unclear where the pair was planning to tryst, or the position that was rejected by Luper

During a subsequent argument, Luper allegedly struck Vaccaro in the head with a thrown object. As Vaccaro sought to remove some of his belongings from the car’s rear seat, Luper allegedly accelerated the auto “with Vaccaro still half way inside the vehicle.” As Vaccaro “pulled out of the vehicle,” Luper drove over his right foot.

When cops arrived at the scene, Vaccaro was bleeding from a head wound and his right foot appeared to be swelling. After being contacted by police, Luper returned to the vicinity of the storage facility. “She was unable to explain” Vaccaro’s injuries, noted police, who added that she “stated Vaccaro wanted to have sex with her.”​