Thread All new 2019 Super Duper Sperm thread!

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Got some actual spam today.

I'm not sure if this one's supposed to be a test from the IT folks or not: "[EXTERNAL] Charmin's digital bot is the perfect Zoom companion: Sit on the toilet while in a work meeting and no one will know".

The entire body of the email: "The toilet paper giant trots out a digital bot prototype that offers a way to "slip away to do No. 1 or No. 2" while on a video conference."

...except the text was purple.

Like, perfect 5 out of 7 for the "trots" pun, but minus several dozen for managing to actually get through our spam filters.

It came through while I was sitting on the shitter, which, just wow.
 
Went to pickup the old lady and her friend from the Stones concert after work last night. What a clusterfuck. They should've made them pay to widen the road when they built that place out there. Some 100,000 or whatever person facility on a 2-lane road has to be the height of disfunctionality. Dummies.
 
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Got to do a bit of night hunting out here at the hips full service massage parlor and exotic game ranch.
Not bad shootin if I don't say so myself.

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Went to pickup the old lady and her friend from the Stones concert after work last night. What a clusterfuck. They should've made them pay to widen the road when they built that place out there. Some 100,000 or whatever person facility on a 2-lane road has to be the height of disfunctionality. Dummies.

the stones are touring ???
with walkers and wheel chairs ?
 
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Gonna have to reevaluate my heating strategy, a cord of firewood delivered was damn near $600.

Probably just go up and gather the Forest Service's leavings from where they thin out the scrub oak and piñon trees in the east mountains and cut/split them myself. WITH AN AXE, @Valve1138, no stupid hydraulic gimmicks here.
 
the stones are touring ???
with walkers and wheel chairs ?
Start Me Up
Gonna have to reevaluate my heating strategy, a cord of firewood delivered was damn near $600.

Probably just go up and gather the Forest Service's leavings from where they thin out the scrub oak and piñon trees in the east mountains and cut/split them myself. WITH AN AXE, @Valve1138, no stupid hydraulic gimmicks here.
WOW. That is mind blowing for me. Face cord, split and delivered, $45-60. FUll cord(4X4X8') - maybe $90-ish? Road and tree service is clearing out 2-3' diam. hardwoods. We had a tornado touch down a few miles away - lot of signs/ads for stump grinding. Wood will be dirt cheap next year.

But hey, not like you have tons of woods there. I've heard almost the same pricing from peeps on the east coast - they had wood, cut all that shit down I guess. Supply vs. demand.
 
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Yeah a full cord is $100 CAD here.

I guess New Mexico doesn't exactly have a huge forestry industry. How well does cactus burn in the woodstove?
We've got loads of forests, maybe I'm just buying from the wrong place. I like 'em though, they employ veterans, and they consistently deliver a good mix of piñon, juniper, and cedar.
 
Nice to hear somebody using cedar in the fireplace. It smells nice.
The internet is full of people telling other people it will burn your house down. Maybe they just want to ensure supply for themselves.
 
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Nice to hear somebody using cedar in the fireplace. It smells nice.
The internet is full of people telling other people it will burn your house down. Maybe they just want to ensure supply for themselves.
Never heard anyone tell me that one before.

The only wood I won't burn is pressure treated timbers.
 
Nice to hear somebody using cedar in the fireplace. It smells nice.
The internet is full of people telling other people it will burn your house down. Maybe they just want to ensure supply for themselves.
That's just people that burn wood.

Like newfoundland is 90% black spruce and fir trees, that's what people burn for firewood, and you save the rare chunk of birch to fire in the woodstove before you go to bed because it'll last the night. And here in NS, where there's way more hardwood in the forests, nobody burns softwood because it creosotes up your chimney quicker and you gotta clean it more often.

Discovered this at the old house where I cut down a big ass spruce tree, tried to give it away for firewood on a local facebook group and nobody wanted it. Some VOLUNTEER FIREFIGHTER even piped up how dangerous it was to burn softwood and how nobody should ever do it because it's apparently a massive fire risk, wtf.

Cedar is especially bad for creosoting up chimneys, just like softwood clean your chimney often if you burn a lot of it.
 
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