Bad Jokes

[Jehannum]

A platypus walks into a bar owned by a duck.

He finishes his drink and asks for his check.

Duck billed platypus.

 

[HipHugHer]

I always wondered why vampirism was such a problem in Europe, where they have so many priests. Theoretically, the priest can bless the clouds, so any precipitation would be holy water, right?

I mean, Africa doesn't have vampires, and they blessed the rains down there...

A for effort

 

[Jehannum]

 

[wetwillie]

View attachment 9719

A for effort. B for achievement.
Aww, cute little owlet.

 

[OOD]

View attachment 9719

 

[wetwillie]

ouellette for our Canadian brethren.

 

[wetwillie]

I love that show. You can always get the kids into their 'jams if they are promised a hit of PJM.

 

[gee]

If your stepdad tells you a dad joke, is it a faux pa?

 

[Mean Mr. Mustard]

Theres a new pillow made of corduroy being talked about in all the newspapers
Its really making headlines

 

[adi]

hey speaking of kids programs that beat bugs thing on netflix is not bad at all worth ckhg out for sure

 

[Strings]

A woman calls a psychiatrist "my husband thinks he's a horse".
The psychiatrist says "this sounds serious. Bring him in immediately. But I warn you, treatment could be long and expensive"
The wife replies "Money is no problem, he's already won two races".

 

[HipHugHer]

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationary.

 

[HipHugHer]

The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

 

[wetwillie]

A mexican magician was doing a magic trick. He said, Uno, Dose, and he disappeared without a trace .

 

[wetwillie]

My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, "No, wait! I can change."

 

[wetwillie]

The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.

 

[wetwillie]

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.

 

[HipHugHer]

A vulture boards an airplane carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

 

[OOD]

A mexican magician was doing a magic trick. He said, Uno, Dose, and he disappeared without a trace .

 

[nukes]

Guffaw