Bad Jokes

[Jehannum]

Two nudists were discussing politics. One says, “Have you read Marx?”

The other nods. “It’s these blasted wicker chairs”.

 

[Jehannum]

I found the manual for my pistol, but I still have trouble shooting.

 

[Jehannum]

If you take the first two letters of each of the 7 Harry Potter books, you get the secret message:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

 

[Jehannum]

I was disappointed when my book "101 novel uses for Binary" came and it only had 5 things in it.

 

[Jehannum]

I'm never donating money to someone for a marathon again. They just take the money and run.

 

[Jehannum]

When a lumberjack doesn't get his way, he throws a timber tantrum.

 

[Jehannum]

I just bought a parachute.

It has a lifetime guarantee.

 

[Jehannum]

You can only cut tiny pizzas with Little Caesars.

 

[Jehannum]

It's not very often that Earth day falls so close to Sun day.

 

[Jehannum]

My goal for the year is to lose 15 pounds. So far I only have 20 pounds to go!

 

[Jehannum]

Horses rarely divorce because they have stable relationships.

 

[Jehannum]

A cow that survived an earthquake is called a milkshake.

 

[Jehannum]

Why did the Tofu cross the road?

To prove it wasn't chicken.

 

[Jehannum]

We had leftover tacos after dinner yesterday, and my wife told me that the kids would never eat them, so throw them out.

So I did, but now I have no idea what to do with the tacos.

 

[Jehannum]

Why did the Stormtrooper buy an iPhone?

Because he couldn't find the droid he was looking for.

 

[Jehannum]

I sold my vacuum cleaner.

It was just gathering dust.

 

[Jehannum]

Puffer fish are the most expensive pets to own.

It's all because of the inflation.

 

[Jehannum]

The best time to clean and lube your slinky is during Spring cleaning.

 

[Jehannum]

If Taylor Swift fans are "Swifties", then are Carrie Underwood fans "Undies"?

 

[Jehannum]

Our electricity company disconnected our service, and now I'm powerless to do anything about it.