Dear Santa,

wr3kt

Flaccid Member
Oct 15, 2004
4,099
0
0
Dear Santa,
If you really watch everything we do, you're really a sick bastard. But that's beside the point. I know you know about that time I went to the bar and made out with that chick with the deep voice. I just thought it was sexy and she looked pretty healthy too. Well...you know how one thing led to another...back at my place...clothes coming off....yadda yadda...and then "she" whipped it out before I could. Well...you know how I passed out, right? Well...the next morning...I itched in a bad place...ok...actually it burned like lemon juice on a fresh paper cut.
All I want for christmas is for it to stop.

Please god make it stop,
Me





P.S.
Actually...just dispatch a lethal force of elves to kill me. It'll just make everyone happier.
 

APRIL

Feel Free to Pee on Me
Sep 30, 2004
103,114
37,793
1,823
Houston
theacoustician said:
She has had quite enough spent on her already and she knows this.
It's not the money you spend theac, its the love and thought you put into it.


True story.


fag.
 

theacoustician

Flaccid Member
Sep 30, 2004
12,781
4
0
April23 said:
It's not the money you spend theac, its the love and thought you put into it.


True story.


fag.
She is already wearing the love and thought I put into her Christmas.
 
I

ieholly

Guest
dear santa,

i really want a new "r" key for my hp pavilion ze5400 laptop. its getting really tidious hitting the little rubber nub everytime i want to type in an "r". i also want another kitty, a bunny, a new pair of shoes, and lots more sex.

thanks
<3
h

p.s. and world peace.
 

theacoustician

Flaccid Member
Sep 30, 2004
12,781
4
0
ieholly said:
dear santa,

i really want a new "r" key for my hp pavilion ze5400 laptop. its getting really tidious hitting the little rubber nub everytime i want to type in an "r". i also want another kitty, a bunny, a new pair of shoes, and lots more sex.

thanks
<3
h

p.s. and world peace.
You want sex from Santa? Freak.
 

APRIL

Feel Free to Pee on Me
Sep 30, 2004
103,114
37,793
1,823
Houston
Dear Santa,

I would really enjoy it if you had R. Kelly spend the night in my room. I get scared at night and need someone to ward off the boogie man. Also, if its okay with him... can I blame him for peeing in my bed when my parents ask? He pees on me anyways.

Yours,
Me
 

BigDov

Erect Member
Oct 14, 2004
9,646
3
41
50
close to Seattle
Dear Santa,

I know that you look down on us hippy Oregonians most of the time, but you know what you old fat bastard, we still put the milk and cookies out for you, and dammit, it's just not going to be the same without you in Sheepville this Christmas. Please see fit to swing by and enjoy a cookie or two, and if the wife and I aren't chasing each other around the house in our bubblewrap jammies, please deliver to me a LotR: RotK EE dvd and for my wife, whatever it was she asked me for a couple months ago- hopefully you caught what it was, cause I sure as shit forgot.

Your pal always,
Little Johnny