Egg on my face: v. useless jaxxor story

J

jaxxor

Guest
on a bright Saturday morning sometime in spring of 01 my grandparents called me and asked me to come over. some friends of theirs were visiting, and they wanted me to meet their daughter, who was a couple years younger than me and in college. I headed over, mostly because they had biscuits and gravy cooking for brunch.

so the visit went well enough, polite chit chat and whatnot. We went back to the gameroom to play pool, and in the course of doing that we found a golf club. I was kind of feeling like showing off, and they were bored, so we headed outside so I could hit things with the driver.

pinecones were ok, but they didn't go very far, and rocks were a bad idea. we walked down to my grandparent's duck pond, and there It happened. I found a pile of goose eggs lying under a paddle boat, and got an Idea.

I tee'd up, squared my shoulders, dropped my chin, and swung like Tiger Woods. Had I been hitting a real ball it would have undoubtedly been a 300 yard drive. As it was, the egg simply exploded, and in bizarre defiance of the laws of physics coated every fucking surface of my person.

I stood there in shock, the silence broken only by egg dripping from my frame. The girls stood mute witness to the scene, then slowly begin to giggle. Words are incapable of describing the hilarity that followed me as I retreated to my home. I could still hear the laughter as I scrubbed bits of shell from my hair in the shower, and their tears of laughter still appear before me whenever I pick up a golf club.
 
S

smileynev

Guest
So, what happened with the college chick?

And how old are you if she was in college in 01 and you were older then her back then?
 

APRIL

Feel Free to Pee on Me
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Theres a golf course over here, Jack. Let's do a recreation and I'll get it on video.
 
J

jaxxor

Guest
smileynev said:
So, what happened with the college chick?

And how old are you if she was in college in 01 and you were older then her back then?

Oh, I never saw them again. I think she was 19 and I was 21. I had no intention of hooking up with her or anything, just wanted attention.
 
S

smileynev

Guest
jaxxor said:
Oh, I never saw them again. I think she was 19 and I was 21. I had no intention of hooking up with her or anything, just wanted attention.

ahhhh. Yer just mature for your age.
 
J

jaxxor

Guest
BigDov said:
But were the biscuits and gravy any good?

they were excellent.

Monday I will tell you all the story of how I slammed my dick in a trashcan lid, and later nearly broke my jaw on New Year's Day.
 

APRIL

Feel Free to Pee on Me
Sep 30, 2004
103,104
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jaxxor said:
they were excellent.

Monday I will tell you all the story of how I slammed my dick in a trashcan lid, and later nearly broke my jaw on New Year's Day.


What about that story where you almost ate penis sober?
 
J

jaxxor

Guest
April23 said:
What about that story where you almost ate penis sober?

you made that up.


I wish I had some skills, I'd make some MS Paint drawings to go with these tales.
 

APRIL

Feel Free to Pee on Me
Sep 30, 2004
103,104
37,780
1,823
Houston
jaxxor said:
you made that up.


I wish I had some skills, I'd make some MS Paint drawings to go with these tales.


No I'm serious, while you were at Ashleys house.


You wish you had some skills like bowhunting or something?