Greetings, Children of the Corny. You know the drill, folks. Good news, this months prizes will be brought to you by Floptical. You have until midnight to post your most horrific, grotesque, macabre, and holloween jokes. Good luck, folks!
Bad Joke Monday
- Thread starter InnerMuse
- Start date
I'm sorry, but nothing will be funnier than watching April repeatedly gagging after drinking out of the grease trap.
floptical is doing prizes now? Did you guys really meat up on friday and hump? nicee!!!!!!!!! lol
There are pics in the official meet thread. No video though. Immediately after swallowing, she made a face, gagged, pulled her hair back and gagged again. You could see her turning green.
I WAS feeling better saturday night so I went out, stayed out till like 9am drinkin and now I feel like hell again. go figure
Apparently, if you dare April to do anything, she will. To test the theory, I dared her to partake of my liquid lipid collection facility. I compared her to a tiny feline and she then agreed to rise to the occasion. We did not even have to use fiduciary incentives to compel her.
A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if the store carries extra-large condoms. “Yes we do,” he says. “Would you like to buy some?” “No,” she replies. “But do you mind if I wait around until someone does?”
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A man enters the hospital for a circumcision. When he comes to after the procedure, he’s perturbed to see several doctors standing around his bed.
“Son, there’s been a bit of a mix-up,” admits the surgeon. “I’m afraid there was an accident, and we were forced to perform a sex-change operation. You now have a vagina instead of a penis.”
“What!” gasps the patient. “You mean I’ll never experience another erection?”
“Oh, you might,” the surgeon reassures him. “Just not yours.”
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Three cowboys — from Oklahoma, Arkansas, and Texas—are sitting around a fire. The Oklahoma cowboy gloats, “Just the other day, a bull gored six men in the corral, but I wrestled it to the ground with my hands.”
The Arkansan replies, “Oh, yeah? Yesterday a 15-foot rattler came at me, so I grabbed it, bit its head off, and spit the poison into a spittoon 15 yards away.”
The Texan stays quiet, slowly stirring the coals with his penis.
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A man and his wife go to the site of their honeymoon for their 25th anniversary. As the couple is reflecting on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asks the husband, “When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?”
The husband replies, “All I wanted to do was fuck your brains out and suck your tits dry.”
“What are you thinking now?” the wife asks as she undresses.
The husband quickly replies: “It looks like I did a pretty good job.”
__________________________________________________
A man enters the hospital for a circumcision. When he comes to after the procedure, he’s perturbed to see several doctors standing around his bed.
“Son, there’s been a bit of a mix-up,” admits the surgeon. “I’m afraid there was an accident, and we were forced to perform a sex-change operation. You now have a vagina instead of a penis.”
“What!” gasps the patient. “You mean I’ll never experience another erection?”
“Oh, you might,” the surgeon reassures him. “Just not yours.”
_____________________________________________________
Three cowboys — from Oklahoma, Arkansas, and Texas—are sitting around a fire. The Oklahoma cowboy gloats, “Just the other day, a bull gored six men in the corral, but I wrestled it to the ground with my hands.”
The Arkansan replies, “Oh, yeah? Yesterday a 15-foot rattler came at me, so I grabbed it, bit its head off, and spit the poison into a spittoon 15 yards away.”
The Texan stays quiet, slowly stirring the coals with his penis.
______________________________________________
A man and his wife go to the site of their honeymoon for their 25th anniversary. As the couple is reflecting on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asks the husband, “When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?”
The husband replies, “All I wanted to do was fuck your brains out and suck your tits dry.”
“What are you thinking now?” the wife asks as she undresses.
The husband quickly replies: “It looks like I did a pretty good job.”
So just the word "dare" works? April I dare you to actually have sex with fly
Crazy. That shit'll kill you.
I'm kind of the same way, but I wouldn't drink pig fat for fuck's sake.
A girl at a bar was mouthing off at happy hour one night so I told her to shut the hell up or I'd pour my beer over her head. She dared me, so I did. She then dared me two more times, so I did.
Apparently I didn't understand that "OMFG I fucking dare you to do that again you stupid asshole" was intended as more of a threat than an actual dare.
Great start, gentilemen. b sinning is in the lead with 4 points, djface gets a bonus point for the holloween themed, lesbian-vampire joke.
Update: djface is in the lead with 6 points.
Update: djface is in the lead with 6 points.
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On the night of a Halloween costume party a couple were having trouble picking suitable outfits. After a while the wife got mad and stormed out of the room.
Fifteen minutes later she came back completely naked except for a lemon between her legs. The husband looked at her for a moment and then stormed out of the room himself.
Twenty minutes passed and then he came back himself with a potato around his manhood. His wife gave him a weird look and then the husband replied, "If you're going as a sour-puss, I'm going as a dictator."
Fifteen minutes later she came back completely naked except for a lemon between her legs. The husband looked at her for a moment and then stormed out of the room himself.
Twenty minutes passed and then he came back himself with a potato around his manhood. His wife gave him a weird look and then the husband replied, "If you're going as a sour-puss, I'm going as a dictator."