Thread Am I wrong at getting annoyed/mad at.....

OzSTEEZ

¡ɟɟo ʞɔnɟ ʇunɔ 'ᴉO
Nov 11, 2008
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Oz
So nothing seems to have changed... he's back to getting out of bed at around 12pm - 1pm.. After raking the leaves with his mother the other day he's done nothing else..
 

Dory Berkowitz-Bukowski

Ready for some Heroin
Oct 15, 2004
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For someone to change one of two things is necessary:

A) They WANT to change.
B) Necessity (i.e. imminent homelessness) means they HAVE to change.

Nothing else suffices or makes someone behave differently imo.
 

OzSTEEZ

¡ɟɟo ʞɔnɟ ʇunɔ 'ᴉO
Nov 11, 2008
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Oz
True.. I just don't think I can kick a 17 year old out. If nothing has changed by his 18th birthday. He'll be finding his own place to live.
 

Dory Berkowitz-Bukowski

Ready for some Heroin
Oct 15, 2004
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No idea about laws in the states. Here someone can be kicked out the day they turn 16. I was a lazy ass annoying teenager and when faced with 'oh shit I have nowhere to live' I got my ass in gear, got a job, paid my own rent etc. If someone has to sinik or swim you tend to find out if they have what it takes to swim. If they don't I'm not sure they ever will.

I'm not advocating kicking him out, I'm just saying if there's no care or necessity to change on his part then it isn't going to happen. No idea if you can think of any necessities. If you took certain things away would it mean he had to kick himself up the ass?
 

OzSTEEZ

¡ɟɟo ʞɔnɟ ʇunɔ 'ᴉO
Nov 11, 2008
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Oz
Well I'm probably going to be imposing a ban on seeing his girlfriend soon if he doesn't change in the near future..
 

dbzeag

Wants to kiss you where it stinks
Jun 9, 2006
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Have you thought about hitting up the local bike shops on your own, asking if they have a position open, and presenting "technically" your son with an application? If you tell him that you found a lead and that they were interested in him based on what you told him, it will show your son he still does some good in yours eyes and you believe in him and it gives him at least one direction to choose to go (the applications -> job doing something interesting for him).

Or tell him Baker's Square is hiring and you require pies.
 

OzSTEEZ

¡ɟɟo ʞɔnɟ ʇunɔ 'ᴉO
Nov 11, 2008
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Oz
Have you thought about hitting up the local bike shops on your own, asking if they have a position open, and presenting "technically" your son with an application? If you tell him that you found a lead and that they were interested in him based on what you told him, it will show your son he still does some good in yours eyes and you believe in him and it gives him at least one direction to choose to go (the applications -> job doing something interesting for him).

Or tell him Baker's Square is hiring and you require pies.

He is not my son.
 

OzSTEEZ

¡ɟɟo ʞɔnɟ ʇunɔ 'ᴉO
Nov 11, 2008
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Oz
You are legally married to his birth mother, right?

Well you haven't signed adoption papers for yourself, so I guess not then.

Exactly. I did not bring him into this world. I have had no part in raising him at all. He is not my responsibility apart from providing for him, of which I accept completely.
 

Coqui

Piccolo Pete
Oct 14, 2004
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He is not my son.

You seem to be very hesitant to attach yourself to him. Yes he's your wife's kid, but there's no emotional involvement towards him on your part? If I'm wrong in sensing this, my apologies.

But still, dbzeag's idea isn't that bad to see how serious he is about his bike passion.
 

dbzeag

Wants to kiss you where it stinks
Jun 9, 2006
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You seem to be very hesitant to attach yourself to him. Yes he's your wife's kid, but there's no emotional involvement towards him on your part? If I'm wrong in sensing this, my apologies.

But still, dbzeag's idea isn't that bad to see how serious he is about his bike passion.

Of course my idea is brilliant! It's my idea!
 

dbzeag

Wants to kiss you where it stinks
Jun 9, 2006
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Not all your ideas have been brilliant. Trying to convince me to walk around outside with nothing but a G-string in the middle of January is not brilliant.

No but it serves you right for not filling my inbox with your n00ds
 

OzSTEEZ

¡ɟɟo ʞɔnɟ ʇunɔ 'ᴉO
Nov 11, 2008
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Oz
You seem to be very hesitant to attach yourself to him. Yes he's your wife's kid, but there's no emotional involvement towards him on your part? If I'm wrong in sensing this, my apologies.

But still, dbzeag's idea isn't that bad to see how serious he is about his bike passion.

I care about the kid, but not like his own mother cares about him..

I will pass this idea onto her..
 

dbzeag

Wants to kiss you where it stinks
Jun 9, 2006
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Mr. Liam, have you attended some of his BMX events? Even for encouragement? Maybe it would guide him along if he saw he had support at home for that.
 

OzSTEEZ

¡ɟɟo ʞɔnɟ ʇunɔ 'ᴉO
Nov 11, 2008
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Oz
Mr. Liam, have you attended some of his BMX events? Even for encouragement? Maybe it would guide him along if he saw he had support at home for that.

He hasn't done any events here yet.. Last one he went to he traveled with friends to PA to attend.

I probably wouldn't go though if there were a local event.. Depends on my agenda, and my mood.
 

dbzeag

Wants to kiss you where it stinks
Jun 9, 2006
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Then again don't listen to any advice I have for kids. I am severely unqualified in giving any advice. Please ignore.
 

OzSTEEZ

¡ɟɟo ʞɔnɟ ʇunɔ 'ᴉO
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Oz
I do take parental advice from non parents with a grain of salt.