Thread All new 2019 Super Duper Sperm thread!

Jehannum

HO HO HO METH GIANT
Jul 24, 2013
40,975
42,672
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Albuquerque, NM
Got some actual spam today.

I'm not sure if this one's supposed to be a test from the IT folks or not: "[EXTERNAL] Charmin's digital bot is the perfect Zoom companion: Sit on the toilet while in a work meeting and no one will know".

The entire body of the email: "The toilet paper giant trots out a digital bot prototype that offers a way to "slip away to do No. 1 or No. 2" while on a video conference."

...except the text was purple.

Like, perfect 5 out of 7 for the "trots" pun, but minus several dozen for managing to actually get through our spam filters.

It came through while I was sitting on the shitter, which, just wow.
 

HipHugHer

Looks like Ted Nugent, Smells like Sasquatch
Apr 18, 2016
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Went to pickup the old lady and her friend from the Stones concert after work last night. What a clusterfuck. They should've made them pay to widen the road when they built that place out there. Some 100,000 or whatever person facility on a 2-lane road has to be the height of disfunctionality. Dummies.
 
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HipHugHer

Looks like Ted Nugent, Smells like Sasquatch
Apr 18, 2016
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Got to do a bit of night hunting out here at the hips full service massage parlor and exotic game ranch.
Not bad shootin if I don't say so myself.

20211116_215745_HDR_(1)_(1).jpg
 
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TuhMollie

Lot's Salty Wife
Nov 16, 2010
51,120
29,064
1,073
Currently Locked up: esposa
Went to pickup the old lady and her friend from the Stones concert after work last night. What a clusterfuck. They should've made them pay to widen the road when they built that place out there. Some 100,000 or whatever person facility on a 2-lane road has to be the height of disfunctionality. Dummies.

the stones are touring ???
with walkers and wheel chairs ?
 
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Jehannum

HO HO HO METH GIANT
Jul 24, 2013
40,975
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41
Albuquerque, NM
Gonna have to reevaluate my heating strategy, a cord of firewood delivered was damn near $600.

Probably just go up and gather the Forest Service's leavings from where they thin out the scrub oak and piñon trees in the east mountains and cut/split them myself. WITH AN AXE, @Valve1138, no stupid hydraulic gimmicks here.
 

wetwillie

Know-It-All Pee-Paw
May 24, 2018
19,368
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Mid MIchigan
the stones are touring ???
with walkers and wheel chairs ?
Start Me Up
Gonna have to reevaluate my heating strategy, a cord of firewood delivered was damn near $600.

Probably just go up and gather the Forest Service's leavings from where they thin out the scrub oak and piñon trees in the east mountains and cut/split them myself. WITH AN AXE, @Valve1138, no stupid hydraulic gimmicks here.
WOW. That is mind blowing for me. Face cord, split and delivered, $45-60. FUll cord(4X4X8') - maybe $90-ish? Road and tree service is clearing out 2-3' diam. hardwoods. We had a tornado touch down a few miles away - lot of signs/ads for stump grinding. Wood will be dirt cheap next year.

But hey, not like you have tons of woods there. I've heard almost the same pricing from peeps on the east coast - they had wood, cut all that shit down I guess. Supply vs. demand.
 
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Jehannum

HO HO HO METH GIANT
Jul 24, 2013
40,975
42,672
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Albuquerque, NM
Yeah a full cord is $100 CAD here.

I guess New Mexico doesn't exactly have a huge forestry industry. How well does cactus burn in the woodstove?
We've got loads of forests, maybe I'm just buying from the wrong place. I like 'em though, they employ veterans, and they consistently deliver a good mix of piñon, juniper, and cedar.
 

HipHugHer

Looks like Ted Nugent, Smells like Sasquatch
Apr 18, 2016
29,782
42,385
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79
Nice to hear somebody using cedar in the fireplace. It smells nice.
The internet is full of people telling other people it will burn your house down. Maybe they just want to ensure supply for themselves.
 
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gee

Blame It On The Gassa Nova
Sep 29, 2012
15,879
17,638
373
Halifax
Nice to hear somebody using cedar in the fireplace. It smells nice.
The internet is full of people telling other people it will burn your house down. Maybe they just want to ensure supply for themselves.
That's just people that burn wood.

Like newfoundland is 90% black spruce and fir trees, that's what people burn for firewood, and you save the rare chunk of birch to fire in the woodstove before you go to bed because it'll last the night. And here in NS, where there's way more hardwood in the forests, nobody burns softwood because it creosotes up your chimney quicker and you gotta clean it more often.

Discovered this at the old house where I cut down a big ass spruce tree, tried to give it away for firewood on a local facebook group and nobody wanted it. Some VOLUNTEER FIREFIGHTER even piped up how dangerous it was to burn softwood and how nobody should ever do it because it's apparently a massive fire risk, wtf.

Cedar is especially bad for creosoting up chimneys, just like softwood clean your chimney often if you burn a lot of it.