Friend of mine tried to commit suicide last night. Thankfully someone that has kept closer tabs was able to get someone to her apartment in time. She's being taken care of for now.
:-/
:-/
Ontopic Check in on people
- Thread starter Mr. Argumentor
- Start date
Dory Berkowitz-Bukowski
Clam whisperer
That's a real shame, how are you feeling about it? I'm glad someone found her in time, maybe it's the wake up call she needs; what lead her to this point?
She transitioned about 2 years back. Since then she has been much happier. Before transitioning she thought about suicide a lot and I believe there were several attempts.
I feel kind of guilty about it.
I'm generally bad about keeping in touch with people that aren't in the same county as I am, much less an entirely different region of the country. Since I stopped participating in Facebook that had only gotten worse. I'm not sure what happened to precipitate it, last I heard she was happy.
Dory Berkowitz-Bukowski
Clam whisperer
The rates of attempted or completed suicide are sky high within the LGBT community but especially for trans. If she has some support around her it might be beneficial for someone to recommend a counsellor who specialises in working in the LGBT community; there's lots of networks out there these days because it's so high risk.
Yeah, I know.
She should have a fairly tight network up there with how many people we both know up there, but they are mostly college pre-transition friends. I would hope they all stayed close to her after she came out to them but I'm not sure.
I know for the next couple days she'll be under a watchful eye at least. I'll have to see what I can turn up for help.
Dory Berkowitz-Bukowski
Clam whisperer
That sounds really hard with the distance involved, must be difficult to come up with ideas of how you can help. One thing that's always stuck with me from suicide training I've been on years ago is about planning and having something on a calendar in the future which means they put off suicidal ideation. Maybe it would be a good idea for you to start a group chat of everyone you know involved in her life and you all make individual plans with her so she has something going on each week to count down to socially. Sorry if that sounds like a shitty or stupid idea to you. I think the logic is about putting it off and keeping putting it off, eventually fitting in more positive things until it's no longer on the agenda for the person.
No, it's a simple idea. Its blatant, but who cares about that against the alternatives?
That's heart breaking. Sounds like she's one of the lucky ones with people who love her around her.
Petunia
COVID POSITIVE FOREVER
Are there any really happy transitioned people? I've got no data, but I assume the number is waaay low.
Dory Berkowitz-Bukowski
Clam whisperer
Yeah, there are. It's close to 20% of our clientelle. Not all of them, of course. The suicide number for trans people are really bad. In many cases, the feedback is 'I thought I would feel different' after they begin the switch, and when they find out they don't (which our doctors prep them for. The physical change is the smallest change that happens when a person transitions. But mental changes, the way one thinks, the way one looks on the world, the hope that a dramatic change will lead to dramatic and positive results, are hard to make for anyone, much less someone who has a lot of gender issues going through their head.)
But to say none of them are happy also isn't correct. For example, we have 1 F to M trans (you NEVER would have guess this person was born female. It's the most complete transition I've ever seen, for what parts can be seen. No idea if they added a stem to the apple) who is quite happy, as well as is very active in supporting the trans community (case management for trans specific people).
But it's a fair ask considering all of the mental and emotional issues that a trans person deals with before making the decision to switch, and then the result of hormone therapy and the life changing decision that transitioning becomes.
But the trans people who actually do work here seem quite well balanced and happy with their existence.
One of my older brothers was born my sister. He seems WAY happier now than at any point in his life. He transitioned really late in life so there were a lot of people affected by the transition. He had (has) three kids and even though two have completely accepted him, one hasn’t and their relationship is strained at best.
If he was ever forced to use the female restroom, he’d be arrested quite often because nothing about him looks female at all.
About suicide, I feel blessed to still have my favorite person around. We went through a scary year awhile back that resulted in some lengthy hospital stays and therapy and thankfully, all is well now.
I hope your friend gets the help needed for themselves and those close to them.
If he was ever forced to use the female restroom, he’d be arrested quite often because nothing about him looks female at all.
About suicide, I feel blessed to still have my favorite person around. We went through a scary year awhile back that resulted in some lengthy hospital stays and therapy and thankfully, all is well now.
I hope your friend gets the help needed for themselves and those close to them.
Yeah, I wasn't actually suggesting the number was zero, just very low. IMHO, if you're unhappy in your skin, you're just going to be unhappy no matter what happens...
Let’s hope the next 20 years go smoother than the last 30 for that. It seems several are trying to turn that clock back.
Wow, this post was interesting. Thanks for sharing, seriously.
Gravy cause they got to her in time. I hope she gets better. Wish I could offer more than hope, but I will try to pay more attention to people.
Her parents are violently catholic. They didn't take it well. Her brothers are, thankfully