[Front Page] Article: The Delicious. Sandwich of the kings.

fly

Osharts 11
Oct 1, 2004
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mattressfish
I posted a picture the other day in the MMS thread of a sandwich. This was not just some crappy PB&J, pulled pork, or Kobe beef sandwich. This sandwich is called The Delicious. I'm not sure why it's named that, except I am - cause I named it. It's made with massive deliciousness and don't even attempt what you're about to see if you're some sort of vegan, hippy candyass. I specifically had to make this behemoth while my special lady was at work, since she is a hippy candyass that doesn't like bacon. Had the sandwich known that, it may have exploded in her face like the finish line.

So anyway you Hulkamania fans, let's get some hair on your chest and do The Delicious.

First things first. Onions are lame. Let's give 'em a turbo boost. These are scallions sliced thin. We're pickling them in some apple cider vinegar, couple pumps of sugar, and a pinch of salt. Let them sit for at least 30 minutes.
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Next up. Guess? No wait, I don't care what your guess is. Bacon. Oh yeah, and maple-fucking-syrup. Coat both sides and into a 350 degree oven for 20 minutes
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Now we get to the only condiment blend you're ever going to want again. Throw away your ketchup, brioche, and grey poopon. Siracha mayo bitches! Add as much Siracha as your little powder puff ass can take.
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DING BACON IS DONE
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Now, if you're really good, you'll use some amazing ho-made sandwich bread like me. If you're some punk, use Wonderbread and then fist yourself.
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Take your ho-made slices, slather one side in mayo, and drop it into a skillet preheated over medium heat. Yeah, its grilled bread, but screw the butter. Much like the condiments, you'll never grill another sandwich with anything but mayo from now on. Word is bond.
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Is that some French toast? No, cause the French are pussies. Not only does this not smell like the French, it tastes like your first girlfriend.

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Fry an egg. You don't need a pic of that, just do it.

And finally assemble in the following order:

1. Bread
2. Siracha mayo
3. Bacon
4. Bacon
5. Egg
6. Pickled onions
7. Siracha mayo
8. Bread

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Finally, eat it. And then go claw up some walls, real man. You've earned it.
 

Domon

Robotic Dexter
May 19, 2011
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an egg sandwich? I clicked all this for an egg sandwich?

fuck you sir.
 

APRIL

Feel Free to Pee on Me
Sep 30, 2004
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:lol:

Who wrote this article? I mean it's funny.... So who did it?









Edit: is my hippyass allowed home still?