Big Parenting Moments

b_sinning

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Pandora you remember how big of a deal it was when you started school as a kid?

It's more of you tend to still see your own kid as a toddler/baby and starting school is a real slap in the face that your child is growing up and that part of his life with you is really over with.
 

Thorn Bird

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pandora, the hardest part about watching spangelet grow up is knowing that i'll never be able to get back to the baby days of hers. i can have a zillion more babies, and not ONE would be another molly baby. she was so cute, and so sweet, and so pure..as she gets older, that fades, and once it's gone, it's gone forever. it's almost a mourning process i go through. these days are precious, rare, and numbered. :eek:
 

bast_imret

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Pandora said:
Okay I need a parent to explain this to me cuz I really just don't get this. Parents are infamous for their 'first day of school' drama. I understand that a kids first day of school is a big deal, that a kids first of anything is a big deal.... But why do some parents get soooo nuts over it? It's like they're in shock that the kid is growing up? Aren't kids suppose to do that?! Do parents actually want their babies to never grow up? Isn't the whole point to parenthood raising a child so they will grow up and be a successful contributing member to society? Seems like they should be proud to see their offspring go off to school, but why do some parents have such a hard time with it? :confused:

In those first few years, they are so dependent on you and you spend so much of your time with them. I can only imagine at this point the kind of bond that's formed. Their first day ever at school can be very had for a parent, cause of trying to let go, knowing that for once you won't be the one watching over them all day to make sure they are safe and don't stick crayons up their nose or something. It's only harder for a single child household. Which is why, as you've seen, my mom cries and gets depressed at every major event in my life :fly:
 

Thorn Bird

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bast_imret said:
In those first few years, they are so dependent on you and you spend so much of your time with them. I can only imagine at this point the kind of bond that's formed. Their first day ever at school can be very had for a parent, cause of trying to let go, knowing that for once you won't be the one watching over them all day to make sure they are safe and don't stick crayons up their nose or something. It's only harder for a single child household. Which is why, as you've seen, my mom cries and gets depressed at every major event in my life :fly:


this is correct as well. the thought of someone else being in charge of my LIFE TERRIFIES me. i know i'm not a perfect parent, but i sure as hell don't trust some STRANGER to know how to protect/teach/guide/nurture/LOVE my child the way i do. :(

excuse me while i go cry and unenroll my child from her preschool. :(
 

Pandora

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b_sinning said:
Pandora you remember how big of a deal it was when you started school as a kid?

It's more of you tend to still see your own kid as a toddler/baby and starting school is a real slap in the face that your child is growing up and that part of his life with you is really over with.

No I don't actually. Considering how shy I was tho I'm sure its not something I want to remember.

So it's a 'life's too short' thing then? That's still nothing new. We have holidays and anniverserys all year long that remind us of times passage. Life's too short with or without kids. So I don't see why some parents get sooo nuts about it. Not only is it not a healthy outlook on life, but it could give the kid a complex. Parents should be proud and appreciative when their kids hit those milestones. Reserve the freaking out for when they don't/can't follow those norms. :iono:
 

bast_imret

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Pandora said:
No I don't actually. Considering how shy I was tho I'm sure its not something I want to remember.

So it's a 'life's too short' thing then? That's still nothing new. We have holidays and anniverserys all year long that remind us of times passage. Life's too short with or without kids. So I don't see why some parents get sooo nuts about it. Not only is it not a healthy outlook on life, but it could give the kid a complex. Parents should be proud and appreciative when their kids hit those milestones. Reserve the freaking out for when they don't/can't follow those norms. :iono:

I think the freaking out portion applies more to my response. I think most parents are proud, but alot get fearful after being the sole nurturer of their child for a few years, suddenly having to give that up to a random school teacher.
 

ZRH

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Pandora said:
No I don't actually. Considering how shy I was tho I'm sure its not something I want to remember.

So it's a 'life's too short' thing then? That's still nothing new. We have holidays and anniverserys all year long that remind us of times passage. Life's too short with or without kids. So I don't see why some parents get sooo nuts about it. Not only is it not a healthy outlook on life, but it could give the kid a complex. Parents should be proud and appreciative when their kids hit those milestones. Reserve the freaking out for when they don't/can't follow those norms. :iono:
Nobody is "going nuts", feeling a little bit sad and maybe not wanting to leave is not the same as "going nuts". I'd be far more suspicious of those who werent miffed when their child starts kindergarten.

"Reserve the freaking out for when they don't/can't follow those norms."; what is this supposed to mean? Children are not lifestyle accessories or cattle or even pets. They are persons that you've raised since birth. Being normal so it fits with what your idea of a child should be is just plain insulting.
 

Sarcasmo

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It's a reflective sadness, I think. You look back on the preceeding 5 years, all the memories, all the moments, and you finally realize that your child has begun that winding road to adulthood. They're away from you, in the care of someone else, and they no longer need you to the same extent that they always have before. It's a milestone, and it really brings a lot of perspectives together. Love, mortality, protective instinct, etc.
 

Pandora

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bast_imret said:
In those first few years, they are so dependent on you and you spend so much of your time with them. I can only imagine at this point the kind of bond that's formed. Their first day ever at school can be very had for a parent, cause of trying to let go, knowing that for once you won't be the one watching over them all day to make sure they are safe and don't stick crayons up their nose or something. It's only harder for a single child household. Which is why, as you've seen, my mom cries and gets depressed at every major event in my life :fly:

Yeah see this is why I can't have kids. The whole dependence thing would just make me eager to kick them out the door so I could have a moment that is my own. As a parent you know they will grow up and leave the nest (hopefully if you did your job right). You know that the baby period is extreamly short compaired to the rest of a childs life span, and that you have 15+ years of the kid going off to school. Understanding all that I guess I just don't see why some have such a hard time letting go.
 

Sarcasmo

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Pandora said:
Yeah see this is why I can't have kids. The whole dependence thing would just make me eager to kick them out the door so I could have a moment that is my own. As a parent you know they will grow up and leave the nest (hopefully if you did your job right). You know that the baby period is extreamly short compaired to the rest of a childs life span, and that you have 15+ years of the kid going off to school. Understanding all that I guess I just don't see why some have such a hard time letting go.


The only way to understand is to have a kid, and to realize that from the time they are born until the time they turn 5, approximately 2 weeks of time elapses. It goes by that quick. It's depressing and terrifying. Unless you just hate kids. Then you'd probably be like "GOD JUST FUCKIN' DIE ALREADY. CHANGE YOUR OWN STUPID DIAPER. JESUS. FUCK." :fly:
 

Pandora

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FlamingGlory said:
Nobody is "going nuts", feeling a little bit sad and maybe not wanting to leave is not the same as "going nuts". I'd be far more suspicious of those who werent miffed when their child starts kindergarten.

"Reserve the freaking out for when they don't/can't follow those norms."; what is this supposed to mean? Children are not lifestyle accessories or cattle or even pets. They are persons that you've raised since birth. Being normal so it fits with what your idea of a child should be is just plain insulting.

Well not so much anyone on UF, but I have certainly heard of other parents that do. That's why I was speaking in general terms and not addressing anyone in particular. And a parent that get's 'miffed' about their kid going off to school is a little toooo attached imo. It should be an event that is celebrated.

What's insulting is the presumptuous tone in your post. I was simply implying that parents should feel loss when their children are unable to participate in 'normal' milestones...ie first day of kindergarten, first dance, first job, a wedding, first child (grandchild)..... Not every parent gets to celebrate their child's first day of school as B did this morning.
 

Sarcasmo

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Pandora said:
Well not so much anyone on UF, but I have certainly heard of other parents that do. That's why I was speaking in general terms and not addressing anyone in particular. And a parent that get's 'miffed' about their kid going off to school is a little toooo attached imo. It should be an event that is celebrated.

What's insulting is the presumptuous tone in your post. I was simply implying that parents should feel loss when their children are unable to participate in 'normal' milestones...ie first day of kindergarten, first dance, first job, a wedding, first child (grandchild)..... Not every parent gets to celebrate their child's first day of school as B did this morning.


Wait, I'm confused. Are we asking why parents get sad about their child's first day, or are we asking about parents who exhibit some kind of bizarre extremist behavior? I thought people were asking why mom's cry, dad's console, etc. If we're asking about freaks, I have no idea why they do what they do.
 

b_sinning

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Pandora said:
Not every parent gets to celebrate their child's first day of school as B did this morning.


I e-mailed my boss and said I would be late becuase me being there was more important than being to work on time. I work tons of off hours and I'm always on call. I've made it very clear to my boss that I like my job but I love my son and he comes first to me. He understands that and becuase I don't abuse that excuse he never gives me any problems about it.
 

ZRH

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Pandora said:
Well not so much anyone on UF, but I have certainly heard of other parents that do. That's why I was speaking in general terms and not addressing anyone in particular. And a parent that get's 'miffed' about their kid going off to school is a little toooo attached imo. It should be an event that is celebrated.

What's insulting is the presumptuous tone in your post. I was simply implying that parents should feel loss when their children are unable to participate in 'normal' milestones...ie first day of kindergarten, first dance, first job, a wedding, first child (grandchild)..... Not every parent gets to celebrate their child's first day of school as B did this morning.
So... Parents shouldnt be attached to their children. Well that's a lovely perspective and I'm sure everyone will take it into consideration. All celebrations are slightly sad, e.g. funerals. It's not anyone's fault you cant understand why a parent sending their children off to school may be a little sad, but obviously since it doesnt mesh with your view of how the world should be, it's wrong.

All I said was that most normal, red blooded, people will be slighty miffed, even if they dont act it. You disparage nearly every post relating to children on this site, we are all we aware of your feelings on the subject.

~.^
 
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b_sinning

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Pandora

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Flamer McDickchugger said:
Wait, I'm confused. Are we asking why parents get sad about their child's first day, or are we asking about parents who exhibit some kind of bizarre extremist behavior? I thought people were asking why mom's cry, dad's console, etc. If we're asking about freaks, I have no idea why they do what they do.

Well I see it as bizarre extreamist behavior...but more like when moms break down bawling over the event, or when the teachers have to basiclly kick the parents out of the classroom cuz they won't leave. If you can't gracefully let go then you've got some attachement issues imho. I understand being sad reflecting on the loss of babyhood or whatever, but some people cross that line of having issues with letting go. Yes? No?