Baby Baby Mama drama

wetwillie

Know-It-All Pee-Paw
May 24, 2018
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Oh, I just felt to share.
1. My son knocked up a young lady 16 years ago - they didn't get married(probably for the best), never lived together - but we have maintained great contact with our grand-daughter. 8 days a month for the first 5 years. Every 1-2 month now.
2. Son marries someone else and has a child a year later.
3. It has recently been brought to our attention:

a. We suck because we wanted him to marry the first gal, just so things wouldn't be f'd up. Well yeah, in theory . .
b. We suck because we at one time were going to adopt our grandchild(girl).
c. We have OBVIOUSLY considered the second woman a homewreck and slut, because her dad told her that's how it would be. Odd, we thought there never was a home to be broken.
d. We obviously have plans to LEAVE ALL OUR FUCKING MONEY TO THAT BASTARD CHILD!!! Truly, DIL suggested we just go ahead and do that. hmmph!
e. We're just toxic AF for all of the above.

I'm the most offended they didn't have the decency to tell us this shit years ago. Feel so used.
Sad that the DIL has such unbridled hatred toward her 2 children's half-sister. Whom they have met.

*The baby mama - great gal, married a nice guy, had another baby with him, seems one big happy family. I swear the BM is such a nice person, she'd welcome those half-sibs into HER house in a heartbeat. Oy vay.
 
I couldn't keep all the characters straight but welcome to my life, Eddie!
If you'll notice when y'all get together it's not the kids who have a problem with each other, it's the grown-ups.
That's called a clue.
 
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Man that woman sounds toxic and nuts. How's she treat your son?
THanks for engaging - this situation came up a month ago and my head has been exploding with the stupidity that came boiling out.|

To understand woman #2 and my son, you need to know this: right after he broke up with the BM, he left town to go to a Baptist Bible College. Serious - he had started going to one of their churches(due to some girl) and seems to really like the judgy-fudgy, Trumperism of it all. Totally opposite of his upbringing: Methodist, drinkers, social liberal, etc. Soooooo, everything in their life is a "play"(fake AF imo) of a good Baptist couple. Back on Story(BOS)

She is a total pushover and he is a total control freak. She doesn't work outside the home, even when they are broke.

How this all came bubbling out was a bit funny, in hindsight. I was doing a bunch of work on their first house in the winter, yes for free - kids were freezing, etc. Probably dropped $5k. Also shoved some money in my DIL's hand every visit since she was telling me how they had nothing to eat and the kids were eating PB and white bread 3 meals a day. And brought some stuff they would never buy, like fresh fruit. They tell me in Feb 21 they are 7 months behind on the mortgage but sliding due to covid relief measures. In April they buy a $1600 cat. :oops: Apparently they suspected I would think this is really dumb under the circumstances and they ask their 3 siblings to lie about it and don't even admit to having GOT the cat. I heard about it and called my son, " I heard about this cat - this seems like an odd purchase when you were broke a few months ago and I had to dump a bunch of money into your financial system because I was worried you folks would get into deeper shit, like when that 25 yr old furnaces dies." And then the fight started. :) I understand I am partly to blame - I thought they had some obligation to be "fiscally responsible" since I had tapped pretty hard into the kitty(money) I consider part of my longer-term, emergency family help-out pool. Lesson for me is: I have no control so I should be much tighter with helping adults out. Shame about the grandkids though.
 
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your son is a shithead
THis is true.
He wanted to deep-six he had the first kid and he wanted us to deep six her too. Oh hell no - I am way too old-school papa familius for that shit!
Sadness is going to the BM's house for a b-day party and feeling compelled to tell a member of her husband's family "thanks for providing a nice family life for my granddaughter." Since we really can't be In it. Not in a "make plans to do shit together" way. My son doesn't even call her - not even on her birthday. I doubt he forgets, it's the day before his. idk, maybe one of those times he ended up in a ditch he really did bump his head too hard.
 
Correction: this actually started due to the bill collector that kept calling my house in May. First I just texted son to let him know. Then I heard about the expensive pussy and got, admittedly, a bit judgy-fudgy. I really need to be less generous, they are adults with their own damned adult problems. Just like me. I got no backup person to call - now they don't either.
 
There's no such thing as a $1600 cat.
Oh, there most certainly is. Maine Coons. FFs, I looked at the breeders site - that thing must have been a runt with 3 legs. Their prices started at 2500.

But yeah, when people are giving away cats and the kid has never had a cat, I think it could have been pulled off for much less. Under the existing conditions of near poverty and perpetual running from bill collectors. My son can make great bank as a salesman, he has the gift!! Unfortunately, he gets into mischief, gets judgy-fudgy on his co-workers and management and thus spends 1/3 of every year unemployed. Doing Shipt,etc. Doesn't have to be that way. Like a black dude told me once about my oldest brother,"nah man, dont; feel bad. He's a good looking white man, if a @&^^ can get a job, that shit is on him." Then to be nice he added, "you're cool, I see you all over this strip, working on people's buildings and shit on the weekend and evenings. Plus you have a day job!" All true.
 
Sounds like there is now more shared and respectful with the ex than with his current life choices. It's a shame and families are complicated, the connection you have with your eldest granddaughter sounds special, even if her dad is acting like a jackass. As you say, you can't control anything but your own choices.
 
Sounds like there is now more shared and respectful with the ex than with his current life choices. It's a shame and families are complicated, the connection you have with your eldest granddaughter sounds special, even if her dad is acting like a jackass. As you say, you can't control anything but your own choices.
honestly, we never had any loss of respect or issue with the mom, we have been there for her from day one. She really is a nice person, it would have been hell for her if she had married my son. I remember her playing frisbee here and me wacking her in the nose. We all laughed, then I fired up the grill. She and "Paul"(hubby) have came to all our family weddings and graduations. My granddaughter was flower girl for my oldest step-daughter. :)
We've had meals at her parent's house.
I've seen other people handle this shit with dignity. Doesn't have to be hard. Shouldn't be 'special'.

Thanks again - this is a good weekend for a Dad to ponder all things Dad. I'll move on Monday :)
 
Sixth of seven kids, no college until adulthood, HS dropout, hourly wage forever, twice divorced, alcoholic, smoked cigarettes from age 13-53, and first to the finish line. All of my siblings are educated, have careers, successful marriages, etc.

I am the champion. Hehe balance. It’s people like me that keep the overall competition level lower for you winners. Thank ME
 
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