Everytime I Have Juicy Sharts at Work

April23 said:
Some dude where I work has been wacking off in the bathroom and leaving it wherever. On the sink, floor, toilet seat, probably the mirror. The janitor guys were grossed out and someone caught him doing it...

... and he feels no shame. Funny because now I have to see him everyday. :fly:

So it has come to this:

There was a guy in my department at my last office who did this. At his desk. With other people in the room. He was finally caught by another technician. He was later confronted by the guy to busted him and was asked something along the lines of, "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" His reply was, "Well, I'd never been caught before."

<shudder>

So, the fire the guy. Next day I'm walking to my desk when I see the poor maintenance guy at the jerk-off's desk. He'd removed the chair, desk top, and carpet tiles from the cube, and he was busily spraying disinfectant over every other surface.

About the guy:

He was a fat, whiny, slobby piece of shit in his mid 20's. He never ever wanted to leave his desk. Whenever asked to do anything even remotely physical, like move a pc from one desk to another or unbox something, he would sulk and complain. I actually saw him throw a tandrum once after being asked to help image new machines. I guess all he wanted to do was man the helpdesk and jerk off.
He was married to a tall fat woman in her early 40's, and had a stepson only 10 years his junior. He would often complain about his total inability go get any respect from the child.
His name is Alex Coburn and he lives in Dundalk, Maryland. If you know him or ever meet him please make sure you laugh at him.
 
I worked at Walmart one summer during college and we had something like that happen. Some random guy came in and jacked off all over the platsic flowers in crafts. A few old ladies saw him. Then he started running thourgh the store with his pants around his ankles trying to hump random ladies in the store. The Walmart wasn't in the best neighborhood so there was always one or two undercover security officers. Really big guys. They beat the hell out of him until the cops showed up. I felt real sorry for the person that had the job of finding all the contaminated flowers. You know they missed a few and some old lady got one that she thought the glue was still wet on.
 
itburnswhenipee said:
So it has come to this:

There was a guy in my department at my last office who did this. At his desk. With other people in the room. He was finally caught by another technician. He was later confronted by the guy to busted him and was asked something along the lines of, "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" His reply was, "Well, I'd never been caught before."

<shudder>

So, the fire the guy. Next day I'm walking to my desk when I see the poor maintenance guy at the jerk-off's desk. He'd removed the chair, desk top, and carpet tiles from the cube, and he was busily spraying disinfectant over every other surface.

About the guy:

He was a fat, whiny, slobby piece of shit in his mid 20's. He never ever wanted to leave his desk. Whenever asked to do anything even remotely physical, like move a pc from one desk to another or unbox something, he would sulk and complain. I actually saw him throw a tandrum once after being asked to help image new machines. I guess all he wanted to do was man the helpdesk and jerk off.
He was married to a tall fat woman in her early 40's, and had a stepson only 10 years his junior. He would often complain about his total inability go get any respect from the child.
His name is Alex Coburn and he lives in Dundalk, Maryland. If you know him or ever meet him please make sure you laugh at him.

How much did he make? Where should I send my resume?
 
When I was in college (the first time) my two guy roommates, Crazy Dave & Billy, and I went to Waccamaw for some random home decorations. In the event you don't know, Waccamaw was a type of Bed Bath and Beyond of sorts.

Anyway, we were picking up accent shit for the condo: a cappucino maker, blender, columns, whatever and Billy just disappears. We didn't think too much of it, because we were all pretty much browsing anyway and thought he just got wrapped up in another section, given the size of the place.

Well, Crazy Dave and I decided that we'd had our fill and that it was time for a toddie. We scoured the friggin' place for Billy to no avail.

About 10 minutes later he just materialized from around a corner and we asked him where he had been. Now, mind you, Billy is a decent-looking, well-dressed kid who wants not for pussy. He told us he was looking around at stuff, saw a hot girl/woman and was checking her out when she bent over and let out a little grunt/moan. This, evidently, gave Billy a chubby so he had to go the mens' room to rough up the suspect.

The end.

Here's a bum pic to add to the collection:
crazydrunkguy.jpg
 
KNYTE said:
:rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex: :rex:
 
April23 said:
Some dude where I work has been wacking off in the bathroom and leaving it wherever. On the sink, floor, toilet seat, probably the mirror. The janitor guys were grossed out and someone caught him doing it...

... and he feels no shame. Funny because now I have to see him everyday. :fly:

OMG cant you get fired for that? It's so... UNSANITARY. Not to mention creepy, and wierd.