Dear Santa,

theacoustician

Flaccid Member
Sep 30, 2004
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NeedMoreEmo said:
I'm gonna order your present(s) today, hope they get there in time. Sorry it's nothing you put on your list. :heart:
When you get your present (which will be before Christmas), don't read the customs label. It'll spoil the surprise.
 

simple

Giant Member
Sep 30, 2004
12,258
14
533
^_^
GREETINGS ONE SAINT NICK

<STOP>

MY NAME IS BRAUNSHAN MIDDLEWORTH

<STOP>

I AM REQUESTING A ONE POUND BAG OF DRY MEAL TO REMEDY THE COLD WINTER NIGHTS

<STOP>

LOOK LIVELY

<STOP>

BRAUNSHAN MIDDLEWORTH
 

APRIL

Feel Free to Pee on Me
Sep 30, 2004
103,114
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Houston
Pancake Wagon said:
Bullshit. You would save the elves, eat the reindeer, eat the elves, then eat the children.
I was trying to keep it PG-13 in here. :fly:
 

fly

Osharts 11
Oct 1, 2004
71,427
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mattressfish
elpmis said:
Hey Santa, you stupid fat fuck. I have kidnapped ever last one of your shitty little bitch elves and have randomly tied them up in the basements of various houses you will visit the night of Christmas Eve. Just kidding, fucker; I surgically inserted each elf into the assholes of your reindeer, far up enough that the only way to save each elf's life is to kill Dasher, or Dancer, etc. So now you jolly fat fuck, you must decide; will you let your toy designers suffocate, or perhaps you will slaughter your mode of transportation? Or is one useless without the other and you'll just abandon both? Regardless, Merry Christmas, whore face.

Yours truly,
Kyle
OMG FUN-SAW!!!
 
S

smileynev

Guest
elpmis said:
GREETINGS ONE SAINT NICK

<STOP>

MY NAME IS BRAUNSHAN MIDDLEWORTH

<STOP>

I AM REQUESTING A ONE POUND BAG OF DRY MEAL TO REMEDY THE COLD WINTER NIGHTS

<STOP>

LOOK LIVELY

<STOP>

BRAUNSHAN MIDDLEWORTH
Internet forums would be a lot more fun if we were still using the telegraph.
 

Dory Berkowitz-Bukowski

Ready for some Heroin
Oct 15, 2004
40,802
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Robin Hood Country
theacoustician said:
When you get your present (which will be before Christmas), don't read the customs label. It'll spoil the surprise.

I'll rip open the box with my teeth while my eyes are closed.

I'm ordering your present direct from the site to your house, it's a US company anyway. :)
 

theacoustician

Flaccid Member
Sep 30, 2004
12,781
4
0
Dear Santa,
I think I will need glasses for Christmas. I saw you and mommy wrestling on the couch last night. I think after seeing you and mommy naked, I have been struck blind. Also, why did it smell like whiskey and that stuff daddy puts on the thermometer when he takes my temperature?

Sincerely,
Nevin
 
Last edited:
Dear Santy Claus,

I cleaned up the mess you made last year, you know the dead naked ladies in the basement and the bloodstains on dad's chainsaw and the kaka smeared all over our tree. I hope I've been a good boy this year, I made my very own dead naked lady for you, I left her with the cookies in their usual spot. They're special cookies this year, they taste like almonds but they're not, it's cool. Well I have to go now, something in the house is starting to smell pretty bad.

Bye,

Twicky
 

Desslock

Giant Member
Oct 14, 2004
3,047
1
482
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MD
Dear Santa

If you come into my house I will cap yo cracka ass. I will also barbecue your reindeer.
Fuck you very much.

Sincerely,
Desslock :desslock:
 

Dory Berkowitz-Bukowski

Ready for some Heroin
Oct 15, 2004
40,802
5,857
723
Robin Hood Country
theacoustician said:
Dear Santa,
I think I will need glasses for Christmas. I saw you and mommy wrestling on the couch last night. I think after seeing you and mommy naked, I have been struck blind. Also, why did it smell like whiskey and that stuff daddy puts on the thermometer when he takes my temperature?

Sincerely,
Nevin

:lol:
 

fly

Osharts 11
Oct 1, 2004
71,427
23,198
1,073
Steam
mattressfish
ChikkenNoodul said:
Dear Santy Claus,

I cleaned up the mess you made last year, you know the dead naked ladies in the basement and the bloodstains on dad's chainsaw and the kaka smeared all over our tree. I hope I've been a good boy this year, I made my very own dead naked lady for you, I left her with the cookies in their usual spot. They're special cookies this year, they taste like almonds but they're not, it's cool. Well I have to go now, something in the house is starting to smell pretty bad.

Bye,

Twicky

As long as they don't SMELL like almonds or freshly cut hay this year...
 

theacoustician

Flaccid Member
Sep 30, 2004
12,781
4
0
Pandora said:
Dear Santa,

I want my husbands laptop. Plez have it surgicly removed from his butthead.

Kthxbye



:fly: :D :heart:
You already spent your Christmas allocation on other things. Maybe next year.