Bad Jokes

[Mean Mr. Mustard]

Sherlock Holmes likes mexican restaurants because they give him good case ideas.

 

[Jehannum]

I gave my daughter a picture of herself in a locket, because she's independent.

 

[Strings]

I'm glad she didn't become unhinged.

 

[HipHugHer]

Wrote a dating app for chickens. It's not my normal job, but it helps make hens meet.

I sent this to the old lady in the midst of an argument. I think it worked.

 

[Jehannum]

My neighbor claims his golden retriever can retrieve a tennis ball over half a mile away.

That seems a bit far-fetched to me.

 

[Jehannum]

Hugh Jackman always punches monks selling flowers because only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

 

[Mean Mr. Mustard]

Told my friend to meet me at the music store in 45 minutes.
I made it in 33 which is record speed.

 

[tre]

 

[Jehannum]

The difference between chickpeas and black eyed peas is that the black eyed peas can sing us a song, while chickpeas can only hummus one.

 

[Jehannum]

Saw a vegetarian sticking two pieces of paper together with hummus.

I asked what was going on, and he told me that hummus is a vegetarian staple.

 

[Jehannum]

Met the happiest girl in the world the other day.

Her name was Sarah Tonin.

 

[Jehannum]

Somebody keeps sending me celery and I don't know who it is.

It's like I'm being stalked.

 

[Jehannum]

Dracula will never grow as a person, because he can't reflect.

 

[Jehannum]

First I got a tattoo on my cervical that said "5".
Next, I got one on my thoracic that said "4"
Then, I got one on my lumbar that said "3"
After that, I got one on my Sacrum that said "2"
And now, I'm getting one on my Coccyx that says "1"

It's the spinal countdown.

 

[Domon]

First I got a tattoo on my cervical that said "5".
Next, I got one on my thoracic that said "4"
Then, I got one on my lumbar that said "3"
After that, I got one on my Sacrum that said "2"
And now, I'm getting one on my Coccyx that says "1"

It's the spinal countdown.

bah bu bum bum bum

 

[Jehannum]

The dad joke crossed the road to get to the other sigh.

 

[Jehannum]

The only place where a lobster can work in a bakery is the crust station.

 

[tre]

I heard Bilbo Baggins does from a viagra overdose.

i guess old hobbits die hard.

 

[Jehannum]

Batman invited the Justice League over one night to discuss Bitcoin investments, but Superman couldn't go because it was a crypto-night.

 

[Josh]

I want to go to the Grand Canyon. I hear it's just gorges.