Thread Dirty Limericks

[Moonraker069]

I was buggering a lady from Brighton
And exclaimed, "My you're a tight one!"
"Upon my soul, you're in the wrong hole.
You'll find much more room in the right one!"


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Moonraker069]

There once was a man from Nantucket,
Whose dick was so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin,
"If my ear were a cunt I would fuck it."


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[thintoast]

@APRIL and @fly sitting in a tree
H-I-S-S-I-N-G
First comes love
then comes marriage
Then comes a kitten in a kitten carriage.

 

[Strings]

There once was an artist named Saint,
Who swallowed some samples of paint.
All shades of the spectrum
Flowed out of his rectum
With a colorful lack of restraint.

 

[Mean Mr. Mustard]

There once was a hermit named Dave
Who kept a dead whore in his cave
She was slimy as shit
And was missing one tit
But think of the money he'd save!

Reminds me of the McCarthy novel Child of God

 

[Moonraker069]

There once was a lady from New Zealand who had a peculiar feeling.
She laid on her back
And tickled her crack
And pissed all over the ceiling.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[APRIL]

@APRIL and @fly sitting in a tree
H-I-S-S-I-N-G
First comes love
then comes marriage
Then comes a kitten in a kitten carriage.

Worst dirty limerick ever.

 

[APRIL]

There once was a lady from New Zealand who had a peculiar feeling.
She laid on her back
And tickled her crack
And pissed all over the ceiling.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

how's that Hunaphu?

 

[pacojas]

more limericks, please! i'm sooo close right now,.. hurry!

 

[Moonraker069]

how's that Hunaphu?

It's bring out my poetic side obviously.

 

[Moonraker069]

Did you just try to rhyme Iraq and cock?

Maybe your white trash ass thought it was where Camaros came from and pronounced it like that?

Technically, Iraq is pronounced like "I rock" and not "I rack". So yes... The rhyme is very appropriate.

 

[pacojas]

Technically, Iraq is pronounced like "I rock" and not "I rack". So yes... The rhyme is very appropriate.

but in Canada they say "cack"!

 

[Mr. Argumentor]

Technically, Iraq is pronounced like "I rock" and not "I rack". So yes... The rhyme is very appropriate.

Long e sound and (depending on locale) rolling the R a little would be correct, it throws the scansion off from rhyming with cock.

 

[thintoast]

Worst dirty limerick ever.

I don't vocabulary very good.

 

[Darth Handsome]

I can make you go away right now.

That red banner under his name is a nice touch.

 

[Titus Crow]

This thread is so fucking gay
This thread is so fucking gay
It's so fucking gay
It's so fucking gay
This thread is so fucking gay

 

[nukes]

This thread is so fucking gay
This thread is so fucking gay
It's so fucking gay
It's so fucking gay
This thread is so fucking gay

There once was a teacher from Brittain,
With "the man with no name" he was smitten.
They'd pull out their guns,
Proceed to have fun,
and blow their loads while they were shittin.

 

[Mean Mr. Mustard]

and blow their loads while they were shittin.

Also referred to as a "blumpkin".

 

[nukes]

Also referred to as a "blumpkin".

Didn't rhyme.
One must work within the parameters of limerick science.

 

[Mean Mr. Mustard]

I just wanted to say 'blumpkin" is all