Bad Jokes

[tre]

why does Jesus have ripped abs in all the shirtless pictures of him?

'cause he does crossfit lolololol

Nailed it

 

[Jehannum]

I dreamed I wrote the Hobbit last night.

I was Tolkein in my sleep.

 

[Jehannum]

Trump won't go to jail, because he can never complete sentences.

 

[Jehannum]

Why don't chickens wear underwear?

Because their peckers are on their face.

 

[Jehannum]

The sand was wet because the seaweed.

 

[Jehannum]

I hope I win the Zodiac competition.

At the very least, I deserve a constellation prize.

 

[Jehannum]

The capital of Alaska is "A".

 

[Jehannum]

Pirates are angry after using the restroom because after they take away the "P" they're just irate.

 

[Jehannum]

Lorraine broke up with me because she caught me sneaking around Claire Lee.

The good news is that I can see Claire Lee now Lorraine is gone.

 

[Jehannum]

A zookeeper asked a man why he was throwing $10 bills into the elephant enclosure.

The man said, "The sign says it's OK", pointing at a sign that said, "no feeding, $10 fine".

 

[Jehannum]

You know what they say about origami, its value is in creasing.

 

[Jehannum]

The book about clocks I ordered finally came in.

It's about time.

 

[Jehannum]

A group of dolphins is called a Pod, and a group of falcons is called a Cast, so if you ever watch a Miami Dolphins vs Atlanta Falcons game, you're technically watching a pod-cast.

 

[tre]

The most dangerous type of canoes are volcanoes

 

[Jehannum]

I tripped once in Paris.

Eiffel over.

 

[Jehannum]

I bought a Van Gogh coffee table.

It has a lot of veneer missing.

 

[Jehannum]

A thief tried to steal a sculpture of a woman, but accidentally broke it in two and then got caught by the police.

The whole thing was a bust.

 

[Jehannum]

You can only count cows with a cow-culator.

 

[Jehannum]

I can't seem to remember the joke I made about my spinal injury. It doesn't show up in search, but it was about a week back.

 

[gee]

How does a non-binary person murder someone?

They / them lololol