I moved to Europe when I was 17. I had money and skills. I had means. He does not.
I understand, I'm just saying that banning him from seeing her will probably only cause more problems given his utter lack of desire to do anything else.
I've seen a case like his in person, and it doesn't get better for very long, even a few years later. Gotta get him out of the house somehow, job, military school, something, he needs to WANT to support himself.
On second thought, banning him may work then, he'll be forced to come up with a way to see her
Hide your car keys!
If he took my car, he'll have a shit ton more to worry about. I'd have his ass charged with auto theft, and would not bail him out.
I just want him to start learning the value of earning your luxuries. Seeing a girl is a luxury, not a right. Smoking ciggs is a luxury. I'm not happy supplying these thing is he isn't going to earn them.. These are fundamental aspects to adulthood independence.
Supplying him with cigs is basically justifying his lack of desire to work. Regardless of your opinion on whether someone his age should smoke or not, he needs to learn the value of a dollar. Cigarettes are not a necessity. If he wants them, he should pay for them himself.
You supply hiim with cigs? Something is up with that o_0
That's like supplying youd kid with as much booze as they want, whenever they want. Fuck that. There's no way I'd expect ANYONE to pay for my cigs. He needs to stop being a bum and get a job.
I had been suggesting military school to his mother years ago. But that was hard because he lived with his father who is a fucking horrific father..
His girlfriend doesn't live close, and neither of them drive, so they rely on us.
Maybe, whatever you do provide for him, instead of getting it for him / giving it to him (clothing, cable, rides, date $, etc) you should give to him at the beginning of the month. Then, when he blows it by the 10th, he's the one who's done it, and he'll have to live the next 20 days in the situation he has created for himself.She's in agreement that he needs to pay for these things himself..
So you've stopped paying for them already?
Well I buy cartons.. So he used to get one pack from that carton every now and then.. I've since stopped and had to hide my cartons..
His mother buys him a pack every week or two.. She has said that she will begin to phase that out..