Bad Jokes

[Jehannum]

If you ever find yourself locked out of your house, remember to talk to the door calmly, because communication is key.

 

[Jehannum]

The chicken went to the gym to work on his pecks.

 

[Jehannum]

If you need to execute coffee, the ideal means is by decaf-ination.

 

[Jehannum]

Did you hear about the terrible budget cuts at NPR?

Now they're only able to consider some things.

 

[gee]

Prince Harry's biography has been pirated all over the internet lately, it's really easy to find if you want the .epub file.

If you want a PDF file instead, that's his uncle.

 

[Jehannum]

At the bar last night, this girl got her nipple pierced in front of everybody.

Turns out we really suck at darts.

 

[Jehannum]

Dr. Frankenstein's complaint to his therapist was, "I have trouble making friends".

 

[Jehannum]

How do 37 mathematicians board a bus with a capacity of 36?

They carry the one.

 

[Jehannum]

I have a list of friends who love palindromes!

Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel, and Ellen

 

[Jehannum]

Don't accept shampoo.

Only take real poo.

 

[Jehannum]

I think my coworker got conned.

He bought a 2023 dad joke calendar, but it only has 365 of them.

 

[Jehannum]

I can't believe I got fired from the clock factory after putting in so many extra hours.

 

[Jehannum]

Anyone here know what a trebuchet is?

Long shot, I know...

 

[Jehannum]

slipped on the ice in front of the police station the other day.

I went to complain to them about it, but they arrested me for a fell-on-knee.

 

[Jehannum]

Looked in the mirror and found a bunch of gray hairs today.

I'm so upset I might dye.

 

[Jehannum]

A Moebius strip walked into a bar, looking sad.

The bartender asked, "What's your story, pal?"

The Moebius strip replied, "Where do I start?"

 

[Jehannum]

Dropped a box of light switches.

Turns out they were heavier than I thought.

 

[Jehannum]

A sheep's favorite car brand is Lamborghini.

 

[Strings]

The Flat Earth theory isn't very well rounded.

 

[Jehannum]

My ex used to hit me with stringed instruments.

She had a history of violins.