Thread All new 2019 Super Duper Sperm thread!

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No fuckin' idea, there's a stamp, but no postmark.
I remember you posting the sort of info I would consider far too personal but alas I am lazy, don't remember it, didn't save it, and couldn't send you something cool, funny, or even creepy if I tried.

I have gotten several things in the mail where the cancel mark didn't take. Machine ran out of ink or the letter went through funny or whatever. I cut those out and re-use them. One of my little ways of getting one over on the system.
 
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Ironing women's clothes can be a bit of a pain sometimes. They're cut all funny to fit their curves and stuff you can't just smooth it all straight down.

Yes I do the ironing. I'm better at it.
 
Got a couple of these cheap 15 buck on Amazon taser flashlights for the old lady. Didn't know what to expect. Seem to be decently built enough. Larger is aluminum, smaller is plastic. Not #PROFESSIONALGRADE but don't feel overly cheap. Certainly look and sound impressive when you spark em up. Need to test them on myself to know what they will and won't do to a real person before giving them the OK but should probably do such experiments under supervision.

Or just get a little mouthy and push the right buttons (on her not the tasers) and I'll know soon enough.

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Phone camera lense kind of gets confused with the brightness/contrast but that's the spark on the little one, not the flashlight bulb.

Both charge from a wall plug not USB. Little one has a plug that comes out from the side and you just plug the whole thing in the wall.
Big one has a cord that's maybe a foot long at most. I guess they saved some money there.
Both come with a little cloth carrying case with Velcro flap for containment and a loop to belt mount. Flimsy cloth. Saved some more money there. I can foresee problems drawing the thing out of the "holster" without getting bound up.

I'll provide further info after I get zapped a couple times. If they do the business I'll make up a couple solid holsters that are reliably drawn from.
If they don't, meh, not out much.
 
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I don’t know why, but I want to know how much it hurts.

Please create a YouTube account and zap a kid or something. Perhaps an unsuspecting asshole at the grocery store or that cat bat restaurant you like to go to.
 
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The dumbest thing I’ve learned about my iPhone is I can’t purchase books on my Kindle app. What is the reasoning behind this? Apparently Apple charges 30% of each purchase?
 
I can’t tell if I’m drunk off three beers or high. I’m sleepy. But I want to play video games and bass guitar. I need a cookie.
 
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If you need a nap at your age, you may have a deficiency of some kind. Are you eating well? Drinking too much? Have four oz of some nice, juicy steak. That’ll fix it.

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I always need a nap.

Oh, don’t get me wrong. Naps are glorious. I just wanted to poke at him for being young and tired when he should be full of vim and vigor. I used to take 12 minute naps during quick breaks at work, but that didn’t start until I was 40. He’s like 10 years younger than my son who never even thinks about napping.
 
The dumbest thing I’ve learned about my iPhone is I can’t purchase books on my Kindle app. What is the reasoning behind this? Apparently Apple charges 30% of each purchase?
That's all likely to be changing, due to an Epic v Apple lawsuit. But yes, for now, Apple demands that all purchases go through Apple - which some people have refused to do.
 
I don’t know why, but I want to know how much it hurts.

Please create a YouTube account and zap a kid or something. Perhaps an unsuspecting asshole at the grocery store or that cat bat restaurant you like to go to.
Well there's two of them so I have to test them both. Then I also have to know how they do with just a t-shirt/summer wear as well as a couple layers plus a winter coat, so I'll let you know when I work up the gumption to zap myself 4 times. Or find enough unsuspecting subjects to complete the trial.
 
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