Bad Jokes

Long ago, a fisherman heard beautiful singing while he was alone at sea. He followed the enchanting voice until he came upon a singing yellowfin tuna.

He knew he had found something incredible. He caught the fish, kept it alive, and returned home. He showed his friends and everyone loved it.

It could sing almost anything, but Pavarotti was its favorite.

The fisherman later toured with the fish and was so popular he sold shirts as fast as he could stock them, so he ordered thousands of short sleeve shirts made in advance of an upcoming concert.

Unfortunately the fish died, and the public lost interest.

The fisherman was left with endless opera tuna tees.
 
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There once were two brothers: Stan and Sam Clam. One day, Sam Clam died in an unfortunate accident. Stan Clam was devastated and wallowed in sorrow for several months.

Seeing his anguish, Stan Clam's guardian angel decided to intervene. The angel appeared to Stan and offered him a chance to visit his brother in heaven to say a final good bye.

At the Pearly Gate, Peter gave Stan Clam a couple of items to help him get around while visiting heaven: A halo, a harp, and a pair of wings.

Stan Clam rushed off to visit his brother and was elated to discover that Sam Clam was running a disco in heaven.

They spent a full day partying at the disco and catching up before saying their final goodbyes. Stan Clam was relieved and felt he had found closure with his brother's untimely death.

On the way home, Sam Clam stopped back at the Pearly Gate to return his borrowed items to Peter. He handed back his halo and his wings. When Peter asked him about the harp, Stan was unable to locate it.

"Oops," he exclaimed, "I left my harp in Sam Clam's Disco."
 
Jehannum said:
There once were two brothers: Stan and Sam Clam. One day, Sam Clam died in an unfortunate accident. Stan Clam was devastated and wallowed in sorrow for several months.

Seeing his anguish, Stan Clam's guardian angel decided to intervene. The angel appeared to Stan and offered him a chance to visit his brother in heaven to say a final good bye.

At the Pearly Gate, Peter gave Stan Clam a couple of items to help him get around while visiting heaven: A halo, a harp, and a pair of wings.

Stan Clam rushed off to visit his brother and was elated to discover that Sam Clam was running a disco in heaven.

They spent a full day partying at the disco and catching up before saying their final goodbyes. Stan Clam was relieved and felt he had found closure with his brother's untimely death.

On the way home, Sam Clam stopped back at the Pearly Gate to return his borrowed items to Peter. He handed back his halo and his wings. When Peter asked him about the harp, Stan was unable to locate it.

"Oops," he exclaimed, "I left my harp in Sam Clam's Disco."
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A long road to a little house. Totally on topic. ;/
 
Two astronauts were on the space station, orbiting the Earth.

The first astronaut said, "I want some coffee, but I can't find any milk".

The second one replied, "In space, no one can. Here, use cream."
 
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