Bad Jokes

[Jehannum]

Experts agree: the best time of year to use a trampoline is Spring.

 

[Jehannum]

I know exactly how many trees I've cut down in my lifetime, because I kept a log.

 

[Jehannum]

Did you hear about the bakery that burned down?

It's toast.

 

[Jehannum]

What do Greek cows say?

μ

 

[Jehannum]

I argued with the cashier that my bill was $7.23, not $723.

He didn't get the point.

 

[Jehannum]

Did you guys hear about the new corduroy pillow cases?

They're really making headlines!

 

[Jehannum]

So what if I don't know the meaning of "Apocalypse"?

It's not the end of the world.

 

[Jehannum]

A programmer loses his mind bit by bit.

 

[Jehannum]

I gave up my seat to a blind person on the bus.

And that's how I lost my job as a bus driver.

 

[Jehannum]

The results of the bridge suicide yesterday on Alameda and I-25 prove the jumper was not, in fact, a bouncer.

 

[Jehannum]

You know you've got a good lawyer when he wears his lawsuit to court.

 

[Jehannum]

I have a good COVID-19 joke, but I don't want to spread it.

 

[Jehannum]

Tried to flip the calendar page on Sunday, but the kids set me up for failure by removing a whole month.

I was dismayed.

 

[Jehannum]

There was a Roman who was sentenced to fight in the coliseum for cannibalism. He had eaten his wife.

You'd think he had regrets, but he was gladiator.

 

[Jehannum]

May the fourth be with you!

But look, if you're expecting a Star Wars pun from me, you're really looking in Alderaan places.

 

[Jehannum]

The stuttering prisoner died, because he couldn't finish his sentence.

 

[Jehannum]

The Death Star was measured in feet, because they preferred Imperial units.

 

[Jehannum]

@AppleTurkey bet me $1000 I couldn't turn spaghetti into a car.

You should have seen her face when I drove pasta.

 

[Jehannum]

Did you know Jar Jar Binks had a brother who was a famous author?

Jor Jor Well.

 

[gee]

Went to a gender reveal party earlier.

I was awfully embarrassed when I was the only naked person there.