Bad Jokes

[Jehannum]

When I was young, my parents bathed me in Australian lager.

It wasn't until I was grown that I realized I'd been Fostered.

 

[gee]

You won't grow any plants if you haven't botany.

 

[Jehannum]

Mario is a Japanese character. So his family name is likely Itsumi.

Or in Japanese name order it would be Itsumi Mario.

 

[Mean Mr. Mustard]

 

[Jehannum]

I'm sure there used to be fig-flavored lifesavers, but nobody believes me.

Maybe they're just a fig mint of my imagination.

 

[Jehannum]

I like jokes about steaks. It's a rare medium well done.

 

[tre]

My penis used to be in the Guinness Book of Records. The librarian was super pissed.

 

[gee]

Since your mom does them for fun and not for a living, wouldn't that make them blowhobbies?

 

[Jehannum]

The guy who invented the Ferris wheel never met the guy who invented the merry-go-round.

They traveled in different circles.

 

[Jehannum]

Why do we have poptarts but no momtarts?

The pastryarchy.

 

[Josh]

Why did the mermaid make her bra out of seashells?

Spoiler

Because she could not fit into b-shells.

 

[tre]

I recently started breeding racing deer, just trying to make a quick buck.

 

[Mean Mr. Mustard]

 

[Jehannum]

Went to a new dentist for the first time. He asked, "Do you smoke or drink coffee"?

I said, "I drink it!"

 

[Jehannum]

A peanut with a cold is called a cashew.

 

[Jehannum]

Optimist: the glass is half full.

Pessimist: the glass is half empty.

Excel: the glass is January 2nd.

 

[Mean Mr. Mustard]

Iron Man fights crime
Aluminum Man foils it

 

[Jehannum]

What starts with an "E", ends with an "E", and only contains one letter?

Envelope.

 

[gee]

If you work with someone who carries a briefcase to work, ask them if they're an underwear salesman.

"well why else do you carry a BRIEF CASE?"

 

[Jehannum]

Body building is Dr. Frankenstein's favorite exercise.