Employee of the month, with a twist..

Oh I had a great call today... not really an employee, but further proof that people are morons

"Thank you for calling ***** this is Candice speaking how may I help you?"
(I work for a bank)

"Yeah I haven't paid my taxes for a few years and if I dont pay them by tomorrow they are gunna take my trailer"

"Ok sir, how much do you need?"

"125K"

.........................

"ma'am?"

......................

"hello?"

Sorry sir, I was laughing my ass off at you

"Sorry about that, so you are looking to increase your $500 credit limit to $125,000 to pay your taxes? Yeah I'm not gunna be able to do that for you"

*hang up*

Fuck people are stupid.
If there is anything I have learned from this job, is PAY YOUR BILLS!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Millions said:
No employees...and no real bad stories...I had a client call me today though and I laughed:

The client is Cliff. He owns a music store in Arizona. He signed up to do an e-mail advertising for us which I designed. Apparently the account executive sent him the wrong file and Cliff can't see the images...so he leaves a voicemail on my phone at like...10:00pm last night:

"This.................is....................Cliff.............. ..........with............ B..........Music ..............there's................a............prob........lem ..................with.................the.................des........ig..............n. ..............I ..................can't...............see....see.................see.......the images.... .... Please..............call............me...........at .......... 564654856a4564!!!!"

The guy talked like he had a mental illness for the entire message EXCEPT for his phone number which he said SO fast I can't even decipher it after listening to it 4 times.

i got a call like that once from a girl i must have given my number too. my voicemail message is weird so they must not have been very confident about having reached my house. so they talk really slow then BURN through the number. after multiple attempts to decipher it and give her a call back i was never able to. too bad. she probably thinks i'm a dick.

as for work related stuff, we get some weird clients sometimes. we were designing a house for one person, and the plans were basically finished, ready for construction. then, at the last minute, they have a dream that they're going to end up in a wheelchair so they have us redesign the ENTIRE HOUSE for wheelchair access. it basically meant starting from scratch.
 
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Got another one...

...we hired a new sales guy who is...well he's a perv. I'm sitting here working on an ad for physical therapy, browsing a clipart site...a lot of times the clipart sites will have some tastefull semi-nude pics on them. No nipples or anything but occasionally you'll see a butt. Anyways, there's several thumbnails of stuff like that on my screen...he walks by and says "whoa let me look"...and not in a funny, casual way...but in a 'I'm on the way to the bathroom and need some jerking material'.

The guy is d*mn near drooling over the screen, mumbling to himself "oh look at her..." and then he reaches out to run his fingers over a partially naked butt on my screen. Of course, I'm not standing for this sh*t and I tell him to get his hands off the monitor. Everytime he sees a Weight Watchers ad with an exposed belly button showing, he's honking the air with his hands and running his fingers over it.

Now I'm a perv and all, but I'm not a creepy perv...nor am I any sort of perv at the office. But these people who get hot over frickin' stock photo clipart and internet ads scare the hell out of me.

Cliffs:
1.) New sales guy.
2.) He's a perv.
3.) He gets off on slightly bare flesh on the internet.
4.) He rubs his hands over the screen when he sees it.
5.) It creeps me the fuck out.