Jehannum
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
A man went to the hospital with 6 plastic horses up his butt.
Doctors describe his condition as STABLE.
Doctors describe his condition as STABLE.
Bad Jokes
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@my little brony
A young Army officer was severely wounded in the head by a grenade, but the only visible, permanent injury was that both of his ears were amputated. Since his remaining hearing was sufficient, he remained in the Army.
Many years later he eventually rose to the rank of Major General. He was, however, very sensitive about his appearance. One day the General was interviewing three servicemen who were candidates for his headquarters staff.
The first was a Captain, a tactical helicopter pilot, and it was a great interview. At the end of the interview the General asked him, 'Do you notice anything different about me?'
The young officer answered, 'Why, yes, Sir, I couldn't help but notice that you have no ears.'
The general was displeased with his lack of tact and threw him out.
The second was with a Navy Lieutenant, and he was even better. The General then asked him the same question, 'Do you notice anything different about me?'
He replied sheepishly, 'Well, sir, you have no ears.' The General also threw him out.
The third interview was with an old Sergeant Major, an Infantryman and staff-trained NCO. He was smart, articulate, fit, looked sharp, and seemed to know more than the two officers combined. The General liked this guy, and went ahead with the same question, 'Do you notice anything different about me?'
To his surprise the Sergeant Major said, 'Yes, sir, you wear contact lenses.'
The General was very impressed and thought, 'What an incredibly observant NCO, and he didn't mention my ears.' He asked, 'Sergeant Major, how do you know I wear contacts?'
“Well, sir,' the soldier replied, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with no fucking ears.”
A young Army officer was severely wounded in the head by a grenade, but the only visible, permanent injury was that both of his ears were amputated. Since his remaining hearing was sufficient, he remained in the Army.
Many years later he eventually rose to the rank of Major General. He was, however, very sensitive about his appearance. One day the General was interviewing three servicemen who were candidates for his headquarters staff.
The first was a Captain, a tactical helicopter pilot, and it was a great interview. At the end of the interview the General asked him, 'Do you notice anything different about me?'
The young officer answered, 'Why, yes, Sir, I couldn't help but notice that you have no ears.'
The general was displeased with his lack of tact and threw him out.
The second was with a Navy Lieutenant, and he was even better. The General then asked him the same question, 'Do you notice anything different about me?'
He replied sheepishly, 'Well, sir, you have no ears.' The General also threw him out.
The third interview was with an old Sergeant Major, an Infantryman and staff-trained NCO. He was smart, articulate, fit, looked sharp, and seemed to know more than the two officers combined. The General liked this guy, and went ahead with the same question, 'Do you notice anything different about me?'
To his surprise the Sergeant Major said, 'Yes, sir, you wear contact lenses.'
The General was very impressed and thought, 'What an incredibly observant NCO, and he didn't mention my ears.' He asked, 'Sergeant Major, how do you know I wear contacts?'
“Well, sir,' the soldier replied, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with no fucking ears.”
Jehannum
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
Jehannum
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
Jehannum
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
Why didn't Barbie ever get pregnant?
Because Ken came in another box.
Because Ken came in another box.
Jehannum
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
I opened a club called "Erectile Dysfunction".
It was a complete flop and nobody came.
It was a complete flop and nobody came.
Jehannum
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
What do you call a cow with a twitch?
Beef jerky.
Beef jerky.
Jehannum
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
hey @pacojas, go get some pigs and raise them on leftover stalks/leaves/trimmings from your farm. motherfuckin' edible bacon!
Plus you get to watch what pigs look like when they're high as fuck.
Jehannum
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
hey, that reminds me of a bad joke.
did ya hear what happened to farmer John? no mutha fucker!!! what happened? he went to shit and the hogs ate him!yeah, them pigs are mean. so mean, when you fuck with them they look at you while they charge like, "muthafucka, um bout to get all up in the dat ass!!!
that's when you start running