I'm trying real hard to understand what you mean with this post. Honestly.
We always make fun of you, whether it's because you are an easy target or because we like picking on you. Much more of a challenge and something different is to pick in kiwi. Kiwi because no one ever picks on her because there is nothing to pick on her about, she's amazing. I called her an annoying, useless, pathetic, black-hearted neanderthal as a joke. It's a mechanism called sarcasm. She is not any of those things. It was a taunt to be ironic.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/sarcasm
And as to the last part, I would love to woo her but she has a short man she is married to and three little kids to take care of, keeping our undying lust for each other unfulfillable.