I went to a fortune teller. She was beautiful and I could tell right away she was attracted to me.
The first thing she predicted, after looking into her crystal ball, was I was about to have sex with a beautiful fortune teller.
And we did, right there on the table.
After it was over, she lit a cigarette, took a drag and then handed it to me.
She then picked up her crystal ball, stared into it and said "you'll notice a rash in a few days ".
Going to bump my own post because it happened to be on the same page while looking for a good joke....
Stopped counting days, even months. Nothing about alcohol phases me anymore. It's in the house and people drink around me all the time, no interest. It's a set of reccuring small choices that contribute towards choosing a better life.