Bad Jokes
- Thread starter fly
- Start date
Hahahahahahahahahaha
Farmer Joe has 3 sons.The seasons are getting worse and can't feed the family enough so he says:"Sons,go out and look for the purple sheep.Do not come back without the purple sheep or I'll shoot you."
They go away.
Time passes,oldest son can't take it any more and goes back home without the purple sheep."Pa,I'm your first,I know I have a special place for you,I have failed you please forgive me."
Farmer Joe grabs the double barrel and shoots his son.
Days go by,middle son goes back home without the purple sheep,farmer Joe shots him too.
Few days later the youngest comes back home without the purple sheep.He thinks "well all my bro's are dead,pa can't do it without me so what the heck." He was wrong,farmer Joe shoots him in the head.
A man is riding on a train,enjoying his newspaper.On the front seat there's a lady with a monkey.
The monkey makes a silly sound and jumps on the man's newspaper,tearing a piece of it.Lady apoligizes and man accepts the apology.
Few minutes later,monkey screams and tears the newspaper in half,man says "I'm getting angry lady,take care of your monkey!".Lady apologizes and takes the monkey back.
5 mins later,monkey jumps on the man with a battlecry,tears down the remaining newspaper and scratches the man's face.Quicly man grabs the monkey and throws the monkey out of the window,yelling "MOTHER ******!!!".
Lady starts crying,yelling at the man and pushes the emergency brake button.
She goes to the bushes where the monkey landed,and she finds:
The monkey makes a silly sound and jumps on the man's newspaper,tearing a piece of it.Lady apoligizes and man accepts the apology.
Few minutes later,monkey screams and tears the newspaper in half,man says "I'm getting angry lady,take care of your monkey!".Lady apologizes and takes the monkey back.
5 mins later,monkey jumps on the man with a battlecry,tears down the remaining newspaper and scratches the man's face.Quicly man grabs the monkey and throws the monkey out of the window,yelling "MOTHER ******!!!".
Lady starts crying,yelling at the man and pushes the emergency brake button.
She goes to the bushes where the monkey landed,and she finds:
Hahahahahahahahahaha
Farmer Joe has 3 sons.The seasons are getting worse and can't feed the family enough so he says:"Sons,go out and look for the purple sheep.Do not come back without the purple sheep or I'll shoot you."
They go away.
Time passes,oldest son can't take it any more and goes back home without the purple sheep."Pa,I'm your first,I know I have a special place for you,I have failed you please forgive me."
Farmer Joe grabs the double barrel and shoots his son.
Days go by,middle son goes back home without the purple sheep,farmer Joe shots him too.
Few days later the youngest comes back home without the purple sheep.He thinks "well all my bro's are dead,pa can't do it without me so what the heck." He was wrong,farmer Joe shoots him in the head.
A man is riding on a train,enjoying his newspaper.On the front seat there's a lady with a monkey.
The monkey makes a silly sound and jumps on the man's newspaper,tearing a piece of it.Lady apoligizes and man accepts the apology.
Few minutes later,monkey screams and tears the newspaper in half,man says "I'm getting angry lady,take care of your monkey!".Lady apologizes and takes the monkey back.
5 mins later,monkey jumps on the man with a battlecry,tears down the remaining newspaper and scratches the man's face.Quicly man grabs the monkey and throws the monkey out of the window,yelling "MOTHER ******!!!".
Lady starts crying,yelling at the man and pushes the emergency brake button.
She goes to the bushes where the monkey landed,and she finds:
Ha...haha...hahahahaha
I almost got beaten for telling that joke on multiple occasions. I still haven't heard a worse joke yet.
nukes
I Eat Buttholes Raw
It needs something worse than death.
I'm gonna be mad all day due to that joke.
Reads like an Anton Checkov story, I hate that bastard too.
When I tell it in person, I tell the first part and people have this blank face and tell me "WTF???".
10-15 minutes later I say hey I got another joke and finish the story. It makes it 10 times more annoying.
Darth Handsome
Not Nearly as Handsome as Advertised.
Jehannum
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
Jehannum
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
thintoast
Mayosapien
Jehannum
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
Jehannum
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
Jehannum
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
Jehannum
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
I have kleptomania.
Sometimes, when it gets really bad, I TAKE SOMETHING FOR IT.
Sometimes, when it gets really bad, I TAKE SOMETHING FOR IT.