Ontopic Dorys thread of Meandering Nonsense

Dory

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Day 40

Lockdown disagreements

Are all centaurs male
I never seen a half horse, horse man female
Might have long locks
But I've never seen such a creature wearing a frock
Dunno how they reproduce, no
But I can tell you what I do know
I never did see a centaurs with tits
Not examined all their bits
But I never seen one with a clit
And I know not all women have long hair
And not all of them have genitals down there
But I'm telling you dude
I never seen a woman centaur
I don't think they're out there

Roast potatoes are definitely not squares
I don't know why you put them in that tray
Little cubes of carb
Should be large and rotund
Like a big fat arse
You can put in as much oil in as you like
But they're not salty good roasties
When you cut em small burn em like toasties

I'm not harping on about labour exploitation
You're just complacent about capitalism While I'm stuck with you in isolation
I might be an irritant
But I'm gonna keep being persistent
Cos Trussell was right and you're wrong
And I can back and forth about it all night long

I'm bloody right and I know it
No point disagreeing with me
You said there was only male dwarves
Because of your Tolkien lore
But then I point out Terry Pratchett
And tied you in knot, proper hatchet
Job on you my dear
Ain't no arguing with me I fear
Because I'll rebut and not back down
From these silly debates
Do you know this is your soon to be married life long fate?

You can try and out nerd me
And you can get Facebook up in arms
But in the end I'm right, better admit
It'll be a lot less mental harm
Than carrying on with me when I had a beer
Or three, or four, and we have a difference of opinion
Don't you know you're my little lovely minion?
I love you very much
But I never seen a centaurs with tits
And dwarves can have vaginas
Sometimes you're like them flat earthers
Doubling up on fake news
We can talk about it or you can relent
And accept I'm giving you my two cents
 
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Dory

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Day 41.

Fuck off.

Day forty fucking one
May the fucking fourth
Feeling like a sith lord
Want to cut off heads with a sword

I've given up today
So fuck off
Fuck you
Fuck this shit
Sick of living in this fucking pit
Down in the dumps
Too scared to leave the front door
Airs polluted out there

Phones fucking ringng
Messenger never stops pinging
Want to break off
Put it all on silent
Let the batteries die
So I can get some fucking shut eye
All this fucking tech
Is messing with my head
Too much information to process
So fuck off the lotta yas

No offense of course
Wish I could have delicate discourse
But all I can say right now is fuck off
Give me a cabin and some books
Let me run into the fucking woods
Cos I've got a fucking fever
And it's coming out like a rash
Of f bombs and writing trash

Because if I'm not angry I'll be sad
Then the tears will come
And that's just as fucking bad
So please leave me alone
I want to hug you
I feel so shit on my own
But fuck off everyone
While I wait for morning to come
 

Immigrant

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Day 41.

Fuck off.

Day forty fucking one
May the fucking fourth
Feeling like a sith lord
Want to cut off heads with a sword

I've given up today
So fuck off
Fuck you
Fuck this shit
Sick of living in this fucking pit
Down in the dumps
Too scared to leave the front door
Airs polluted out there

Phones fucking ringng
Messenger never stops pinging
Want to break off
Put it all on silent
Let the batteries die
So I can get some fucking shut eye
All this fucking tech
Is messing with my head
Too much information to process
So fuck off the lotta yas

No offense of course
Wish I could have delicate discourse
But all I can say right now is fuck off
Give me a cabin and some books
Let me run into the fucking woods
Cos I've got a fucking fever
And it's coming out like a rash
Of f bombs and writing trash

Because if I'm not angry I'll be sad
Then the tears will come
And that's just as fucking bad
So please leave me alone
I want to hug you
I feel so shit on my own
But fuck off everyone
While I wait for morning to come
Best one yet

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Dory

Dory Two Times
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Day 42. Inspired by my favourite boy.

You can be a unicorn too!

A boy can be a unicorn
And a girl can play french horn
Or neither of the above
Or neither gender for that matter
I hope your mind doesn't shatter
But gender isn't really a thing
And soldiers arent for humans with dicks
And pink isn't for people with slits

If you want to wear your hair long
Well I'm down for it
And if you're being your most fabulous self
Well good for you, you've nothing to prove
Shave it off, buzz cut
Who gives a fuck about your look
Believe in magic and rainbows
And celebrate the way you hair blows
In the air like the taste of freedom
Riding your pony to equestria
Don't let anybody test ya

About the things you like and love
There's no rules about binary choice
Or having preference and a voice
A boy in a sequenced dress
A drag queen looking their best
They with a hairy legs and chest
Not giving a flying fuck about the rest

So go on JJ, claim Twilight Sparkle
I mean, Rainbow Dash is my fave
But you're allowed to disagree, babe
I'll love you regardless
You wonderful little person
Please ask your daddy to learn all about friendship
It's magic and I can guarantee he'll see that as a test
I think he'll probably pass though
He's good like that you know

You don't have to love Batman anymore
Catwoman, Wonderwoman or Pussy Galore
You can know that kindness conquers all
And that courage saves the day
Not men in capes or green hulks
But unicorns and cupcakes
Make no mistakes
You're one of a kind
So off to Equestria!
Go meet Princess Celestia
Go get out your rucksack
And love Luna to the moon and back

Maybe you won't be a carpenter, a woodchuck
Or a lumberjack
You might not cook a mean steak
Instead you might learn to bake
Embrace your inner pinkie pie
You're safe in a place you don't have to lie
About loving ponies and enjoying yourself
So rest easy lovely boy
And hold close to your pony toy
 

Dory

Dory Two Times
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Day 43.

Dax

Cheeto smelling little paws
Like dorito claws
Soft fuzzy fur
Little yips and purrs
Spotted eyes like pirates
Baby little collars, one in violet
Oh baby puppy boy
I can't wait to meet you
I'm bursting with joy
About our future
You being a part of the family furniture
Although hopefully not chewing it altogether
Got to teach you all the tricks
Like sit, stay and not to lick
Waiting for your food
Feeding you up with tasty dinners
Doing laps round the park for afters
Your wet nose and your evolving bark
I can't wait to take you down the park
I'm in love with you already
But there's no hurry
I'll leave you with your mummy
Until you're ready to come running
Bounding up with your young energy
To be my new best friend
To go on adventures
Explore the world
Rule your new house and garden
Like a guardian
Long hair to stroke and brush
I wonder if you'll like rolling in muck
I'll make sure it comes unstuck
I'll give you my heart if you'll give me yours
You sweet, beautiful little puppy boy
 
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Dory

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Day 48 in lockdown. I took some days off. Whatever.

Shame

Hiding under blankets
Sobbing wreck
Don't want to be a mess
Try as I might
There's always some fight
Some burst of manic
The next day. The panic.

The shame hole
All consuming
A mark on my soul
A feeling of dirt
Can't cleanse it
Inside my veins
Deep inside the skeletal cavity
Emotionally broken
Quite clear. There's brevity

An image of a needle and an end
To disappear and be nowhere
No more questions not more yeses
No more pressures
On my knees
Dragging my legs behind
Struggling on
Hoping no one will find
Me in my shame hole
And sit there with me
While I sob and break
For every tiny mistake
When all I did was try to please
To be the best person
To try and make everyone believe
That everything is okay
I'm okay. I'm okay.
I can do it alone
I can handle it on my own

Down here in my shame hole
Where nobody guesses the password
I'm too far gone
If you shout you can't get heard
I won't let you in
Because you might hate me
When you see inside
The unforgiving
The unrelenting
The unrepenting
The humanness
The not caringness
The unpleasantness
The deviance
The no niceties
The no polite's

Here in the pit of shame
Swallowed by unnamable pain
Crushed by vulnerability
Because of all my inability
To be better
Than the best I try to be
I just wish you could see
And accept me for me
But I know that could never be true
Fairy tales aren't true
But horror movies are
And life is the latter
Don't worry or fretter
I'll be here tomorrow
The shame will be back in its box
The one I say I forgot
Somewhere behind misery and mean
Way back on the shelves
Dusty, a place I never delve
The cupboard that's locked
Because when I find the key
I can't face the real me
 

Dory

Dory Two Times
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Day 49.

Gains

Today I showered
I moisturised
I probably did my teeth too

Today I got dressed
In blue trousers
And a nice top

I started work on time
I managed to laugh
I wrote a bunch of emails
Drive round and chatted
To some lovely females

Today I watered my garden
Watched the gladioli grow
Day by day coming up
Waiting for bulbs to surface
For flowers to bloom

Today I was quiet
I tried to calm it
And I let myself sit
For just a tiny bit

Today I tried to be kind
To others
But also keeping me in mind
 
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OOD

Yet ANOTHER ! Beautiful Bearded Rashner
Apr 16, 2016
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Day 49.

Gains

Today I showered
I moisturised
I probably did my teeth too

Today I got dressed
In blue trousers
And a nice top

I started work on time
I managed to laugh
I wrote a bunch of emails
Drive round and chatted
To some lovely females

Today I watered my garden
Watched the gladioli grow
Day by day coming up
Waiting for bulbs to surface
For flowers to bloom

Today I was quiet
I tried to calm it
And I let myself sit
For just a tiny bit

Today I tried to be kind
To others
But also keeping me in mind
What a day full of accomplishments!
 

Dory

Dory Two Times
Oct 15, 2004
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Day 50

Cancelled

2020 is the year of being cancelled
Pink dress gathering dust
Waiting for catastrophe to settle
Refunds coming back
But I'm not awfully glad
I didn't predict this would happen
That there would be no parties
No social gathering

As Plan A fails and we move from B to C
Everything is on hold til we can be free
To meet again
To dance and drink
I can barely think
Beyond tomorrow or next week
Nevermind about events
My energy is daily spent

The music stops outdoors
And inside we huddle
With nowhere to go and life on hold
Future cancelled, no stories to be told
About how we had a special day
A great celebration with friends
And came back to the UK
With rings on our hands

No more confetti
No more carefree
While life is paused
We can't go abroad
But every day still happens
Even though everything gets cancelled
And the year is a shitshow
Getting worse the longer we go

But maybe in 2021
We'll come out in the sun
As different people with other plans
Less selfish
Making less demands
So maybe it's a good idea
That the world stops on its axis
So we can reflect
And plan for what is next