Adultry Affects 80% of Couples?

APRIL

APRIL

Feel Free to Pee on Me
Sep 30, 2004
103,488
38,145
1,823
Houston
Marklar
₥60,587
Whoa that seems to be super high, or am I just naive?

http://www.oprah.com/relationships/...tion=Couplehood&subsection=Infidelity?cnn=yes
Dealing with Adultery

Has your mate been unfaithful? Unfortunately, you're not alone. Eighty percent of marriages are affected by infidelity. For the 35% of couples that stay together after infidelity, rebuilding a relationship and sex life can be difficult—but not impossible, says Dr. Phil McGraw.

A Private Issue
People outside your relationship and family may gossip or ask about the affair. Remember, it's not their business. Dealing with the aftermath of infidelity is something that concerns you and your mate (and nobody else!) Don't care about what others say. Work on what works for your relationship and family

If you were unfaithful:
You made a bad decision, so accept the responsibility. It's your duty to give your spouse whatever he or she needs, no matter how long it takes. Ask what you need to do in order to make your relationship work for your mate. While you may feel ready to go back to "normal" again, your spouse might not be. Understand that your mate needs time, so give that to him or her. Don't try to justify your past behavior; no excuse can change the past. It may seem like a big job, but remember: you made the mistake, so you need to fix it. One last word: if you still have contact with the "other person," it's time to sever the relationship. You and your partner will never solve the problem with a third party involved.

If your mate cheated:
First of all, do you think that you can forgive your mate? If the answer is no, then you may need to examine whether the relationship can work again. Never invest more into a relationship than you can afford to lose. If you can't afford to be rejected or put down again, then you need to tell your mate. If you do want to rebuild a sexual relationship, start by facing the issues. Most likely, any sexual problems after an affair are symptoms of a larger problem. This problem might be one of trust, vulnerability, or attention. Be honest with your partner and explain your needs.
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...but then it is coming from Oprah.
 
I think it's right too. Most people today just don't thave the moral fiber to keep it in their pants. They either think no one is gonna find out or they just don't care. It's like people have lost all self control. They just do things on impulse with no regard to the consequences, it's like they think there are no consequences .. right up until a suitcase slaps them in the head on its way out the front door.

I think more guys do it than girls, but I think girls do their fair share too.

People who go to bars/clubs w/o their SO are more likely to cheat imo.

Why go get drunk and writhe around in a sea of bodies .. alone, without your SO .. it doesn't make sense. I know a lot of girls (and guys) who try to use the line "omg I was just drunk, I couldn't help it, I didn't mean to" .. well you shouldn't have been out there doing it in the first place then.

Girls/guys night out .. is a bad idea imo. It is trouble waiting to happen. Especially if a married person goes out with single people. It's like the single people try to sabotage the married ones on purpose .. pushing people at them in hopes of "getting them laid". I've seen it happen first hand.

I feel weird going to a club w/o Mikey. I've done it twice I think. When guys ask to buy you drinks and you say "no thank you" because you have a BF .. they always give you this look like "yeah right, then where is he then and why are you even in here, huh?". :rolleyes:

It absolutely made me feel like a total heel .. thing is .. it doesnt' bother most people like that, which is sad.
 
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SRC said:
I think it's right too. Most people today just don't thave the moral fiber to keep it in their pants. They either think no one is gonna find out or they just don't care. It's like people have lost all self control. They just do things on impulse with no regard to the consequences, it's like they think there are no consequences .. right up until a suitcase slaps them in the head on its way out the front door.

I think more guys do it than girls, but I think girls do their fair share too.

People who go to bars/clubs w/o their SO are more likely to cheat imo.

Why go get drunk and writhe around in a sea of bodies .. alone, without your SO .. it doesn't make sense. I know a lot of girls (and guys) who try to use the line "omg I was just drunk, I couldn't help it, I didn't mean to" .. well you shouldn't have been out there doing it in the first place then.

Girls/guys night out .. is a bad idea imo. It is trouble waiting to happen. Especially if a married person goes out with single people. It's like the single people try to sabotage the married ones on purpose .. pushing people at them in hopes of "getting them laid". I've seen it happen first hand.

I feel weird going to a club w/o Mikey. I've done it twice I think. When guys ask to buy you drinks and you say "no thank you" because you have a BF .. they always give you this look like "yeah right, then where is he then and why are you even in here, huh?". :rolleyes:

It absolutely made me feel like a total heel .. thing is .. it doesnt' bother most people like that, which is sad.
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I used to be the same way on a much more drastic scale. But with fly, I don't mind if he goes to a club or bar. I know he wont put himself in that position. We never goes to bars or clubs in tampa unless our friends ask both of us out anyways.

Its trust. If it is going to happen there isn't a damn thing you can do to stop it.
 
I would also say that number is probably high, at least in the circle of people I know it is way high. My numbers are probably skewed due to where I live though. (And no, I'm not saying Mormons never cheat, I know they do, but with the people I know, most of them have not).
 
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Yeah .. but a lot of people trust their SO .. it's the SO not being trustworthy that is the problem.

I trust Mikey and I certainly hope he trusts me .. but I still don't like it. I won't do it again .. it just didn't feel right. I fell whorish dancing and getting drunk without my BF there. Wasn't a fun evening for me. After 2 songs I sat down and didn't move the rest of the night and just drank myself pissed all by my lonesome. I think I made it un-fun for my friend too :fly: she had to dance alone.
 
SRC said:
Yeah .. but a lot of people trust their SO .. it's the SO not being trustworthy that is the problem.

I trust Mikey and I certainly hope he trusts me .. but I still don't like it. I won't do it again .. it just didn't feel right. I fell whorish dancing and getting drunk without my BF there. Wasn't a fun evening for me. After 2 songs I sat down and didn't move the rest of the night and just drank myself pissed all by my lonesome. I think I made it un-fun for my friend too :fly: she had to dance alone.
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fly gets in the way of my whoring at the clubs when hes there.



I mean uhh... I know what you are saying, having my SO there makes it for a much more fun of a night. :D:heart:
 
April23 said:
I used to be the same way on a much more drastic scale. But with fly, I don't mind if he goes to a club or bar. I know he wont put himself in that position. We never goes to bars or clubs in tampa unless our friends ask both of us out anyways.

Its trust. If it is going to happen there isn't a damn thing you can do to stop it.
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Women take one look at him and assume he's flaming gay. It's not that he doesn't want to, it's that he never even gets a foot in the door.
 
SRC said:
Yeah .. but a lot of people trust their SO .. it's the SO not being trustworthy that is the problem.

I trust Mikey and I certainly hope he trusts me .. but I still don't like it. I won't do it again .. it just didn't feel right. I fell whorish dancing and getting drunk without my BF there. Wasn't a fun evening for me. After 2 songs I sat down and didn't move the rest of the night and just drank myself pissed all by my lonesome. I think I made it un-fun for my friend too :fly: she had to dance alone.
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If Kimie asked to go dancing at a club with her "gurlfriends" I'd be pissed off. You go to a club alone for one reason: to interact with the opposite sex. I also don't buy into the women justification BS of "I JUST GOTTA DANCE!" Dance at home with your man if you have to you godless heathen whores.
 
KNYTE said:
If Kimie asked to go dancing at a club with her "gurlfriends" I'd be pissed off. You go to a club alone for one reason: to interact with the opposite sex. I also don't buy into the women justification BS of "I JUST GOTTA DANCE!" Dance at home with your man if you have to you godless heathen whores.
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I didn't ask .. of course we aren't married either. If I were married it would have been a given that I wouldn't go, of course if we were married he wouldn't live in OH and me in AL :lol:. So I wouldn't have a problem at all .. cas he would go if I wanted to lol.

But I agree .. people do go to interact. It's not always with the other sex (at the start of the evening) though. I know I go to hang out with all my friends (we usually go in a group of 10-12, sometimes more, sometimes less.). But it still wasn't fun without MIkey.

I guess I'm getting old or something .. I'd rather go to a bar now than a club. I just don't like being around 400 people in a 30'x30' room anymore. :lol:
 
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