Dear Miss Manners....

S

smileynev

Guest
....If you were to write Miss Manners about a question, what would it be? For instance

Dear Miss Manners,

What is the proper etiquete when you realize that you just served your dinner guests a sumptuous 5 course meal but forgot to wash your hands after beating off while fingering your butthole in the bathroom prior to their arrival? Do you tell them and ruin the dinner or keep it to yourself?
 
Dear Miss Manners,

My roommate had a cat that he loved very much. The other day he found him out on the front sidewalk covered vegetable oil and crushed like he'd been shoved into a tight, tight space. He cried a lot and has no idea what happened to his beloved mittens. How do I tell him I know what happened without admitting my own guilt?
 
Dear Miss Manners,
If I've just flatulated in an elevator and the only other passenger is a hot chick, how do I convince her that she dealt it, not I?
Sincerely,
Clinch
 
Dear Miss Manners,
When talking to a big breasted woman, how long should I stare at her breasts before I make eye contact? And should I stick my face between her boobs before or after greeting her?
 
Desslock said:
Dear Miss Manners,
When talking to a big breasted woman, how long should I stare at her breasts before I make eye contact? And should I stick my face between her boobs before or after greeting her?

Why not during the greeting? You may get an echo effect.
 
ChikkenNoodul said:
Dear Miss Manners,

What is the proper protocol for relaying your condolences to the Jehovah's Witnesses after one of them was impaled on your punji sticks?

Faithfully, Spike
Remind him that the list for heaven can only have 200,000 names on it. Then ask him what his chances are?
 
ChikkenNoodul said:
Dear Miss Manners,

What is the proper protocol for relaying your condolences to the Jehovah's Witnesses after one of them was impaled on your punji sticks?

Faithfully, Spike

Politely say "Where's Jehovah now bitch?"
 
Dear Miss Manners,

What is the proper way to tell a friend that you want to be more then just friends? I don't want to lose this person if he doesn't feel the same way. BTW, we're both dudes.
 
smileynev said:
Dear Miss Manners,

What is the proper way to tell a friend that you want to be more then just friends? I don't want to lose this person if he doesn't feel the same way. BTW, we're both dudes.
IM him. *crosses fingers*
 
smileynev said:
Dear Miss Manners,

What is the proper way to tell a friend that you want to be more then just friends? I don't want to lose this person if he doesn't feel the same way. BTW, we're both dudes.

Dear Faggot,

Buy him case of beer and some Anal-ease and show up wearing a dress.
 
Dear Miss Manners,

If I just finished orally satisfying a dude in a scrungy bathroom then pull out my herp/chlym/clap infected wand of power and he shys away, would it be wrong to flip him over and sodomize him until my green goo spews in him?

Thanks,
Radioactive Man
 
Dear Miss Manners,

If I am so thoroughly disgusted by a series of posts on an internet chat board, should I talk to its managers and ask that said posts be removed?