Dear Santa,

theacoustician

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How are you? Well, I hope. I have been very good this year. Ok, well, maybe just good. Ok, so I didn't kill any hobos this year. That's good, right? Anyways, I need a socket 478 motherboard for Christmas. Something compatable with a P4 - 1.8A chip. Mine has gone Tango Uniform and my wife will not give me back my laptop until I fix it. Since all my pr0n is on that hidden file in the laptop, I really need that thing back badly, if you know what I'm saying. Please help me before my balls become the size of grapefruits.

Yours truly,
Scott
 

APRIL

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I just want a turkey leg.





and a cow leg, and a rooster leg, and a hampster leg, and a buffalo leg, and fly's leg, and your leg....
 
S

smileynev

Guest
theacoustician said:
Unlike you, I don't go out and buy new shit when I really don't have the money to spend in the first place.
And yet you can criticize the rest of us for making decisions based on economic factors? If you're gonna do it, do it right.
 

theacoustician

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NMEs Boob Warmer said:
srry, the only extra mobo I have is amd based. but its yours if you want it
I'm not begging for a new mobo from you guys. I was just trying to make more of a humorous letters to Santa thread.

Thanks for the offer though.
 

APRIL

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Pancake Wagon said:
And yet you can criticize the rest of us for making decisions based on economic factors? If you're gonna do it, do it right.
If you want it done right, do it yourself.
 

APRIL

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theacoustician said:
I'm not begging for a new mobo from you guys. I was just trying to make more of a humorous letters to Santa thread.

Thanks for the offer though.
WWWOOOOOOOOOOoooo WOOOOOOOooooo

Thread failure alert Thread failure!!!!


ABORT!
 

theacoustician

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Pancake Wagon said:
And yet you can criticize the rest of us for making decisions based on economic factors? If you're gonna do it, do it right.
There's nothing half assed about my approach to this, unlike most of your decisions. I'm only going to make a 1 for 1 swapout. You like to try and do things that will baltently not work because you're too cheap to do it right. Yet, you still go out and find money for a new Apple laptop. Ass clown.
 

Mustard Dispenser

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theacoustician said:
I'm not begging for a new mobo from you guys. I was just trying to make more of a humorous letters to Santa thread.

Thanks for the offer though.

Dammit man, if the woman finds the porn she might delete it!
Think if the porn man, the porn!
 

simple

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Hey Santa, you stupid fat fuck. I have kidnapped ever last one of your shitty little bitch elves and have randomly tied them up in the basements of various houses you will visit the night of Christmas Eve. Just kidding, fucker; I surgically inserted each elf into the assholes of your reindeer, far up enough that the only way to save each elf's life is to kill Dasher, or Dancer, etc. So now you jolly fat fuck, you must decide; will you let your toy designers suffocate, or perhaps you will slaughter your mode of transportation? Or is one useless without the other and you'll just abandon both? Regardless, Merry Christmas, whore face.

Yours truly,
Kyle
 

BigDov

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Let me check with a pal of mine and see what he's got- I'm pretty sure he's got a board compatible with what you're looking for.


edit- glad you liked the pics I sent you guys last night :lol:
 

APRIL

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elpmis said:
Hey Santa, you stupid fat fuck. I have kidnapped ever last one of your shitty little bitch elves and have randomly tied them up in the basements of various houses you will visit the night of Christmas Eve. Just kidding, fucker; I surgically inserted each elf into the assholes of your reindeer, far up enough that the only way to save each elf's life is to kill Dasher, or Dancer, etc. So now you jolly fat fuck, you must decide; will you let your toy designers suffocate, or perhaps you will slaughter your mode of transportation? Or is one useless without the other and you'll just abandon both? Regardless, Merry Christmas, whore face.

Yours truly,
Kyle
I would save the elves then eat the reindeer meat.

True story if I was santa.
 
S

smileynev

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April23 said:
I would save the elves then eat the reindeer meat.

True story if I was santa.
Bullshit. You would save the elves, eat the reindeer, eat the elves, then eat the children.
 

simple

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Hi Mr. Santa Claus. My mommy said you are very tall man, how tall is that? I like you and that you bring me presents because I have been good boy. I asking for a new soccer ball but if you can't give me it now that's okay because soccer isn't for a while still so I would like a new Nintendo game.

Bye bye Santa,
Kyel
 

Nyx

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April23 said:
I would save the elves then eat the reindeer meat.

True story if I was santa.

Barbecued Blitzen?

"Down in the workshop all the elves were makin' toys
For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys
When the boss busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death
Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath
From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo
Like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo
And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all - now you're all gonna die!"

The night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he'd been gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain

Well, the workshop is gone now, he decided to bomb it
Everywhere you'll find pieces of Cupid and Comet
And he tied up his helpers and he held the elves hostage
And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage
He got Dancer and Prancer with an old German Luger
And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddy Krueger
And he picked up a flamethrower and he barbequed Blitzen
And he took a big bite and said, "It tastes just like chicken!"

The night Santa went crazy
The night Kris Kringle went nuts
Now you can't hardly walk around the North Pole
Without steppin' in reindeer guts

There's the National Guard and the F.B.I.
There's a van from the Eyewitness News
And helicopters circlin' 'round in the sky
And the bullets are flyin', the body count's risin'
And everyone's dyin' to know, oh Santa, why?
My my my my my my
You used to be such a jolly guy

Yes, Virginia, now Santa's doin' time
In a federal prison for his infamous crime
Hey, little friend, now don't you cry no more tears
He'll be out with good behavior in 700 more years
But now Vixen's in therapy and Donner's still nervous
And the elves all got jobs working for the postal service
And they say Mrs. Clause, she's on the phone every night
With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights

They're talkin' bout - the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nicholas flipped
Broke his back for some milk and cookies
Sounds to me like he was tired of gettin' gypped

Wo, the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he's gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain
Wo, something finally must have snapped in his brain
Tell ya, something finally must have snapped... in his brain"

Not your typical Christmas carol :eek: