Choose Your Own Adventure - The Thread!

water

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Oct 29, 2004
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I had this idea from a thread a while back that referenced the old Choose Your Own Adventure books, but didn't think I'd have time to make the thread worthwhile back then, but we'll give it a try now.

The first person to post with a page number choice makes the decision, so it's kind of a race I suppose, and I'll try to reply with worthwhile story responses as quickly as possible.

The title for this book will be...

"The Adventures Of Fly And Nev In The Scary, And Somewhat Homosexual, Castle"

Let's see how this goes....

The wooden drawbridge creaked and cracked as Nev bounded acrossed it. "It looks pretty stable to me" he said to Fly who was standing safely on the land in front of it.

"Jump up and down a few more times and see if breaks, I don't want to get my new jeans wet, and those crocodiles down there look hungry." Fly replied.

Nev jumped up and down once and the bridge held, the crocodiles below frowned in disappointment and went back to trying to construct a catapult to get at our heroes. Seeing that there was only minimal danger now Fly proceeded across the bridge, looking anxiously at the ravenous reptiles below. Nev seeing his look immediately piped up "If you're thinking of throwing me down there as a distraction you'd better hope your Kung Fu is stronger than mine," and striking the crane-style pose continued "You want Karate?"

"Whatever Nev, let's just get inside and get the copy of Battlefield 2, there are only 2 more days til release and I want to make some hacks for it before everyone else get it so I don't get owned because I use a trackball." Fly said, pushing his comrade out of the way and heading for the large castle doors.

As the two reached the doors they stood for a while in awe of the massive structure in front of them. The huge stone castle stood taller than Mount Everest and had 12 foot tall Gargoyles standing at either side of the massive wooden doors. Nev gulped audibly and a small wet spot appeared at the front of his pants, he considered running back to the car and going home, but the thought of playing Battlefield 2 before anyone else was too great and he pressed the giant doorbell which sounded like a woman's scream instead of a bell.

"Oh so they're into the S&M stuff, alrighty then..." Fly thought :hi2u: and licked his lips.

Suddenly the door creaked open and dressed as a butler KNYTE at his awesome height of 5 feet 6 inches glowered up at them. "What do you want?" he demanded.

Nev, attempting to be galant, shouted "WE HAVE COME FOR THE COPY OF BATTLEFIELD 2, YOU WILL GIVE IT TO US! OR DIE!"

KNYTE, unfazed by Nev's hysterics, simply pulled from his pocket one of his shooting gloves and slapped Nev across the face. "He always this infuriating?" he asked Fly.

"He takes a day off from it on February 29th, but other than that, yes." Fly responded.

"Well if you guys are here for the Battlefield 2 copy it's just a myth, I've been searching for it for weeks and it's not here. I even had to kill and eat the butler that worked here I got so hungry, and his outfit was my size so....."

Fly, with a horrified look on his face replied "And you didn't save any for us????"

"Sorry man" KNYTE said "I gotta go home though, Kiwi got a French Maid Outfit to go with this Butler Get-up, and you know how that is :hi2u: Get out of my way." and with that KNYTE pushed his way past and walked out into the night.

After watching KNYTE leave the two heroes looked at eachother for a minute and Nev asked "Well, what should we do?"

"I don't know" Fly said "But If he had the BF2 copy on him I would've killed him and eaten him for it, plus I pissed at him for hogging all of the butler."

If Nev and Fly should go into the castle; turn to page 9

If Nev and Fly should track down KNYTE and try to eat him first, turn to page 4

edit: I'm not going to bother to back through and fix grammar/spelling errors through all of this, so please don't hastle me about it.
 
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What about the mad scientist/yeti/aliens/cave of time/lizard people angle??? HOW could you forget those crucial aspects of CYOA?

Or will that come later?
 
b_sinning said:

Running down the path away from the castle Fly and Nev forgot about everything except catching KNYTE so they could eat him. Nev, getting ahead of himself, tied a lobster bib around his neck and pulled out some utensils from a pocket in his cargo pants.

Fly, who hadn't eaten anyone since 10am that morning, began to think they may not catch up with KNYTE, and that his prey had gotten away but regained hope when he found a .40 shell casing and a dead circus clown on the side of the road.

"HE WENT THIS WAY!" he yelled, and getting a second wind he and Nev tore down the path.

Suddenly they spotted KNYTE, humming quietly to himself and skipping down the path in a very suspicious manner, but upon hearing someone he immediately turned and yelled "I WAS ONLY PRACTICING SKIPPING FOR A COMPETITION I HAVE TOMORROW! I'M NOT GAY!"

Nev and Fly, shocked by his sudden outburst just stared blankly for a minute, then coming to their senses said (in stereo) "We're here to eat you KNYTE, give yourself up and start marinating yourself in Teriyaki sauce."

Then Nev whispered to Fly "I thought we agreed on a honey glaze you bastard."

"Shut up" Fly said "We'll figure that out later.

KNYTE, still wearing his Butler outfit, wiped a single tear from his eye and said "You guys came all the way out here to eat me? And you even skipped that clown that I killed down the road? I'm the happiest I've ever been!" and ran to hug Nev and Fly.

After 2 or 3 hours of 3-way male hugging the three grown men finally let go of eachother and started to talk.

"Look guys" KNYTE said, "There's a copy of BF2 somewhere in that castle, and we have a better chance at finding it with the three of us together than if you guys eat me and go alone, what do you say?"

If Nev and Fly should eat KNYTE, turn to page 345

If Nev and Fly should let KNYTE join them and quest for the holy game; turn to page 14

BigDov said:
What about the mad scientist/yeti/aliens/cave of time/lizard people angle??? HOW could you forget those crucial aspects of CYOA?

Or will that come later?

I'll try to work them and the Space Vampire in a little bit.
 
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FlamingGlory said:

Character Selection Note: If you want to suggest someone to get worked into the story as a character let me know in reply posts.

Returning to the castle a quickly as they could, only stopping so that KNYTE could terminate the occasional circus clown that wandered onto the path, the now 3 heroes prepared themselves to enter the castle and discover the location of the Death Star's secret shield generator...sorry, wrong story...Battlefield 2.

Upon reaching the huge wooden door the 3 walked into the spacious lobby of the castle. KNYTE, having been here before and feeling that he had a certain amount of history with the place began to point out landmarks and objects of interest, but Fly quickly quieted him when he saw a dark shape suddenly whisp away at the top of stair case across the room.

"You there! Stop in the name of the law" Fly yelled.

"Holy crap, you're a cop?" Nev asked.

"No" Fly replied, hanging his head "I just wanted to sound important in case it's a hot chick or something."

"Oh don't worry about the shadow thingie" KNYTE said, "It's been following me around the castle for weeks now. It used to get pretty close to me and breathe really loud on my face while I slept, but now it just kind of flits around and laughs at me when I bump into something in the dark."

"Hmm, I wonder what that thing is...." Nev thought aloud.

If Nev, KNYTE, and Fly should try to catch "the shadow"; turn to page 34

If they should begin to search the castle; turn to page 86
 
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Pandora said:
34! 34! I wanna know what the shadow is! Maybe it's the mysterious April23.... :eek:

Racing up the stairs the 3 treasure hunters searched for the mysterious shadow. Nev yanked two flashlights and a gas lantern out of his cargo pants and soon every corner was being pierced with bright light. As the trio moved down the hallway and sharp laugh suddenly broke out, and all of the sudden the flashlights went out, leaving only the lantern as a light source.

"Oh for crying out loud, you morons bought Everready batteries didn't you?" KNYTE yelled.

"NO!" Nev replied "They're Duracell, it's as if the lights went out by some kind of black magic."

"Or an electro-magnetic pulse" Fly suggested.

Then suddenly the horrible laughter broke out from the shadows again. Someone out there apparently thought this chain of event was hiliarious, and the trio wanted to find out why. Then a deep, rumbling voice growled from the darkness "You fools will never find the treasure you seek! I have protected it from hundreds of treasure hunters just like you! Now their bones rot in the dungeon of pointy and hot things! And you will do no better!"

Nev, unable to control himself screamed out "I DEMAND TO BE CHAINED UP IN THE DUNGEON OF POINTY AND HOT THINGS!"

Only silence came from the shadows, then just as suddenly a regular man's voice spoke out "omg ghey? :haaay: lol"

"Wait..." Fly said "I recognize that voice...is that? Hey you, come out of the shadows!"

"You can't make me!" the shadow responded.

"Come out or I'll send Nev in!" Fly sscreamed back.

Immediately Fat Burger raced from the darkness, clad in an authentic Darth Vader outfit complete with voice changer doo-dad. "OK, OK! Don't do it man, be careful with that thing, he could put an eye out or something. I was just messing with you guys! I came to the castle because I heard that there is a finished copy of the Harry Potter And The Half Blood Prince somewhere in here. When you guys showed up I thought that's what you came here for too, so I wanted to get rid of you, but then I remembered that Fly can't read, so you must've come for something else."

"Hmmm, this is very suspicious. Four people from UF come to same castle, at the same time, looking for treasure which may, or may not, actually be here. Perhaps this is a trap?" Nev said.

"Didn't we all reply to the "Hey there's a copy of BF2 and the new Harry Potter book in a scary castle" thread that April made?" Fly said.

"I didn't reply" KNYTE said :shifty: "I was just lurking that thread hoping that while everyone else was calling shens I could get out here and get a head start."

"Well obviously someone wanted to get us out here looking for treasure, but why?" Fat Burger asked.

"Surprise party?" Fly said.

"I doubt it" Nev replied "Where are all the hookers hanging from chains like Pinatas?"

"Good Point."

"Alright, well I'm not giving up on the Harry Potter book being here just yet. Let's go down this dark and dreary hallway and see what we can find." Fat Burger said.

"NO WAY!" KNYTE said "There could be Giant Sloths or something down there. Let's go back to the lobby and find a nicer, more naturally lit hallway, that has some fine art or tapestries that we can steal while we search."

If the now 4 men should go down the dreary, dark hallway; go to page 17.

If they should go back to lobby and try to steal art and tapestries from a nicer hallway; go to page 685
 
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This thread is awesome.

The only thing I'd change is give people more than 2 choices.

Otherwise, this completely rocks my boxers.
 
kiwi said:

"Forget the tapestries" Fat Burger said "They're all woven with patterns of David Hasselhoff in his red Bay Watch trunks anyway."

"Fine, I'll just settle for stealing your wallets when you aren't looking. Jacking Nev's Player's Club card will cover my tapestrie losses quite nicely. :fly: "

"Shut up the both of you, we're getting nowhere fast on finding our m4d l3wt." ranted Fly. "What we need to do is start looking for clues as to where they may be hidden, and to do that we have to think like an inner city high school janitor."

"Why a janitor?" Nev asked.

"Because janitors have keys to everything, and know where everything is. Plus they usually have hidden stashes of pictures from the girl's locker room that they've collected over the years."

"How does any of that help us?" KNYTE questioned.

"You guys shut up, I'm running things here. I'll lock this thread up so tight it'll never get another view! :mad: " Fly screamed.

"We're not on UF man..." Fat Burger objected "only the castle admin has power here."

"FORUM WAR!" Fly screamed.

After several moments of complete silence and blank stares from the 3 others in the hallway Fly realized he'd made a mistake; he'd left the oven on before he and Nev had headed out to the castle, and the piece of hooker thigh that he had left to cook was now completely ruined. On top of that he would go through this adventure without the help of a lock button or the ability to send someone to the PG. Things could get ugly fast...

For several minutes the four men bickered like 8 year old, pig tailed girls on a playground over a swing, and after a slap fight between Fat Burger and Nev they all agreed to head down the darkened hallway. As they walked, Fat Burger replaced the Everready batteries in their flashlights with the Duracells he had taken, and explained that while the other three had been hugging outside the castle he had snuck up and switched them without anyone being the wiser. He also commented that he'd never seen such man-love except when visiting the Kiddie Corral on [m]. Strengthened once again by the return of their lights the group plunged into the dark, deep, cavernous hall.

For several minutes the men walked in silence shining lights here and there until Nev found a trail of foot prints in the dust. "Look here!" He said. Pointing his flashlight down so that they all could get a good look at the prints. The tracks were fairly clear, and appeared the be Lady Nike running shoes, the "swoosh" was clearly visible. "Who would wear such a shoe?" Nev thought allowed.

"Someone with great fashion sense, but a demand for comfort I'll tell you that much." KNYTE commented, admiring the defined tread pattern and curvature of the print.

"How do you know about women's shoes? Fly asked.

:shifty: was the only response KNYTE could muster.

"Perhaps I don't want to know." Fly said.

"Well....what should we do now?" Nev asked.

If the group should follow the foot prints, turn page 666

If the group should continue down the hallway and ignore the footprints, turn to page 37
 
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