Bad Jokes

[Jehannum]

What do a tick and the Eiffel tower have in common?

They're both Paris-sites.

 

[Jehannum]

When a painter gets cold, he puts on another coat.

 

[Jehannum]

I put plastic wrap over my TV's speakers, because Saran-sound is all the rage these days.

 

[Jehannum]

KFC's bathrooms have no toilet paper because it's finger-lickin' good.

 

[Mean Mr. Mustard]

 

[Jehannum]

Not on your bucket list?

 

[Jehannum]

Are people born with photographic memory, or do they develop it?

 

[Jehannum]

Did you hear about the guy who evaporated?

He will be mist.

 

[Jehannum]

Why does the superconductor fall in love with all the girls?

He just can't resistor.

 

[Jehannum]

When the metalworker got transformed into a frog, he said, "Rivet rivet".

 

[Jehannum]

I've found the most painful kind of cheese is ow-cheese.

 

[Jehannum]

The right triangle couldn't get a date, because it wasn't acute enough.

 

[Jehannum]

My mom asked me, "What German city had a republic named after it?"
I said, "Wiemar?"
She replied, "Because I want to know"

 

[Jehannum]

I hired a former pirate to do my landscaping.

His company is Yarrrrrrd Maintenance.

 

[Jehannum]

When my son was using my old TI-30x calculator as a teething helper, he was pretty much just crunching numbers.

 

[Jehannum]

In advance of my wife's birthday, she left jewelry catalogs all over the house.

I took the hint, and got her a magazine rack.

 

[Jehannum]

I'm late because I couldn't stop staring at the orange juice bottle this morning.

It said, "Concentrate".

 

[Jehannum]

Someone just chucked a coke at my head, but I'm OK, it was a soft drink.

 

[Jehannum]

What do you get if you cross an octopus with an elephant?

Your funding cut, and a visit from the ethics committee.

 

[tre]

When you die, your pupils are the last part of your body to stop working because they dilate.