Dear Miss Manners....

S

smileynev

Guest
....If you were to write Miss Manners about a question, what would it be? For instance

Dear Miss Manners,

What is the proper etiquete when you realize that you just served your dinner guests a sumptuous 5 course meal but forgot to wash your hands after beating off while fingering your butthole in the bathroom prior to their arrival? Do you tell them and ruin the dinner or keep it to yourself?
 
S

smileynev

Guest
Dear Miss Manners,

My roommate had a cat that he loved very much. The other day he found him out on the front sidewalk covered vegetable oil and crushed like he'd been shoved into a tight, tight space. He cried a lot and has no idea what happened to his beloved mittens. How do I tell him I know what happened without admitting my own guilt?
 
JAXvillain

JAXvillain

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Oct 13, 2004
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Dear Miss Manners,
If I've just flatulated in an elevator and the only other passenger is a hot chick, how do I convince her that she dealt it, not I?
Sincerely,
Clinch
 
Desslock

Desslock

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Oct 14, 2004
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Dear Miss Manners,
When talking to a big breasted woman, how long should I stare at her breasts before I make eye contact? And should I stick my face between her boobs before or after greeting her?
 
W

water

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Desslock said:
Dear Miss Manners,
When talking to a big breasted woman, how long should I stare at her breasts before I make eye contact? And should I stick my face between her boobs before or after greeting her?
Click to expand...

Why not during the greeting? You may get an echo effect.
 
fly

fly

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ChikkenNoodul said:
Dear Miss Manners,

What is the proper protocol for relaying your condolences to the Jehovah's Witnesses after one of them was impaled on your punji sticks?

Faithfully, Spike
Click to expand...
Remind him that the list for heaven can only have 200,000 names on it. Then ask him what his chances are?
 
Desslock

Desslock

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ChikkenNoodul said:
Dear Miss Manners,

What is the proper protocol for relaying your condolences to the Jehovah's Witnesses after one of them was impaled on your punji sticks?

Faithfully, Spike
Click to expand...

Politely say "Where's Jehovah now bitch?"
 
S

smileynev

Guest
Dear Miss Manners,

What is the proper way to tell a friend that you want to be more then just friends? I don't want to lose this person if he doesn't feel the same way. BTW, we're both dudes.
 
fly

fly

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smileynev said:
Dear Miss Manners,

What is the proper way to tell a friend that you want to be more then just friends? I don't want to lose this person if he doesn't feel the same way. BTW, we're both dudes.
Click to expand...
IM him. *crosses fingers*
 
Desslock

Desslock

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smileynev said:
Dear Miss Manners,

What is the proper way to tell a friend that you want to be more then just friends? I don't want to lose this person if he doesn't feel the same way. BTW, we're both dudes.
Click to expand...

Dear Faggot,

Buy him case of beer and some Anal-ease and show up wearing a dress.
 
W

wr3kt

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Oct 15, 2004
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Dear Miss Manners,

If I just finished orally satisfying a dude in a scrungy bathroom then pull out my herp/chlym/clap infected wand of power and he shys away, would it be wrong to flip him over and sodomize him until my green goo spews in him?

Thanks,
Radioactive Man
 
S

smileynev

Guest
Dear Miss Manners,

If I am so thoroughly disgusted by a series of posts on an internet chat board, should I talk to its managers and ask that said posts be removed?
 
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