First 9/11 themed movie

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simple

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Sep 30, 2004
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It has been brought to my attention that the first 9/11-themed movie is soon to be released. And no, this isn't some made-for-tv deal. This is gather the family, grab a tub of popcorn and settle your ass down for 90 minutes of theater high entertainment goodness.

link to trailer

To cope with our disgust, fly and I have decided to brainstorm some swell movie tie-ins to make the experience a fucking experience:

What movie is complete without a toyline tie-in:

- Foam Trade Center Towers, for fun (but safe!) swordfighting action.
- The complete New York City play set, with collapsable towers.
- Nightglow Flight 11, 175, 77, and 93 (with button-activated readings of select Qur'an verses)
- Book Readin' Dubya
- Megaphone Totin' Dubya
- Rock'em Sock'em Dubya vs. Osama

- The "Let's Roll" Happy Meal, with toy cell phones that play sounds of your loved ones crying.

Of course, the above would require a sleek marketing campaign that also speaks to the urban crowd, so all McDonald's will

- be outfitted with an inflatable Flight 93 that's crashing into the building
- display signs featuring the hijackers with a slogan of "yeah, we hate'em"

If fly’s up to it, maybe we can go to the opening night show in costume as the towers.

Anyone have anything they'd like to add?

I fucking hate Hollywood.
 
I have absolutely no interest in watching the trailer, or seeing the movie, but can tell you exactly how it will go down:

1) Rough neck cop who's marriage is on the ropes and having hard times goes into building after seeing the planes hit (which will be spectacularly digitally recreated with the "magic" of Hollywood) , saves a bunch of people, then will say something like "there could still be people up there" and goes back right before the place collapses, soft-hearted people will cry.

edit: 2) Heroic/rookie fireman will also go into the building and die in some tear-jerking fashion similiar to the cop. If the director is Ang Lee the cop/firemen will have a gay love/kissing scene before it all crashes down.

3) Some office worker (with I'm sure their own sad/coming around life story) is above the plane crash and can't get out. Will more than likely watch some people jump from the building and probably "talk someone out of it" before they die holding hands or something.

4) The Jihadists will be given an air of dignity and some solemn scene where they all pray together for strength so that the rest of the Muslim world isn't outraged by Hollywood's portrayal of them just getting on the plane, killing some people, and then crashing it into a buidling (which, if I remember right, is essentially what happened).

5) People will cry a lot and call it the best movie since Bareback Mountin' and it will make a lot of money, but not as much as anticipated, so the Liberals running the production company will blame violent video games and the internet for their lack of revenue.
 
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KNYTE said:
I have absolutely no interest in watching the trailer, or seeing the movie, but can tell you exactly how it will go down:

1) Rough neck cop who's marriage is on the ropes and having hard times goes into building after seeing the planes hit (which will be spectacularly digitally recreated with the "magic" of Hollywood) , saves a bunch of people, then will say something like "there could still be people up there" and goes back right before the place collapses, soft people will cry.

2) Some office worker (with I'm sure their own sad/coming around life story is above the plane crash and can't get out. Will more than likely watch some people jump from the building and probably "talk someone out of it" before they die holding hands or something.

3) The Jihadists will be given an air of dignity and some solemn scene where they all pray together for strength so that the rest of the Muslim world isn't outraged by Hollywood's portrayal of them just getting on the plane, killing some people, and then crashing it into a buidling (which, if I remember right, is essentially what happened).

4) People will cry a lot and call it the best movie since Bareback Mountin' and it will make a lot of money, but not as much as anticipated, so the Liberals running the production company will blame violent video games and the internet for their lack of revenue.
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right, it'll make everyone look confused, no one really looking hostile and more than likely religious beliefs will be at fault for everything, well that and Dubya
 
ChikkenNoodul said:
And for your kids the WTC Firefighter Responder Assortment, complete with helmet, coat, boots, air tank with mask, and lung-deflation kit to simulate effects of debris-induced lung cancer.
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don't forget about the adhesive and changeable images of gore and horror that stick to the inside of the helmet's visor - so it's like the kids were actually there!
 
KNYTE said:
I have absolutely no interest in watching the trailer, or seeing the movie, but can tell you exactly how it will go down:

1) Rough neck cop who's marriage is on the ropes and having hard times goes into building after seeing the planes hit (which will be spectacularly digitally recreated with the "magic" of Hollywood) , saves a bunch of people, then will say something like "there could still be people up there" and goes back right before the place collapses, soft-hearted people will cry.

edit: 2) Heroic/rookie fireman will also go into the building and die in some tear-jerking fashion similiar to the cop. If the director is Ang Lee the cop/firemen will have a gay love/kissing scene before it all crashes down.

3) Some office worker (with I'm sure their own sad/coming around life story) is above the plane crash and can't get out. Will more than likely watch some people jump from the building and probably "talk someone out of it" before they die holding hands or something.

4) The Jihadists will be given an air of dignity and some solemn scene where they all pray together for strength so that the rest of the Muslim world isn't outraged by Hollywood's portrayal of them just getting on the plane, killing some people, and then crashing it into a buidling (which, if I remember right, is essentially what happened).

5) People will cry a lot and call it the best movie since Bareback Mountin' and it will make a lot of money, but not as much as anticipated, so the Liberals running the production company will blame violent video games and the internet for their lack of revenue.
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I still love how 'Liberals' are so often invoked in popular American culture as the enemy within. :lol:

Those pesky Liberals, what WILL they do to infringe my future next?
 
Galen said:
I still love how 'Liberals' are so often invoked in popular American culture as the enemy within. :lol:

Those pesky Liberals, what WILL they do to infringe my future next?
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it goes both ways, Galen, if it were a democrat making the post it would have been 'those pesky Conservatives'
 
elpmis said:
it goes both ways, Galen, if it were a democrat making the post it would have been 'those pesky Conservatives'
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True, but... if something happens these days domestically, the reason for it is the Liberals. Liberals this, liberals that. It's stymying debate because they have come to be the universal enemy. That's exactly how Fox portrays it anyway. I would have thought certain regulars on this forum would have a little more sense.
 
ChikkenNoodul said:
I'm sure it means something completely different to you weirdo UK folks
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To a country that was founded on Liberalism, wouldn't an American Conservative be only really 'desiring' to conserve Liberalism? Wouldn't that make them -all- liberals?

Supporting laissez fair economics is a conservative stance too, according to some people I've talked to...

Perhaps people shouldn't be educated about ideology by a demagogue TV station.
 
Galen said:
True, but... if something happens these days domestically, the reason for it is the Liberals. Liberals this, liberals that. It's stymying debate because they have come to be the universal enemy. That's exactly how Fox portrays it anyway. I would have thought certain regulars on this forum would have a little more sense.
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Right, well Fox News is heavily leaning on the republican/right-wing/conservative side of the American politcal affiliation spectrum. MSNBC, and CNN are a tad bit more towards the left, as are many of the countries' best newspapers (New York Times, Washington Post, etc.) You'll see the hate both ways really, just so long as you're subjecting yourself to all media outlets evenly
 
elpmis said:
it goes both ways, Galen, if it were a democrat making the post it would have been 'those pesky Conservatives'
Click to expand...

Galen said:
That's exactly how Fox portrays it anyway.
Click to expand...

You are just validating what elpmis said, Fox is a Conservative network.

Edit: Yeah, what he said up there :D
 
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