Am I in the wrong here?

I told him, that I would go if they actually call and invite me myself. He tried to do the standard, "no its ok, they want you there" bit but I stood my ground and said, again "They can call me to ask me to come."

*disclaimer* what you are about to read is not meant to be mean or bitchy at all .. just direct and to the point (matter of factly if you will).

You are a guy right?

That is how 90% of guys operate. They don't have that "social connection" that girls do. They have a party and pass the word around. They don't call their buddies on a regular basis and chit chat. They have a few direct friends they may (or may not) call and invite to do things, the rest get asked indirectly (just like your friend has done here).

When you are outside a guys "group" and they tell someone to spread the word to you .. that means they like you being around. Otherwise they would say "hey, don't tell "so-and-so" ok. And you wouldn't get invited.

Just because they don't send you a pink, frilly, invitation card, 4 e-mail's asking for a RSVP, and leave 3 voicemails begging you to come .. doesn't mean your friend is inviting you without them asking.

If you want to go have a blast .. then go. Otherwise, go watch a movie at your parents house .. since you know they'll ask personally themselves.

Sorry if it sounds blunt, but I am a blunt person. You just gotta get over the fact that people will use other peopel to invite you. It's just how it works.
 
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^SRC has a good perception :lol: I talk to most of the guys I know maybe once a month or less, unless there is a specific reason.
 
Maybe, but I simply feel like I'm inviting myself every time they do something.

We're guys man. We're simple. So they don't feel comfortable and/or care to call you, who cares? I have a ton of people that I only hang out with through friends. Believe me, if those guys didn't want you there, though you were a loser, and/or hated you, you wouldn't fuckin be invited.

Not only were you in the wrong, but I think you owe your friend an apology for even thinking of putting him in that place. :heart:
 
Not only were you in the wrong, but I think you owe your friend an apology for even thinking of putting him in that place. :heart:



that's fekkin gay. the guy train of thought: i should probably apologize for saying that. *several days pass* i could apologize for saying that. *end of april, we had beers the other night and i didn't bring it up* he should man up, he knows i didn't intend any offense, was remorseful and if he has a problem with no spoken apology, piss off *yo dude, cavs are in the playoffs. you want to catch a game tomorrow at hooters?*
 
that's fekkin gay. the guy train of thought: i should probably apologize for saying that. *several days pass* i could apologize for saying that. *end of april, we had beers the other night and i didn't bring it up* he should man up, he knows i didn't intend any offense, was remorseful and if he has a problem with no spoken apology, piss off *yo dude, cavs are in the playoffs. you want to catch a game tomorrow at hooters?*

Good point. If I were hanging out with the dude tomorrow, I'd apologize. But if its gonna be awhile, just ride it out. :D
 
We're guys man. We're simple. So they don't feel comfortable and/or care to call you, who cares? I have a ton of people that I only hang out with through friends. Believe me, if those guys didn't want you there, though you were a loser, and/or hated you, you wouldn't fuckin be invited.

Not only were you in the wrong, but I think you owe your friend an apology for even thinking of putting him in that place. :heart:

he does, doofus.
 
We're guys man. We're simple. So they don't feel comfortable and/or care to call you, who cares? I have a ton of people that I only hang out with through friends. Believe me, if those guys didn't want you there, though you were a loser, and/or hated you, you wouldn't fuckin be invited.

Not only were you in the wrong, but I think you owe your friend an apology for even thinking of putting him in that place. :heart:

he does, doofus.
 
Maybe, but I simply feel like I'm inviting myself every time they do something.
you gotta keep doing that until you've built some more common experience with them. it'll take time, and you'll feel awkward, but it's gotta be done to break into an established group of friends. it's worth it if you think they're fun to hang out with.

edit: oops, old thread.
 
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I tried skimming through this and didn't see it. Have you made any effort to contact them while your ex-roomate was gone? They may not put you in their initial plans of contact because you never talked to them before they got back in touch with your ex-roomate.

Again if this was already covered, accept my apologies.
 
I talk to them plenty. I've called a few times to see if they wanted to go to the movies, or out and so forth. Don't think I haven't tried, I tried plenty. Its just what I said, If they didn't call me to come, why does someone 1000 miles away feel the need to tell me to go? I respect people enough not to just crash something I wasn't directly invited to.

Let me put it in a perspective. Lets say I overhear that WAW is having a party from fly. WAW hasn't told me about it, and lets just say we talk every day and hang out often. I would be in the wrong if I just showed up. without being invited.
 
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