eh, don't even waste your time or energy. she'll probably be picking him up from jail in a limo when he gets out. some people live for abuse.
yeah, thats a post that you copy and paste into notepad for printing.
i tend to do that. ask dharma. i've sent all my friends to glasses.
My sister was a waitress back in the day, and had a customer who came in a lot, sat in her section, hit on her, and refused to leave. His behavior became a bit threatening eventually, and yet she couldn't bring herself to confront him about it.
I can't believe some of u are telling OP to give up on her. Wtf is wrong with u people! I would never walk away from my sister if she was in this situation.
What if he DID kill her? How fucking horrible would u feel for not helping more and walking away (if this was YOUR sister or SIL)
I read your post ThornBird. U are my hero.
i can speak from personal experience that if you build a support system for the VICTIM she can and may walk away from her situation.
but i guess every single situation is different.
lol @ crazy. fuck you puto.
i can speak from personal experience that if you build a support system for the VICTIM she can and may walk away from her situation.
but i guess every single situation is different.
lol @ crazy. fuck you puto.
No. It has nothing to do with a support system and everything about the chick making the same realization that everyone else made months/years ago. It probably would have happened in the same time frame, even if you were alone.
/allknowingfly
it takes a healthy brain to be capable to make rational decisions. those"everyone else"s you are referring to probably don't have a skewed perception. sometimes people aren't aware that they have a skewed perception.
think about a repetitively beaten dog. he got beat because he tried to eat. over the years, he learned not to eat, even though he was starving. he began to believe the situation, no matter how wrong it was.
now YOU come in, take the abuser away, and offer food. he, because of repetitive experience, has learned, and does believe, that if he attempts to eat, he will be beaten. this is what he KNOWS. the outsider will see the situation and think, "why doesn't that dog run to the food? the abuser's gone, this helper's here with food...go!" it doesn't make sense that the dog wouldn't run and eat. but all that dog has learned and now believes is that he will get hurt if he tries to eat that food. he sees the food, he is given patience to come to the food...but it does not make SENSE to him. he stands confused and unable to process what is so clear to everyone else watching.
things are not as easy as you assume they are, just because it makes sense to YOU. try to see that sometimes different things make just as much "sense" to other people.
Didn't you just repeat what I said, only longer? The girl won't leave (eat). She's programmed to stay no matter what anyone or any logic or any safety net says.
i guess i was reading your post like you'd give up because there's no way to reach her because she's just choosing to stay like she is. or like it's her own fault and she should know better and until she makes the decision there's nothing you can do. sorry if i misinterpreted your meaning.
No, that's what I'm saying. As an outsider, you can't do anything. Like you said, she's trained (choosing) to do what she does. Until she's completely fed up with it, there isnt a damn thing anyone can do.