Employee of the month, with a twist..

zengirl

If I had a dollar might give ya 99
Oct 15, 2004
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..ed neck hopefully. Now, everybody thinks they work with nutjobs, and everybody has their story of that guy in the office who farts by the water cooler and giggles to himself with glee...

Today's contestant is a 74 year old Jewish woman who should have retired 20 years ago. She's a multi millionaire widow who wouldn't lend an ear to a sobbing child on the street... in fact, she orders office supplies from the office and takes them home, and lives in a tiny one bedroom apartment by herself because the rent was cheaper than her property tax. :tard:

Case in point, today I get a very nasaly and very snooty request for rubber bands, now we have rubber bands and I say such, to which I receive a very insulted, "WHERE?" like I just kicked her puppy or something... I say, "Shari, we have rubber bands upstairs in the office supply cabinet" then she demands, "SHOW ME" O. M. G. Like i have nothing better to do today than take a 74 year old woman by the hand and point out the rubber bands in the closet. But, being the good worker bee, I do it anyway. I retrieve the box of rubber bands from the cabinet, and I place them on her desk. "WHAT'S THIS?" she screeches indignantly. "Rubber bands" I say in a defeated tone.

"THESE ARE THE THICK ONES, I NEED THE THIN ONES" she demands. At this point I'm bashing my head against the wall, "Shari, why do you need the thin ones?" "FOR STUFF"... that's it.. that's her answer... she needs them FOR STUFF. Her thick rubber bands won't suffice FOR STUFF and she needs a special box of thin rubber bands just FOR STUFF.

I turned around and walked away. Guess who isn't getting her rubber bands today? :tard:

I nominate Shari for Employee I would most like to strangle of the Month.

Your turn.
 
No employees...and no real bad stories...I had a client call me today though and I laughed:

The client is Cliff. He owns a music store in Arizona. He signed up to do an e-mail advertising for us which I designed. Apparently the account executive sent him the wrong file and Cliff can't see the images...so he leaves a voicemail on my phone at like...10:00pm last night:

"This.................is....................Cliff.............. ..........with............ B..........Music ..............there's................a............prob........lem ..................with.................the.................des........ig..............n. ..............I ..................can't...............see....see.................see.......the images.... .... Please..............call............me...........at .......... 564654856a4564!!!!"

The guy talked like he had a mental illness for the entire message EXCEPT for his phone number which he said SO fast I can't even decipher it after listening to it 4 times.
 
The dum dums at reception keep transfering my calls to Mike. I wasn't freaking here this morning and someone called for me... so rather than putting it in my voicemail they transfered it to HIM.. :lol: What the hell is he supposed to do with my calls?

I was intentionally avoiding one call yesterday, and was waiting for it to go to voicemail, but the little brat at reception kept picking the call up just before it went to my mailbox and re-transfering it to me, she did this like 5 or 6 times so my phone was ringing non stop for 4 minutes.

If I've told them once I've told them a thousand times to NOT pick up my calls when they're ringing my line.
 
Millions said:
No employees...and no real bad stories...I had a client call me today though and I laughed:

The client is Cliff. He owns a music store in Arizona. He signed up to do an e-mail advertising for us which I designed. Apparently the account executive sent him the wrong file and Cliff can't see the images...so he leaves a voicemail on my phone at like...10:00pm last night:

"This.................is....................Cliff.............. ..........with............ B..........Music ..............there's................a............prob........lem ..................with.................the.................des........ig..............n. ..............I ..................can't...............see....see.................see.......the images.... .... Please..............call............me...........at .......... 564654856a4564!!!!"

The guy talked like he had a mental illness for the entire message EXCEPT for his phone number which he said SO fast I can't even decipher it after listening to it 4 times.


And you recorded it, right?


Right?

Link to the mp3 that you RECORDED??
 
Desslock said:
No one bothers me at work. They're too afraid I'm going to beat the shit out of them.
My boss always gets me angry intentionally and then asks me to write memos. She says I write better memos when I'm "pissed off" :fly:
 
KNYTE said:
"What do you mean the desktop computers aren't on a battery backup???" is all I have to say.
Right before the Y2K culmination, "key" support people (myself included) had their cubicles wired to the generator on the roof "just in case" :fly:

I moved cubicles, but all the wiring is still there on the other ones, though I imagine it's been cut by now
 
KNYTE said:
"What do you mean the desktop computers aren't on a battery backup???" is all I have to say.
The president of the company JUST came down to me, handed me a cell phone and said, "I got my car phone replaced with this. The guy at the dealership gave me this phone and said all I had to do was have it activated, can you take care of it?"

No box, no manual, nothing, just a phone.

I said, "Who's the service provider?" He says, "Don't you take care of all of that?"

:tard:
 
zengirl said:
The president of the company JUST came down to me, handed me a cell phone and said, "I got my car phone replaced with this. The guy at the dealership gave me this phone and said all I had to do was have it activated, can you take care of it?"

No box, no manual, nothing, just a phone.

I said, "Who's the service provider?" He says, "Don't you take care of all of that?"

:tard:


I hope you make $700,000 a year, because that's what it would take for me to put up with the sheer amount of mental fucktardedness that occurs at your job.
 
Sarcasmo said:
I hope you make $700,000 a year, because that's what it would take for me to put up with the sheer amount of mental fucktardedness that occurs at your job.
:lol:

I get a $2k bonus at the end of the year, plus they pay my $90 cell phone bill every month plus I get a $225 auto reimbursement every month, and free lunches, and lots of other little perks... and I work whatever hours I want so long as I put in my 35 hours per week. :cool:

Theres only a few people here who really irritate me, most of the stuff is just funny. ;)
 
Just upgraded a PC. Deleted some old icons for a user (she had new icons for the new version of the program.)

"OH MY GOD. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I NEED THOSE ICONS RIGHT THERE!!!!"

"You have them, these are the old versions."

"Oh, okay then. . . . . .OH MY GOD. WHAT ARE YOU DELETEING OUTLOOK FOR?"

"It's an old icon, you have the new one here." *points to screen*

"Oh, okay then. . . . . .OH MY GOD. WHAT ARE YOU DELETEING RUMBA FOR?"

"It's an old icon, you have the new one here." *points to screen*

This continued about 5 more times. The EXACT same dialogue EVERY time.
 
fly said:
Just upgraded a PC. Deleted some old icons for a user (she had new icons for the new version of the program.)

"OH MY GOD. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I NEED THOSE ICONS RIGHT THERE!!!!"

"You have them, these are the old versions."

"Oh, okay then. . . . . .OH MY GOD. WHAT ARE YOU DELETEING OUTLOOK FOR?"

"It's an old icon, you have the new one here." *points to screen*

"Oh, okay then. . . . . .OH MY GOD. WHAT ARE YOU DELETEING RUMBA FOR?"

"It's an old icon, you have the new one here." *points to screen*

This continued about 5 more times. The EXACT same dialogue EVERY time.

You should have just done the whole Dr. Evil "Zip it" routine.