Halp Aussie considers business ownership

Domon said:
im not sure you are an adult. Thats the attitude of a rebellious 21 year old.

They just moved literally to the other side of the world. Its extenuating circumstances
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No it means I wouldn't honestly have moved unless I could afford to live on my own.

Not judging them, but it's not something I could ever do.

Once married and out of the house we've done everything in our power to never take money or mooch off of our family. To me *that* is being a grown up. To rely on your parents is to be a mooch IMO.
 
helenabear said:
No it means I wouldn't honestly have moved unless I could afford to live on my own.

Not judging them, but it's not something I could ever do.

Once married and out of the house we've done everything in our power to never take money or mooch off of our family. To me *that* is being a grown up. To rely on your parents is to be a mooch IMO.
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See I don't see it as mooching.
Family is about helping each other.

Mooching would be if they did nothing in their power to make their lives better or move ahead.
If my son ever moved away and then hhad to come back to sort some things out or get ahead would help him or I would encourage him to come and stay with me in order for him to get ahead. I just see this as the family helping another family out.

But I also see what you might be leaning towards that your particular family isn't a family that you would want to spend much time with.
 
Also it's not like they just got kicked out of their house or left their house for financial reasons and needed to crash at their parents house. This was a trans Atlantic move. Staying with relatives is absolutely the best option with such a huge move. I say this because I have done it myself.
 
It's truly a different point of view for me I think. Neither is right or wrong. I haven't been reliant on my family at all since I got married and while I would help my family and take someone in, *I* couldn't stay long term.

I hated even staying a week with my dad when we were without power during 100 degree temps. It bothers me to do that, but I'd be giving enough to let them stay with us as well.

It's kind of hard to explain. I feel family is there to help each other, but I like being the one to do the helping. I feel a loss of pride maybe if I take it from others.

I've even had a hard time with family gifting money to my son for education and stuff. But I also realize they want to help so I take it and invest it well.

So for me this would be the wrong time to do it. I could see if others feel the same way too. However I understand that others don't have an issue with it and I seriously do not judge at all.
 
Oh for sure it's definitely about point of view. I agree.

But I think that in this case it's a little different with a move that took them halfway across the world. They are literally starting all over from zero. Help from your loved ones and family is absolutely crucial, that support is needed with such a huge move.

Again if they had no plans on moving out if they had no plans of having a job and if they just sat there and did nothing I think that would totally qualify as a mooch.

Also between my mother and my father I think I would rather live with my father if I had to for any reason.
With my mother I think that I would want to be in and out as soon as possible where as my dad is now more laid-back and I have a better relationship with him so I wouldn't be super quick and rushed to move away from him. He makes me feel comfortable and that I can stay with him, my mom stresses me out more.
Maybe you have a similar thing with your family?
 
Let me clarify - what they did is not mooching in my eyes.

Moving across the world is rough and having family there is a great thing and I don't see any issues with it at all. I just think at this specific point after moving months ago is not the time to sit there and say "well I don't like working, so I'm going to use my parents to start a new job" Like if that had started from the beginning of moving (or a month or so in) that it'd be far more understandable. If they are looking to move out and get a car, I don't think this is the time to gamble with starting a new business.

I can understand why he'd wait to start something new. I can understand wanting to really settle in a place. I can understand the need to have a more quiet environment to work (boy do I!!!!) and thinking that after everything is far more settled that it'd be a time to start then.

I don't think it is wise to say "Hey you have your parents, so just rely on them" because for me I'd be working on getting out of there to get my quiet environment to work, not finding something that might cause me to stay longer in a place where working might not be good.

As for my family I could live with most of them. My dad gave us enough space when we were at his house, but I just can't do it long term myself. It's a total pride thing and nothing else. If it were me moving across the country or something like Luis dying I'd definitely rely on my family more. I just would try to get on my own as quick as I can :)

EDIT: the whole mooching thing was specifically for fly's comment about parents making for a good back up plan. I think that's a poor mentality to have really. Try on your own first and if you absolutely need then go for help, but IMO jumping to a new business without much thought while a partner is unable to bring in income and having a child is not a wise thing to do. If you were fired and relied on your parent that's one thing, but to just quit and not have a real plan and have a family to worry about is another.
 
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helenabear said:
Let me clarify - what they did is not mooching in my eyes.

Moving across the world is rough and having family there is a great thing and I don't see any issues with it at all. I just think at this specific point after moving months ago is not the time to sit there and say "well I don't like working, so I'm going to use my parents to start a new job" Like if that had started from the beginning of moving (or a month or so in) that it'd be far more understandable. If they are looking to move out and get a car, I don't think this is the time to gamble with starting a new business.

I can understand why he'd wait to start something new. I can understand wanting to really settle in a place. I can understand the need to have a more quiet environment to work (boy do I!!!!) and thinking that after everything is far more settled that it'd be a time to start then.

I don't think it is wise to say "Hey you have your parents, so just rely on them" because for me I'd be working on getting out of there to get my quiet environment to work, not finding something that might cause me to stay longer in a place where working might not be good.

As for my family I could live with most of them. My dad gave us enough space when we were at his house, but I just can't do it long term myself. It's a total pride thing and nothing else. If it were me moving across the country or something like Luis dying I'd definitely rely on my family more. I just would try to get on my own as quick as I can :)

EDIT: the whole mooching thing was specifically for fly's comment about parents making for a good back up plan. I think that's a poor mentality to have really. Try on your own first and if you absolutely need then go for help, but IMO jumping to a new business without much thought while a partner is unable to bring in income and having a child is not a wise thing to do. If you were fired and relied on your parent that's one thing, but to just quit and not have a real plan and have a family to worry about is another.
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Yep I totally get what you mean. :hugs:
I guess you do have some valid points I mean there is a wife and A child at stake. So of course decisions and risks need to be taken with caution. I guess I was just giving my opinion from my experience, because I'm the type of person to throw caution to the wind hoping things will work out my way. Sometimes it does sometimes it doesn't. But life is about taking risks.
 
Fat Lola said:
Yep I totally get what you mean. :hugs:
I guess you do have some valid points I mean there is a wife and A child at stake. So of course decisions and risks need to be taken with caution. I guess I was just giving my opinion from my experience, because I'm the type of person to throw caution to the wind hoping things will work out my way. Sometimes it does sometimes it doesn't. But life is about taking risks.
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I think that's what I was saying - caution needs to be taken before jumping. I know people here have quit jobs (me too) but sometimes serious thought has to be taken.

Given how much love I usually give Liam here (yes that's sarcasm) I actually don't read his comments as "just excuses" To me they are valid.

I'm probably more cautious than some though. I do some risks but not others. I am less risky with anything that could seriously affect my family. I even had to have a sit down with Luis when my boss asked me to do more work knowing it could affect my time at home and maybe I'd have to hire a part time nanny. Just how I roll and I know others aren't that way and of course speaking generally about some of this too since we don't know all details.
 
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helenabear said:
No it means I wouldn't honestly have moved unless I could afford to live on my own.

Not judging them, but it's not something I could ever do.

Once married and out of the house we've done everything in our power to never take money or mooch off of our family. To me *that* is being a grown up. To rely on your parents is to be a mooch IMO.
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But being there for your family if they need you is what family is all about. It's not mooching at all. Right now I live in my parents house (extra house, not with them) rent free, just pay for electricity and such, and I'm super thankful my parents were both willing and able to provide this house for me. If the situation is ever reversed and family needs help from me, I hope I'm in a place where I can offer the same, even if it means letting them live with me for a time.
 
Fat Lola said:
See I don't see it as mooching.
Family is about helping each other.

Mooching would be if they did nothing in their power to make their lives better or move ahead.
If my son ever moved away and then hhad to come back to sort some things out or get ahead would help him or I would encourage him to come and stay with me in order for him to get ahead. I just see this as the family helping another family out.

But I also see what you might be leaning towards that your particular family isn't a family that you would want to spend much time with.
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What she said as well.

Edit: I also went back and reread what you said. I agree that quitting your job and saying "I'll just live with my parents forever if it doesn't work" is a poor way to approach it. If he wants to quit and try to start something new that could leave them reliant on their parents for longer, they need to talk to his parents about it and determine if it's feasible and the best solution for everyone.
 
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@helenabear Correct me if im wrong, but i get the strong feeling you've never worked or lived anywhere but oiho. Or if you have, you had coqui with you.

Not having done that (assumption), you dont know how difficult it can be to buy a home, or to find a job, in someplace 600 miles away. Are you going to spend enormous expense flying out every time you have an interview?, or every time you want to look at a house to buy? Having someone to stay with, so that you can do these things locally, makes the job 100X easier.

Now multiply all that by 10X for @Applesauce and @123 as theyre in an entirely different country, where its impossible for them to be zipping back and forth setting things up without a foundation.
 
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Domon said:
@helenabear Correct me if im wrong, but i get the strong feeling you've never worked or lived anywhere but oiho. Or if you have, you had coqui with you.

Not having done that (assumption), you dont know how difficult it can be to buy a home, or to find a job, in someplace 600 miles away. Are you going to spend enormous expense flying out every time you have an interview?, or every time you want to look at a house to buy? Having someone to stay with, so that you can do these things locally, makes the job 100X easier.

Now multiply all that by 10X for @Applesauce and @123 as theyre in an entirely different country, where its impossible for them to be zipping back and forth setting things up without a foundation.
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Last time I'll say it

The mooching was in direct response to using parents as a back up plan

Nothing else.

EDIT: In fact I even said I wasn't judging them for what they did at all. So please don't try to start something that I wasn't even talking about anyway. Especially since I was actually siding with @123 on this one.
 
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Fat Lola said:
I was thinking the exact same thing... Was gonna post but we all know how shitty the threads turn and the subject at hand isn't really kind to accepting advice/info/suggestions/ideas/thoughts etc. so I've just kinda been reading...
But
I agree with you flytrap! Why wait to have more added on responsibilities/commitments (car/house) to start a new venture. This is the time! when a back up plan such as living with parents is sooooo readily available this is the time to take risks and dabble.
Having all that other extra responsibility makes it harder and riskier as those things depend and rely on stability.
New country
New life
New adventure
New career focus
This is the time to just jump in.

I've always taken huge risks in my life, I can't live on the sideline waiting... Sure sometimes it hasn't worked out.. But for the most part, the risks have been worth it.
Also.. A positive mind heart and soul go a lonnnnng way.
Being negative and putting up road block after roadblock will get you nowhere in a hurry.

/my2canadiancents
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:heart:
 
helenabear said:
Eh maybe I'm an adult about this but living with my parents long term? No fucking way in hell!!!!!!!!!!

I'd do everything in my power to get the fuck out of there which is exactly the wrong time to start something that may or may not make money.

Not everyone has loads of money saved up or access to it.

Not everyone also wants the stress of wondering when the money comes in.

They talk of needing a car and getting a house. Do that first. Have Juli able to finally get a job there. Get really settled THEN leap.

Don't be a douche and mooch off parents.

JMO.
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:heart:


Btw, we live with his parents because as we were going to move out in February, they sat us down & his father ASKED us to stay with heartfelt reasoning such as the desire to spend as much time as possible with his grandson before they move to their Queensland house in September.

This arrangement is actually common in Ozland & people actually build "granny flats" in their yards to accommodate parents at times!

We had the choice. We stayed. We are dealing....
Luckily, the house is a very cool layout and we're not on top of one another.

Annoying at times? Hell yes!!
But, they are kind and generous & I feel lucky to have such wonderful people in my life.
 
Applesauce said:
Also, there is no "mooching"... We pay bills.
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I feel bad really - I wasn't implying *you* were mooching. Just really saying as a reason why you shouldn't rely on parents all the time to do less secure business things right away. In fact that whole post wasn't directed at you at all just to one comment.

That's awesome they want you to stay there that long and I totally get that. On a smaller scale my son is on spring break this week and my dad has been taking him a bunch. He knows that other than summers, starting next year my son will have very little time with him on a regular basis so he wants him. I actually had to say today that I wanted him with me and just me tomorrow.

I know many other places in the world staying with family is a norm. Sometimes I think we're ass backwards here.

I just didn't want you to think I was pissing on you guys. I really was reacting to just one comment truly and not related to you. I never judge people for staying with family especially when invited to stay like that.

I'm curious though, you said another house? Do they kind of "snowbird" it and go elsewhere part of the year or are they moving long term?
 
helenabear said:
I feel bad really - I wasn't implying *you* were mooching. Just really saying as a reason why you shouldn't rely on parents all the time to do less secure business things right away. In fact that whole post wasn't directed at you at all just to one comment.

That's awesome they want you to stay there that long and I totally get that. On a smaller scale my son is on spring break this week and my dad has been taking him a bunch. He knows that other than summers, starting next year my son will have very little time with him on a regular basis so he wants him. I actually had to say today that I wanted him with me and just me tomorrow.

I know many other places in the world staying with family is a norm. Sometimes I think we're ass backwards here.

I just didn't want you to think I was pissing on you guys. I really was reacting to just one comment truly and not related to you. I never judge people for staying with family especially when invited to stay like that.

I'm curious though, you said another house? Do they kind of "snowbird" it and go elsewhere part of the year or are they moving long term?
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Nooooooo, I totally got that you weren't being condescending, but I just wanted to clarify, cuz Yea.... The whole living with parents deal. But, it's not as it seems, so I wanted to essplain.

His father just retired from 41 yrs in the Navy. He was on this side of the country to finish out his last posting. This house is the house they built in 1998, lived in it for less than a year & his father was suddenly posted to the US for 4 years.

They bought their Queensland house last year. It's their retirement house & amazingly beautiful. It's like a mini resort. They have tenants there right now, so they can't go there just yet, until Sept. Queensland is the East Coast. We are West coast, thus the desire to spend all the time possible with the child, (and us), in close proximity.

It's been 10 + years since Liam's lived here & they want everyone close for a bit. :)
 
Applesauce said:
Nooooooo, I totally got that you weren't being condescending, but I just wanted to clarify, cuz Yea.... The whole living with parents deal. But, it's not as it seems, so I wanted to essplain.

His father just retired from 41 yrs in the Navy. He was on this side of the country to finish out his last posting. This house is the house they built in 1998, lived in it for less than a year & his father was suddenly posted to the US for 4 years.

They bought their Queensland house last year. It's their retirement house & amazingly beautiful. It's like a mini resort. They have tenants there right now, so they can't go there just yet, until Sept. Queensland is the East Coast. We are West coast, thus the desire to spend all the time possible with the child, (and us), in close proximity.

It's been 10 + years since Liam's lived here & they want everyone close for a bit. :)
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Are you guys going to stay where you're at or do you want to move east too?
 
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