Thread Am I wrong at getting annoyed/mad at.....

Casper

Bobbert Cheapstein
Oct 6, 2009
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Start charging him rent.

If he was older, I would totally agree. I don't think tough love is going to work on an already apparently fragile (antisocial, depressed, etc) person. He might toughen up. But he is just as likely to completely collapse.
 

OzSTEEZ

¡ɟɟo ʞɔnɟ ʇunɔ 'ᴉO
Nov 11, 2008
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Oz
you may not be his parent but does he not live under your roof?

honestly sounds like he doesn't need a friend, brotato, he needs a father figure to kick his ass into gear. I understand if juli feels differently but if you have a hand in financially supporting him - feeding and housing him - then you do have a say in what time he gets up in the morning

how about working at a bike shop? best way to get into competitions is to be involved in the scene as often as possible and knowing how to build and repair his bike can only help him be a better competitor

I do tell Juli I don't want him lounging around doing nothing. I am always talking to her about this. I'm trying to give him some time to turn things around as well as Juli time to turn things around. I want to wait until all else has failed before I interject myself into the situation, because when I do, it ain't gonna be pretty..
 

OzSTEEZ

¡ɟɟo ʞɔnɟ ʇunɔ 'ᴉO
Nov 11, 2008
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Oz
If he was older, I would totally agree. I don't think tough love is going to work on an already apparently fragile (antisocial, depressed, etc) person. He might toughen up. But he is just as likely to completely collapse.

I will be looking to start charing him board when he is over 18. I had to do so when I was living with my parents when I moved back from Europe.
 

TuhMollie

Lot's Salty Wife
Nov 16, 2010
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he's 17, he's a kid. most teens wake up at noonish.
from what I know about him, he's had issues with his father, cut him some slack. GRANDPA LIAM!
you're not running a concentration camp...you are running a home.. this is the norm...also. im sure he will snap out of it soon. try to encourage him, be his pal, get in his head, get him to come and do some chores with you or take him to a hockey game or whatever you are into... include him... clearly he needs some love and support, not a drill Sargent, that will only make shit worse.

have some faith in him. work together with Juli to get him out of his funk.

i love how everyone in this thread has already labeled him a lazy stoner with no future.

I was in space at 17.

mother fucking deaaaaad
41569_45246528420_2203_n.jpg
 

OzSTEEZ

¡ɟɟo ʞɔnɟ ʇunɔ 'ᴉO
Nov 11, 2008
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Oz
he's 17, he's a kid. most teens wake up at noonish.
from what I know about him, he's had issues with his father, cut him some slack. GRANDPA LIAM!
you're not running a concentration camp...you are running a home.. this is the norm...also. im sure he will snap out of it soon. try to encourage him, be his pal, get in his head, get him to come and do some chores with you or take him to a hockey game or whatever you are into... include him... clearly he needs some love and support, not a drill Sargent, that will only make shit worse.

have some faith in him. work together with Juli to get him out of his funk.

i love how everyone in this thread has already labeled him a lazy stoner with no future.

A lot of this has already been going on. He's been like this for awhile now and is showing no signs of changing. His mother goes out of her way a lot for him and treats him very well. Well a lot better than I was treated as a kid. Yet he shows no signs of appreciation nor willingness to change his lifestyle. This is why I am getting mad.
 
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TuhMollie

Lot's Salty Wife
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liam, he's depressed. dont look at this so much as laziness as much as a cry for help. TRUST ME... i know about mental issues.
i think it starts with really small things...
also, remember, he left ohio... all his friends.. his whole life. he's a kid. your buddies are your life at 16.
 

OzSTEEZ

¡ɟɟo ʞɔnɟ ʇunɔ 'ᴉO
Nov 11, 2008
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Oz
liam, he's depressed. dont look at this so much as laziness as much as a cry for help. TRUST ME... i know about mental issues.
i think it starts with really small things...
also, remember, he left ohio... all his friends.. his whole life. he's a kid. your buddies are your life at 16.

You think I don't know what depression is? Do you think I was allowed to do the shit he is doing? My depressed as was pushed to get a job. And I'm greatful for that. Because of that I am where I am today. Had that not happened, I'd probably be still on my parents couch playing the playstation all day..
 

APRIL

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liam, he's depressed. dont look at this so much as laziness as much as a cry for help. TRUST ME... i know about mental issues.
i think it starts with really small things...
also, remember, he left ohio... all his friends.. his whole life. he's a kid. your buddies are your life at 16.

This could be it. My sister sleeps until late afternoon constantly, is unemployed, but has a college degree and a husband in Iraq. She's diagnosed manic depressive as are the rest of the females in my family. :hs:

He needs direction badly.
 

Applesauce

The Gypsy-The Acid Queen
Dec 9, 2008
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The boy is bored and lost right now. He isn't stupid or crazy, just shiftless. He needs purpose. You know what could give him that purpose? The Marine Corps.


Pretty much...

It's like this...

His father and I divorce when he was about 10. His father didn't do a gotdamn thing with him. Had him do no chores, no jobs to give him, and he even owned a business at the time! He never did father son shit with him, nothing at all. This was him as a husband, though, too.

So, the kid starts acting up his freshman yr. Got with a wrong crowd, started ditching. He got labeled truant, got in trouble for it. He straightened up a bit his Soph yr, but by then, his father was a pill popping, alcoholic and berated him all the time. Knocked him around, broke his stuff, lied about me, etc. So, the kid gave up and fell into a mess of depression and just bullshit. He quit caring and didn't go to school regulalry anymore.

He was put on probabtion for this, and sent to an alternative school. He went, but if he missed one day, literally one day, if he missed the bus, his father AND probate officer sent him to an 8 hour boot/labor camp. Summer of 2009, he broke his whole leg. Was stuck inside with his weirdo father and step mother, etc. He was still required to go to this alt school. The problem wasn't him going, the problem was that he was in pain and taking percocets for it, but still required to also go to the labor camp for 8 hours!

I think all of this was enough and he truly ended up giving up altogether. So, I flew up to OH in May last yr and got the judge to overturn his not being able to leave the state restrictions. He's been here with us...

I've had him at a head doc. He has been prescribed Adderall, Vyvanse & now currently, Celexa. In the sessions, I've discovered that my son does a lot of "self numbing" which is why he's seeking drugs. I don't think he truly knows himself WTF his problem is, but I've now cut him off from any refills of any drugs and I told the doc this, too. So, we are advised to seek ongoing therapy instead of drugs.

I feel like...I have been handed this boy who has had 0 guidance since 10 yrs old with his father and I have a huge ass mountain to climb to get him "be" who we want him to be.

I've now resorted to tough love as of last weekend. It's been hard, as I've always tried to allow him to talk his deal out, but now I've laid it all out, so he knows that the only thing holding him back from anything is HIM.

Everything now is give and take. If he gets up late like this, don't expect me to allow your g/f to either come over, or for me to pick her up and drive her/you anywhere. He's wanted me to deposit these checks that he's rec'd for Christmas, but I haven't done that for him because of this pattern...

The GED thing, yes he is very willing...but as Liam said, he has to be enrolled in the local HS to get into their program. He has to pass their entrance exams to get in. I told him that he has to find the VA study guides online for this and that I was leaving this up to him.

The reason he isn't in school is because the probation officer never set up "credit sharing" from his high school to the alt school and thus whatever he's done there was never credited. So...I call to get transcripts, only to learn that the kid as no credits. Which is complete bullshit, because he did attend pretty regularly in his soph yr and he did OK, too.

Liam mentioned once that he understands it's hard for a mom to be hard on a kid when she thinks the kid may have troubles and instead want to help them. That was me, yes. But, now I've had it, too.

When I ask him to do something, he does do it. But, it's not enough, as Liam mentioned, ths kid needs to learn a freaking schedule. It's a giant pain in my ass and every day I can't help but feel more hatred @ his father for not even taking the kid fishing or making him mow the damned lawn. Now, I feel as is I've got to undo all of these terrible patterns.

ffs
 

my little brony

Keep Being A Little Bitch
Oct 15, 2004
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Juli is not hispanic.
close enough


I do tell Juli I don't want him lounging around doing nothing. I am always talking to her about this. I'm trying to give him some time to turn things around as well as Juli time to turn things around. I want to wait until all else has failed before I interject myself into the situation, because when I do, it ain't gonna be pretty..

good luck with all that
 

Applesauce

The Gypsy-The Acid Queen
Dec 9, 2008
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liam, he's depressed. dont look at this so much as laziness as much as a cry for help. TRUST ME... i know about mental issues.
i think it starts with really small things...
also, remember, he left ohio... all his friends.. his whole life. he's a kid. your buddies are your life at 16.


I KNOW he's depressed, but this is now something I feel he can make better by getting up and realizing that his life is HIS for the making.

He's had no responsiblity thrown at him until now! It's fucking making me angry just to type this and know he's in the other room.

I know he hates himself right now, but I can't baby him anymore. He's got to physically help himself, not pill pop himself.
 

Applesauce

The Gypsy-The Acid Queen
Dec 9, 2008
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He's a stoner and a regular 17 year old boy.

How in the hell is Juli old enough to have a 17 year old son? She's too hot for that. A total MILF.

I was 20. College.

Strep throat + antibiotics + the pill didn't mix and they didn't really know this back then. :fly:
 

OzSTEEZ

¡ɟɟo ʞɔnɟ ʇunɔ 'ᴉO
Nov 11, 2008
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Oz
I KNOW he's depressed, but this is now something I feel he can make better by getting up and realizing that his life is HIS for the making.

He's had no responsiblity thrown at him until now! It's fucking making me angry just to type this and know he's in the other room.

I know he hates himself right now, but I can't baby him anymore. He's got to physically help himself, not pill pop himself.

Exactly. It's not about what we want him to be, but rather what he wants himself to be. And to be whatever that is he has to do something. I'm almost 30 and still don't know exactly what I want to be. But I sure as hell know what I don't want to be, and I'm doing what it take not to be that!
 

Applesauce

The Gypsy-The Acid Queen
Dec 9, 2008
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Well what kinda shit makes him happy? He should consider trying to learn a trade that allows him to do what he likes.

If the only thing he likes to do is sleep and eat your food, take him out back and put one behind the ear.


(I hope Juli reads this thread.)

He does go out with friends and he is fucking amazing on a BMX. Kid can do almost anything, no lie.

He just has zero drive to do anything further with it. He's come so close to being sponsored when he was 13-14, and then he started freshman yr....And really, he did not grow up with my allowing him to be a bored ass little shit, either. He was extremely active, well liked, did well in school, had chores, etc....
Then we divorced and he lived with his father....wasn't the best option obviously.