Drool.... ? You work at Sun now?


Erect Member
Oct 14, 2004
close to Seattle
I know you've been a bored and disgruntled husk of your former angry self lately, but I was quite shocked to learn you got a job at Sun..... and it seems that you've really got a sensitive and caring side to you.


And an assumed name of Eddie Bontado :fly: fgt

What really surprised me was the article on the internal webpage..... and the contest that you Eddie Bontado, aka Drool was kicking off.


Enter First Employee Haiku Contest

By Eddie Bontado
Editor, Weekly World Sun

BARSTOW, Calif. - Hey, geeks, I'm back. And guess what? The Remedial Sensitivity Training dudes did a study on my skull and decided my habit of putting you pencil-necks in marathon headlocks might have something to do with plunging subscription rates at my newspaper, the Weekly World Sun.

Determined to get everybody off my back -- and to get you propeller heads interested in my rag -- I decided it was time for a.... Sun employee haiku contest?

Don't think a haiku contest sounds like me? I didn't, either. But ever since the Sensitivity Training, I get introspective once in a while, at which times I park my motor scooter down by the flood-control ditch and scribble some haiku. My parole officer says it might learn me to express my feelings without incident.

One reason I dig haiku is because there aren't many rules and, best of all, you only have to write a few words and you're done. Short and sweet, just like my formal education. Check out these contest rules:

* Haiku is only three lines.
* The first line is five syllables.
* The second line is seven syllables.
* The last line is back to five syllables.
* No rhyming is required.
* For this contest you also have to mention one of the four seasons (I'm coming after the first joker that uses "Frankie Valle.") Oh, yeah: it can be in the title if you latte-sippers can't work it into the verse.
* Secret tip: Funny is good. Don't go gettin' all mushy on me, dudes. I might be sensitive now, but it's not like you're gonna find me weeping gently during a Meryl Streep movie.

To get an idea of what I'm talking about, check out something I wrote:

Winter brought jail time
But with Spring came a new job
Weekly World Sun Rocks

Think you can do better? Give it a shot. If you're a winner, you'll get a certificate and have your entry featured on SunWeb. (Don't complain about the prizes. It was either this or a coupon for 50 percent off the Salisbury steak dinner at my Lardbucket Buffet & Lounge in Barstow.)

Haiku Categories: About Sun Culture, About an EMG Member, About Sun Products, About Revenue, About Innovation, Celebrating Bill Vass, About Me, Eddie Bontado.

So don't wait, fellow Geek-o-meisters. Use the high-tech feedback thing in the upper right-hand corner of this page for your entries. Enter as many categories as you want; just make sure you include your email address with your entries.... And yeah, yeah, you have to be a Sun employee to enter. And you have to get your haikus done by June 2. And yep, I get to pick the winners, so don't pull any of that politically-correct-let's-have-a-steering committee-to-decide stuff. It's my contest, so I pick the winners.

Got a problem with that, Sunnies?

For proof, I submit the pic..... that one damning piece of evidence: