Breaking new ground...

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Detman101

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Well, last night in my psych class, the hot 5'1" nurse chick with the size D boobs talked to me after our 2nd test. We sat outside in the hallway and compared notes and talked about each other for about 15 minutes. Her boobs are a lot bigger than i originally thought. Jesus, I don't see how she stands up straight as short as she is. Wow.
I think I got 4 questions wrong out of 30 but it will still be an "A" with the grade curve. I really wanted to ace it though.

I thought a lot about my relationship with the woman I want to marry.
I thought a lot about my past relationships and how I never gave anyone a chance to redeem themselves. The first time they messed up I kicked them to the curb. I thought about how I feel like such a jackass all the time because I love this woman so much I forgive her for things I would have dumped anyone else for. I thought a lot about how anal I was with everyone else. It made me want to apologize to all of my exes...but then I came back to myself and said "to hell with them" and dropped the idea. :p

Anyway, just venting/talking here today. Feeling like a jackass cause I care so much. Why does love make me feel stupid? Will anyone I am with be able to reflect the level of devotion and responsibility to love that I feel inside?

Damnit, it's always the pretty ones that kill ya.
 
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Detman101

Guest
NeedMoreEmo said:
Love always makes you stupid, and far too forgiving. It's hard to be rational about someone you'd die for. :)
Yes, I believe that is what I'm dealing with.
Everyday I feel such an internal struggle to love her and also to just dump her and go back to my arsehole loner self. I love her so much yet I feel so angry at myself that I let her get to me the way that she does. And it's stupid little things too like her falling asleep last night and not calling me. Sends me into an absolute fit of internal rage and self loathing.
Like I want to just run head first at the closest wall and KO myself for caring so much but then I want to just run to her.

Arrrrgh..

:mad: :(
 

Dory

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Detman101 said:
Yes, I believe that is what I'm dealing with.
Everyday I feel such an internal struggle to love her and also to just dump her and go back to my arsehole loner self. I love her so much yet I feel so angry at myself that I let her get to me the way that she does. And it's stupid little things too like her falling asleep last night and not calling me. Sends me into an absolute fit of internal rage and self loathing.
Like I want to just run head first at the closest wall and KO myself for caring so much but then I want to just run to her.

Arrrrgh..

:mad: :(
Doesn't sound like too healthy a relationship if you ask me. Sounds like you're very dependant on someone, and that's never a good thing. I'd advise you to break up with her regardless of the hurt it causes both of you - but that's just what I'd do, or like to think I'd do anyway. :)
 
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Detman101

Guest
You're right luv. My heart has been activated and now it requires nourishment and sustenance....fuel for the reactor.
And I feel that I should rightly depend on someone who claims that they love me to fulfill my needs. Being "Hungry" like this is not healthy.

Believe me, if I determine that she cannot fulfill my level of Love requirement I will break up with her and wait on someone who can.

:)
 
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Detman101

Guest
BigDov said:
Wait, are you still planning on marrying her? :confused:

As far as love making you feel stupid, I don't know if that ever goes away..... :lol:
Yes I still plan on marrying her simply because I'm not dating to play around.
If she doesn't get with the program by late february she is going to be talking to the curb like the rest.
 
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Detman101

Guest
Thanks NME. :heart:
I will make that decision soon. The holiday season is coming up and with her working in the retail industry it will be a real test to see just how important I am in her life.
If I see that I am not...I'll just disappear.

you know...sometimes I wonder why I bother with these things. Life was so much simpler when it was just me and my motorcycle.
 

CletusJones

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boy, there seems to be a lot of relationship carnage happening here lately.

I know how that goes, and when a girl feels that way about me, it makes me really happy, but I can honestly say that I've never felt that way about another person. I've loved and all, but never to the point that I wanted to be with that other person 24/7 like you're saying. I guess it's all part of being wanted or something.

Bottom line though, if she's not giving you what you need, you gotta let her go man.
 
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Detman101

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Yeah, you're right. I am torn between telling her that she isn't making me completely happy and just walking away. I mean, what if she can improve?
If she can get better I'd stay. But if she can't then I'd walk...
Either way, I don't think I'd get that answer naturally without sticking around for a little while.

Right?
 

BigDov

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Detman101 said:
Yeah, you're right. I am torn between telling her that she isn't making me completely happy and just walking away. I mean, what if she can improve?
If she can get better I'd stay. But if she can't then I'd walk...
Either way, I don't think I'd get that answer naturally without sticking around for a little while.

Right?

Yes, you're right- but you're the only one that can determine if the changes are for real and permanent, or just band-aiding a bigger problem. You know what I mean??
 

Desslock

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Detman101 said:
Yeah, you're right. I am torn between telling her that she isn't making me completely happy and just walking away. I mean, what if she can improve?
If she can get better I'd stay. But if she can't then I'd walk...
Either way, I don't think I'd get that answer naturally without sticking around for a little while.

Right?
Dude. You shouldn't even be thinking about marriage if you feel like that.
 

Dory

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Detman101 said:
Yeah, you're right. I am torn between telling her that she isn't making me completely happy and just walking away. I mean, what if she can improve?
If she can get better I'd stay. But if she can't then I'd walk...
Either way, I don't think I'd get that answer naturally without sticking around for a little while.

Right?
If she can improve then it won't be forever, and the fact that you're doubting it so much more than is normal in a relationship means things aren't working. You shouldn't be second guessing yourself and hoping she'll change, people don't change, they're always the same they just have blips.